Dee74

I'm sorry you feel things are negative here.

When I first got here, some posters really ticked me off - how could they know what I needed without knowing me or my life, or my friends?

Who were these blunt gruff know it alls?

12-13 years on, I can see the wisdom in a lot of the things they were saying back then.

I do feel this is a life and death struggle, but that being said I'm not looking to irritate or agitate anyone Oct

Just sharing my experience that I couldn't live a drinkers life if I wanted to stay sober.

I'd go back to drinking - sometimes sooner sometimes later but always.


only there was no 'they,' just me.

I wanted to change as little as possible,but clueless as to why nothing changed with my drinking.

You're free to ignore that advice if you like - you can treat them as words on a screen - no worries

I do really genuinely hope that whatever you do, you make it and live a sober life .

I also genuinely hope you stick around - I think there's value in a bunch of folks who have your best interests so much at heart they risk saying things you don't always want to hear.

peace out
D

AAPJ

Hi October. I can see why you think it leans negative. Announcing a quit date in advance absolutely drives this board nuts.

For me this is the best recovery focused forum I have found so far. I realize it's far from perfect but I am certainly not perfect either.

It is helpful to realize that the most active/dedicated posters here had to go to war so to speak in order to quit drinking and they see you doing things that did not work for them. They really are trying to help.

If you find a better forum please PM the site to me.

NerfThis

I was most definitely not trying to blast you for anything you said.

I was merely asking whether telling people you are doing Stoptober (a temporary break from drinking) possibly meant you might not mentally have committed to giving up alcohol. I have done Dry January more times than I can remember. Ridiculously easy every single time and I knew at the end of it, drink was waiting for me. You're absolutely right. You don't have to tell people why you quit. I didn't. I only told my husband, but I DID tell everyone I don't drink anymore for good. By announcing to all that it's part of a temporary thing, you may unknowingly be setting yourself up for a fall at the end of it. I didn't say it's guaranteed. I merely wondered if it could potentially be the case.

You did say in previous posts that you absolutely had to drink at your party to not let people down. You said you did it because of other's efforts, so I merely wondered if that meant after this break, in the event some 'Must drink' occasion comes up, you'll be vulnerable to it. 'Can't let -insert name here- down! It's her 30th and there will be Unicorn drinks!'

All just questions. No blasting. Just basing my thoughts on how you've described your story so far.

Please also PM me the name of a better forum if you find one.

1stOct2019

umm no, I doubt that I will end up in a similar situation, I do not really go out to parties and certainly not large ones. Perhaps I should have clarified, the party which my friends had organised was four of us, and they had gone to a lot of effort, so yes - I did not want to let them down. I don't regret it at all, and don't really see why I should. I find this whole thing quite patronising.

Went to my sisters for the weekend, her and her boyfriend had a few drinks, I did not partake, still going well. Bring on more people saying it's just because I've told a couple of people that I'm doing Stoptober. Patronising again.

NerfThis

Fair enough.
Best of luck with your sobriety.