CupofJoe

Ditto.

I really hope you'll take this to heart.

How are you today?

newhope01

CupofJoe

Sweeti,

If you broke your leg, would you try to fix it yourself? If you had a car accident and had brain trauma, would you try to heal yourself?

This isn't like trying to heal a little scratch with a Band-Aid.

I do think you can get sober. I also think that you would benefit immensely from professional help. Doing it "on your own" doesn't seem to be working.

Can you get into rehab?

AnvilheadII

sweeti - these are some, not all, of your posts regarding VALIUM, drinking, the endless cycle that has been ongoing for at least three years, or since you've first posted here. sadly, nothing has changed, the problems still exist, you bounce between booze and valium, and are having an ever increasing set of health problems directly related to your addiction.

05/23/16 I am currently on day 2. Just trying to make my way out of the alcoholic fog that has crowded my brain for the last 12 years. I'm on valium so I won't die from detox. I was on 2 bottles of wine a night. I've been to over 300 AA meetings without them really helping. There's got to be another way and I'm determined to find it. Just feel like I need some support.

09/30/16 Its 1.30am and Im on Day 4 and can't sleep. I tried to stay busy all day to get my mind off the withdrawals I'm having with no benzos. Normally I used to have valium to take if I couldn't sleep. I'd been on valium for 2 years and I felt better knowing it was there if I needed it.

1/31/17 to another poster: I can understand your anxiety. I don't have it that bad. Well done on a month. Just take baby steps and tell yourself byou are just as good as anyone else. That's how I get through things even though it's a bits hard. Maybe you have a bit of paranoia and are imagining what people are thinking. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves. No other advice. A doctor may just drug you out of your brain. Maybe a bit of valium may help.

4/26/17 Was shaking so much I couldn't drive to AA. At least I am not smoking tobacco. I need to get valium off the doctor. I don't want to end up back in hospital due to withdrawals. I will go tomorrow. I'm so scared right now. At least I am not going to suffocate to death.

11/2017 I didn't think of it just being withdrawals as I only drank for a few days. You are right. I saw my doctor and he gave me valium but I don't want to get hooked on it.

4/14/18 Hey thanks for asking. I went to the doctor and he said I have slight brain damage which is affecting my balance. I went off the valium and can walk much better. Unfortunately I went back to drinking. Detox is a month wait . My psychiatrist is happy to supervise detox. Maybe if I stock up on smokes and food I can stay in my house for a few days. I really can't walk on valium. I will also ask him about other drugs. Can't afford inpatient.

4/15/18 It's 2am and still can't sleep. My eyes are so tired can't read anymore. I took a valium but even that's only helped a bit.

09/18/18 The pub helped me today I told them how many drinks I wanted and extended my time by an hour before going. I talk on an AA website all day. I still can't do anything not even wash up. I intend to get back to 830 pm when I can only have time for one 8 drink bottle. I am doing 16 tonight down from 40. My psychiatrist won't give me any more valium so the shakes become unbearable. He is not nice. I will get through this somehow.

09/24/18 Guess what I got to see my psychiatrist and got some valium. I will start tomorrow or late tonight. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

09/27/18 Bad Day 1. Today was terrible despite having valium. I paced the house for 3 hours.

01/10/19 With the detox, I detoxes myself with the help of valium. Currently on day 2.

05/20/19 I'm in an endless cycle. Drink take valium. When I have exceeded the doseand started running out drink again. Part of the reason I am on valium is to decrease anxiety. Because of my age they can't give me more bipolar meds. Decrease anxiety and my bipolar meds settle down. I don't think drinking is working anymore for me. It seems to increase anxiety.

YESTERDAY: At least now I have my medication. My doctor upped my Valium because of the shaking. Feeling scared and anxious.

Ladysadie

Sweeti, if you continue to "do your own thing" without professional support and detox, you run the risk of never waking up. I hope you have your affairs in order for that is a huge possibility in your case. Everyone here is in your corner trying to get through to you how important it is for you to get help. Obviously the way you are choosing to handle your quit is not working and as others have pointed out, your problem is chronic and dire. Please get the help you need.

This is from online Alcohol.org.
What are the effects of mixing Valium with alcohol?

Confusion
Disorientation
Dizziness
Loss of consciousness
Brain damage
Sedation
Stumbling
Nausea
Coma
Death
Nausea, diarrhea, and changes in appetite
Restlessness or excitement
Slowed or difficult breathing
Unusual behaviors
Memory problems
Drowsiness
A depressed feeling
Decreased mental ability
Slowed motor function
Poor coordination

How Does Valium Interact with Alcohol?

