Glad to be here
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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Originally Posted by August252015 
Hope this is day 2 sober!
What are your upcoming social plans? .
What are your upcoming social plans? .
Next weekend seeing my sister.
Generally working late at the moment during the week.
Day two seems OK - no urges yet, but i'm expecting to get them strong on friday evening. Ready for it.
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Originally Posted by 1stOct2019
...no urges yet, but i'm expecting to get them strong on friday evening. Ready for it.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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Still no bother really, but i was in the supermarket earlier and decided to browse non-alcoholic wine (i've had it before, it's quite nice) and while in that section there was an 8% wine on the shelf right there next to the non-alcohol ones, and just for a sec i thought oh, i COULD get that one... then shut down the thought quickly - it was weird.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
1st,
Glad things are going well. There are lots of strong opinions around here regarding non-alcoholic beverages...mostly pretty negative just due to the association. I’ve not tried it because, after all, I didn’t drink all that wine just to savor the taste.
Your post reminded me of how I would avert my eyes to avoid even looking in the wine section in the early days. It was quite a while before I could push my cart down that particular aisle. I chalked it up to the purchase itself being part of my drinking ritual, so it was just another behavior pattern I had to break.
Weird indeed. The mind is strange and fascinating.
Keep going!
-bora
Glad things are going well. There are lots of strong opinions around here regarding non-alcoholic beverages...mostly pretty negative just due to the association. I’ve not tried it because, after all, I didn’t drink all that wine just to savor the taste.
Your post reminded me of how I would avert my eyes to avoid even looking in the wine section in the early days. It was quite a while before I could push my cart down that particular aisle. I chalked it up to the purchase itself being part of my drinking ritual, so it was just another behavior pattern I had to break.
Weird indeed. The mind is strange and fascinating.
Keep going!
-bora
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Join Date: Sep 2019
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Yes I was coming on the forum today expecting a lot more gib for the non-alcoholic wine purchase.
Thing is I really don't have a sweet tooth - these things like "Shleur" are just too sickly for me, i prefer a dry flavour ... and there's only so much tonic water combinations you can drink. Fruit tea is OK, but again, I get bored and don't like many of the flavours. I can't drink tea and coffee past 7pm and don't like decaff! So if you have any recommendations I'm pleased to receive them.
Just to wind anyone up further, I actually quite like non-alcoholic beer too, and my dad has been on the non-alcoholic beer for about 3 years now.
Thing is I really don't have a sweet tooth - these things like "Shleur" are just too sickly for me, i prefer a dry flavour ... and there's only so much tonic water combinations you can drink. Fruit tea is OK, but again, I get bored and don't like many of the flavours. I can't drink tea and coffee past 7pm and don't like decaff! So if you have any recommendations I'm pleased to receive them.
Just to wind anyone up further, I actually quite like non-alcoholic beer too, and my dad has been on the non-alcoholic beer for about 3 years now.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
Wine, water, and coffee were pretty much it for me. I do drink some green tea now just for the perceived health benefits, but since wine is no more I stick to water.
However...I eat a literal crap ton of fruit. I quit during grape season, and raised eyebrows when I plopped down 40 bucks for a mountain of pick-your-own (frozen grapes are delicious). Watermelon, any melon, apples, asian pears, oranges...I still can’t get enough. I say all that just to acknowledge that is probably the reason why a bland beverage diet is ok with me.
I wouldn’t be so bold as to issue a pronouncement against non-alcoholic beverages, but since the smell of wine send a particular dormant part of my brain a ziggin’ it’s not a chance I would take. I do think that limiting beverages and foods with lots of added sugars is a good thing in early sobriety, but others find cakes and cookies helpful treats so different strokes and all.
Glad to hear you’re chugging along. That’s life after all...day after day of doing the right thing. It’s not always exciting, but it sure is rewarding.
-bora
However...I eat a literal crap ton of fruit. I quit during grape season, and raised eyebrows when I plopped down 40 bucks for a mountain of pick-your-own (frozen grapes are delicious). Watermelon, any melon, apples, asian pears, oranges...I still can’t get enough. I say all that just to acknowledge that is probably the reason why a bland beverage diet is ok with me.
I wouldn’t be so bold as to issue a pronouncement against non-alcoholic beverages, but since the smell of wine send a particular dormant part of my brain a ziggin’ it’s not a chance I would take. I do think that limiting beverages and foods with lots of added sugars is a good thing in early sobriety, but others find cakes and cookies helpful treats so different strokes and all.
Glad to hear you’re chugging along. That’s life after all...day after day of doing the right thing. It’s not always exciting, but it sure is rewarding.
-bora
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Thanks !
but I'm not a fan of fruit either - gahh! see it's the non-sweet tooth in action. I eat tonnes of vegetables, ad I do like tomatoes which are technically fruits, but any actual fruit such as melon, I just never go there.
I'm on the Shleur again tonight, and just had water when out for a meal this evening. meh!!! Not promising not to "treat" myself to a non-alcoholic wine in future. There's a non alc Prosecco called "No-secco" which I found particularly amusing.
but I'm not a fan of fruit either - gahh! see it's the non-sweet tooth in action. I eat tonnes of vegetables, ad I do like tomatoes which are technically fruits, but any actual fruit such as melon, I just never go there.