Some CNS depressants work on similar brain systems. Two of these drugs, alcohol and benzodiazepines, like Valium, act on the gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) receptors in the brain, leading to very similar effects. Valium has often been used as a medication-assisted therapy (MAT) to treat alcohol withdrawal symptoms because these drugs affect the same area of the brain.

However, this also means that combining the two substances can be very dangerous and lead to overdose.

Most benzodiazepines, including Valium, are no longer prescribed for regular use for longer than two weeks.

Medications like Valium can rapidly lead to physical dependence, so taking the drug daily for more than two weeks is not recommended except for very specific conditions like some seizure disorders.

Taking Valium in larger amounts than prescribed, or without a prescription, is abuse of this drug. Because the substance acts on the GABA receptors, it can cause intoxication, euphoria, and relaxation, which may lead to addiction.

Other side effects of Valium include:

Drowsiness or sleepiness
Dizziness
Physical weakness
Nausea, diarrhea, and changes in appetite
Restlessness or excitement
Blurry vision

Alcohol’s side effects are very similar to those associated with Valium intoxication.
Loss of physical coordination, leading to stumbling and slurred speech
Relaxation and euphoria
Lowered inhibitions
Raised blood pressure
Memory lapses or blackouts
Blurry or double vision
These effects are induced by the substance binding to the GABA receptors.

Both alcohol and benzodiazepines like Valium increase the bioavailability of intoxicating drugs, and when these two substances are taken together, they increase the other’s bioavailability, which increases the risk of an overdose or poisoning.

Overdose from Mixing Depressant Drugs

Many overdoses involve a combination of benzodiazepines and alcohol.
Because consuming alcohol is legal for many, the overlap of recreational alcohol consumption and other forms of substance abuse is huge.

People who take Valium to manage anxiety or related mood disorders put themselves at risk for worsening their symptoms when they combine the drug with alcohol. Valium in particular is a long-acting benzodiazepine, so it is easier to take this drug as prescribed and then accidentally drink alcohol on top of the medication, putting the person at risk of serious side effects or overdose. The risks of this increase in people who abuse alcohol and begin to abuse other substances like benzodiazepines for nonmedical reasons. Increasing GABA in the brain puts a person at greater risk for sedation, which can reduce oxygen intake and change blood flow, leading to amnesia or blackouts, which can harm memory long-term.

If a person suddenly stops drinking and/or consuming Valium, they are at much greater risk for life-threatening side effects, especially seizures. People who want to stop abusing these drugs, especially in combination, must seek medical oversight to safely detox. Since Valium acts on the body for a long time, which is one of the reasons it is an appealing MAT for alcohol withdrawal, a clinician may develop a taper of the benzodiazepine, to ease the body off physical dependence without increasing the risk of dangerous side effects. During detox, the person will stop drinking completely.

Once the person’s body is no longer dependent on Valium and alcohol to regulate GABA and other neurotransmitters, a rehabilitation program can help the person change behaviors around intoxicating drugs. Evidence-based therapy helps to reduce the risk of relapse back to substance abuse, and helps the person learn to manage stress and triggers without taking drugs.

Sweetichick2

I am just thinking twice before I blo 3 or 4 thousand. Plus I think I am too physically unwell. Today I spent nearly the whole day in bed.

Sweetichick2

Thanks for all that information. I would go one week on alcohol only and then one week of Valium for withdrawals. Sometimes I would take two and end up at the pub later anyway.. So I was mixing them sometimes. Thanks for the warning.

gypsytears

Saving your own life isn’t wasting money Sweeti. And being physically unwell is more than enough... it’s the reason to go! You are worth it. Please make those calls and get yourself help .

Sweetichick2

Thanks for the reminder. I know I have been bouncing between the two. My psychiatrist knows I am in a cycle. Right now I am worried about the alcohol
That is what is killing me. I will mention your concerns at my next appointment.

Dascha

It isn't blowing it if it saves your life. Think of all the money blown on booze that just gets you sicker and sicker....Or get on a government waiting list and call them everyday to check in...let them know you are ready to go.

I've seen some pretty physically uwell people in rehab...that's why we are there. But you need support and time away from making bad choices. That's when you can get to thinking clearly and getting your health back. You don't have to do this on your own..

I'm rooting for you! Take care...

NerfThis

You are currently an active drinker who drinks each time pay day arrives and until the money runs out. You spend a full day or more each week clearing out alcohol bottles from multiple rooms, so that has to be a lot of bottles. I wonder how much money that is in total every month. Alcohol is very expensive. Alcohol is killing you. Is that not classed as blowing money?