I'm on the Shleur again tonight, and just had water when out for a meal this evening. meh!!! Not promising not to "treat" myself to a non-alcoholic wine in future. There's a non alc Prosecco called "No-secco" which I found particularly amusing.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 20
Hi there, how is your first week going? I started drinking San Pelligrinos, and they have some that are much lower in sugar in the tall skinny cans. If you like more dry tasting things, maybe you could muddle some herbs, lemon, and cucumber or something and put soda water with it? do you like coconut water?
Just curious, have you considered going to AA meetings? To me meetings were so helpful, especially right in the very beginning, maybe it would be helpful for you too. I needed insights from people to reinforce why this is the right path and feel supported. They have shown me the acceptance and encouragement that I desperately needed. It helps to have a group of people who understand.
It's also a little routine that helps transition when you are first trying to fill that newly opened up schedule
I had to try several different meetings before I picked the ones I want to go back to regularly.
I also drank mostly alone (and secretly), in the end. I preferred it to being with others because others knew I had a problem, so they'd try to get me to slow down or stop after so many drinks, which i of course couldn't stand (how dare they!), and like a wild animal i would not be caged! So I spent time alone with my alcohol in the comfort of my home, alone.
but i found that i LOVE being home now, sober. I might be bordering on hermit if it weren't for meetings and work I'm nowhere near perfect but definitely getting oodles more accomplished, and feeling more inspired. Developing the identity that i had been hiding. There is so much to do in life ... and we have that freedom now.
I'll stop rambling but one other thing to comment on with the 12 steps. The 1st step is basically to think of the ways in which your life became unmanageable, and how you were powerless over alcohol. In other words, why do you want to quit drinking? What about it was not working for you? Writing this down is an excellent reminder of why you're choosing this path.
good luck!!!
Just curious, have you considered going to AA meetings? To me meetings were so helpful, especially right in the very beginning, maybe it would be helpful for you too. I needed insights from people to reinforce why this is the right path and feel supported. They have shown me the acceptance and encouragement that I desperately needed. It helps to have a group of people who understand.
It's also a little routine that helps transition when you are first trying to fill that newly opened up schedule
I had to try several different meetings before I picked the ones I want to go back to regularly. I also drank mostly alone (and secretly), in the end. I preferred it to being with others because others knew I had a problem, so they'd try to get me to slow down or stop after so many drinks, which i of course couldn't stand (how dare they!), and like a wild animal i would not be caged! So I spent time alone with my alcohol in the comfort of my home, alone.
but i found that i LOVE being home now, sober. I might be bordering on hermit if it weren't for meetings and work
I'm nowhere near perfect but definitely getting oodles more accomplished, and feeling more inspired. Developing the identity that i had been hiding. There is so much to do in life ... and we have that freedom now. I'll stop rambling but one other thing to comment on with the 12 steps. The 1st step is basically to think of the ways in which your life became unmanageable, and how you were powerless over alcohol. In other words, why do you want to quit drinking? What about it was not working for you? Writing this down is an excellent reminder of why you're choosing this path.
good luck!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Really good post from Adria!!! Step one- whatever anyone calls it personally or in a program - is the bottom line for each of us. We can't drink - normally, safely, permanently.
I did things like take only my wallet into the grocery, and keep the receipt and show it to one of my parents when I left the store. No way I could sneak a wine bottle of ANY 0% into a bag. Or I'd have to steal it for it not to be on a receipt. Like I said about social stuff, I chose a lot of "conservative" choices at the beginning.
I eat a ton of fruit and I eat sweets. I don't think NA bevs are a good idea at the start; it's an ongoing "discussion" as we go on and you'll see it pop up here a decent amount. I drink one at one of the restaurants in the group I work for, maybe 3-4x a yr, and that's a unique situation as I lead the recovery group that our owner started. I know everyone and no alcohol will ever be in a NA bev served at those places, or to me. Stuff like keeping wine glasses at home (we don't - why would we?), what containers can hold alcohol (ANY vessel, if you are like I was), etc....personal choices.
You're hopefully at day 6. Let us know.
I did things like take only my wallet into the grocery, and keep the receipt and show it to one of my parents when I left the store. No way I could sneak a wine bottle of ANY 0% into a bag. Or I'd have to steal it for it not to be on a receipt. Like I said about social stuff, I chose a lot of "conservative" choices at the beginning.
I eat a ton of fruit and I eat sweets. I don't think NA bevs are a good idea at the start; it's an ongoing "discussion" as we go on and you'll see it pop up here a decent amount. I drink one at one of the restaurants in the group I work for, maybe 3-4x a yr, and that's a unique situation as I lead the recovery group that our owner started. I know everyone and no alcohol will ever be in a NA bev served at those places, or to me. Stuff like keeping wine glasses at home (we don't - why would we?), what containers can hold alcohol (ANY vessel, if you are like I was), etc....personal choices.