Sweetichick2

You do have a point Nerf. I have to prove financial hardship to the super office to even apply for the money. That will be hard considering I spend so much on alcohol. It’s not like I need the money for house repairs

Sweetichick2

On another note it is the beginning of day 5. It’s 2am. Might try to sleep.

KissMyTiara

The thing is you are under the influence every day. You always say this is day 2 or 5 or whatever. So you aren't drinking alcohol. But you are abusing Valium on the other days. You have admitted that. And you have admitted to taking them both together. If you want to destroy yourself that is your choice, but you drive to the bottle shop, to the pub, to doctors and who knows where else. You say you think you might have a seizure, you fall and get concussions etc. Do you know all the other people you put in danger when you drive. Whether valium is prescribed or not doesn't invalidate you take too much and are DWI. That is just not fair to innocent people in your path. Your luck is going to run out either for yourself or someone else.

Fusion

Sweeti, in the U.K., from what I understand, Valium wouldn’t be prescribed for someone with alcohol issues, because of the risk of concurrent addictive use. Save for a few pills for a few days for alcohol withdrawal.

Have you advised your Valium prescribing psychiatrist how much you drink? A few years ago you mentioned 40 drinks a day, then recently 24 drinks. That’s 3 to 5 bottles of red wine. Factoring in the fact as you say, you don’t drink every single day, and after a few days, you use the Valium ‘off-prescription’ for alcohol withdrawals, when they’re prescribed for anxiety attacks. The propensity for kindling and the ramifications are huge.

My personal opinion is that a Moderator should step in and provide you with final, definitive advice, after you’ve spent over three years on SR, repeating the same, potentially life-threatening cycle of alcohol and drug abuse (via Valium-benzodiazepine). Despite enormous input from SR Mods and members, providing their experience, which you seem to completely ignore. Your physical symptoms as disclosed by you are more than worrying.

Your threads are making me feel uneasy, almost as though the responders are giving you attention in a fashion that’s causing you to feel you’re not that bad, because you’re posting on a stop drinking website, and you’ve received replies, and responded to them, so you’re doing something for your addiction, right? Wrong, the truth appears to be that you’re doing nothing, whatsoever different, than more than three years ago.

Time to take action, Sweeti, because as I’ve said before, you deserve to that for yourself.

gypsytears

The hardship is your drug addiction (Valium) and alcoholism forcing the need to go to inpatient rehab. Stop spending money on alcohol.

Fusion

Sweeti, you and only you know the truth of your addictions. The good news is, the truth can set you free. When you accept your problem, then take action, whether seeking support, or whatever it takes, to step on the path to freedom from addiction. Do you want freedom, Sweeti?

MyLittleHorsie

One of the other Mom's at dance, her exhusband was in a motor vehicle accident, distracted driving, not him, the other party. He was in a coma for many months, is wheel chair bound and has a feeding tube. His daughter makes all his decisions, this is a really nice family. The daughter was a teenager when this happened. Her mom helps, but she is sole decision maker for her dad. There is money and subsidies to hire help, eventually it might run out. The point is, it will likely be your children making your decisions. Do not do that to them. Act like a mother and get help, 3 grand is nothing compared to the next time you fall, or have a stroke or injure yourself in a seizure. It's nothing compared to your poor daughters having to tell a potential suitor he/she can't meet you because you are in a nursing home with wet brain. Do you know what it looks like? Muttering to yourself, crapping yourself then using the crap to write on walls. Get help, do whatever song and dance you have to, to get the money. You didn't know you had lice earlier this year. You shuffle, fall down, probably mutter to yourself, were lousy, didn't recognize your own child, where is bottom? What is 3 or 4k to not have to live like that anymore.
Thete is no shame in admitting you need help.

suki44883

Sweeti, you have the right to live your life any way you choose. If you want to drink yourself to death, that is your prerogative. But please, be honest with the many people here who have been trying to help you all these years. Most importantly, be honest with yourself.

How is using money from your super for rehab blowing it? What is the money for if not to save your life? What good is having it if you drop dead one day from drink?

All the lame excuses you give for not being willing to go to AA or rehab are the exact reasons you should go. Do you want to be found dead on your floor after three days or a week?

tomsteve

i had a 2 1/2 year fight with cancer. pretty dam close to a million spent fighting it and keeping me alive.
money spent helping someone fight a horrible,TREATABLE disease like alcoholism is blowing money means spending money to fight a horrible TREATABLE disease like cancer is blowing money then?

youre too physically unwell !?!?!? is there a physical requirement for rehab in australia???
honestly,sweeti- dont you think these are more excuses to not get help?