You're hopefully at day 6. Let us know.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 14
Yes thanks Adria - good advice, I appreciate that.
Thanks August, yes it's 6 days 11 hours according to my app thingy... and I woke up this morning and was like "zziinngg!!!" I REALLY felt so good! (Mind I did take a sleeping aid that bedtime).
So, humm today I tidied the whole house after work, yesterday I worked 9.5 hours (because I wanted to!) Saturday bike ride, On Sunday climbing, then went to the cinema and (shock horror!) for dinner afterwards with my mate, I was not even tempted to order a drink, weird... I was not expecting this to be the way... I guess it's going to get harder, once the whole "sense of security" thing kicks in.
Cue the haters, but I have agreed to a "pint" with a colleague after work tomorrow, I am not anxious about how that will go, I don't expect to go anywhere near ordering anything alcoholic... but I'll fill you in afterwards if I get the heebie-geebies.
PS Coconut water tastes like mould to me! Blurrgh.
Still trying to find drinks, I've brought more teas (spiced ones, with tumeric etc) and just the same old Shleur. My app thingy claims I;ve saved £38 so far... I beg to differ!! I've spent to much on Shleur now - hahahaaaa
Thanks August, yes it's 6 days 11 hours according to my app thingy... and I woke up this morning and was like "zziinngg!!!" I REALLY felt so good! (Mind I did take a sleeping aid that bedtime).
So, humm today I tidied the whole house after work, yesterday I worked 9.5 hours (because I wanted to!) Saturday bike ride, On Sunday climbing, then went to the cinema and (shock horror!) for dinner afterwards with my mate, I was not even tempted to order a drink, weird... I was not expecting this to be the way... I guess it's going to get harder, once the whole "sense of security" thing kicks in.
Cue the haters, but I have agreed to a "pint" with a colleague after work tomorrow, I am not anxious about how that will go, I don't expect to go anywhere near ordering anything alcoholic... but I'll fill you in afterwards if I get the heebie-geebies.
PS Coconut water tastes like mould to me! Blurrgh.
Still trying to find drinks, I've brought more teas (spiced ones, with tumeric etc) and just the same old Shleur. My app thingy claims I;ve saved £38 so far... I beg to differ!! I've spent to much on Shleur now - hahahaaaa
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
You will definitely find a lot of people here in disagreement with meeting friends for a 'pint' so early on in sobriety.
I still socialized that early on. I still went for meals with people where they'd all drink, I hosted parties, went out for dinner with my husband where he'd drink. My house still has a cupboard full of alcohol. Luckily, I have so far managed over 14 months of sobriety despite taking those risks early on, but i'm sure that isn't a safe way to do things for everyone. We're all different.
Last year I decided that I was no longer a drinker and I made this known to my friends. Alcohol was dangerous for me, a negative factor in my life therefore I knew I couldn't drink it again. After your party, you were describing how fun and cute the cocktails were, so is alcohol still somewhat glamourized in your mind?
Are you still giving people the impression you're just doing this for Stoptober, or do they know this is forever? Maybe the fact you're not mentally committing to this being forever is the reason it's so easy for you?
I still socialized that early on. I still went for meals with people where they'd all drink, I hosted parties, went out for dinner with my husband where he'd drink. My house still has a cupboard full of alcohol. Luckily, I have so far managed over 14 months of sobriety despite taking those risks early on, but i'm sure that isn't a safe way to do things for everyone. We're all different.
Last year I decided that I was no longer a drinker and I made this known to my friends. Alcohol was dangerous for me, a negative factor in my life therefore I knew I couldn't drink it again. After your party, you were describing how fun and cute the cocktails were, so is alcohol still somewhat glamourized in your mind?
Are you still giving people the impression you're just doing this for Stoptober, or do they know this is forever? Maybe the fact you're not mentally committing to this being forever is the reason it's so easy for you?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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In the first week of my sobriety I went over to my mates place - he was my drinking buddy and smoking weed buddy and I convinced myself I wouldn't change my life and become a hermit just because I'd quit.
My recovery needed to be road tested to prove its efficacy, right?
Well I got out of their sober and clean but it was the most difficult day of my recovery.
The only thing that kept me in recovery that day was my fear that my next relapse might be my last.
I never did that again.There'were plenty of tests ahead for my recovery without me putting myself into one.
I didn't stay home like a hermit - but I did avoid places where alcohol would be, and I did think about everything I did, and what recovery related precautions I would need to take.
I waited until I knew that nothing or no one could sway me in my desire to be sober before I put myself in 'wet' situations' again.
I decided that day that avoiding alcohol and drinking wasn't a cowards way out, or unrealistic, or giving into fear - it was safeguarding my recovery - something that was very precious to me and something I wanted - and needed to 'stick'.
I believe that cherishing my recovery has taken me from drinking every day to nearly 13 years sober.
Thats my experience.
Its possible your experience may prove different - but please.... don't call me (or anyone else here ) a 'hater ' simply because my experience is not what you want to hear.
D
My recovery needed to be road tested to prove its efficacy, right?
Well I got out of their sober and clean but it was the most difficult day of my recovery.
The only thing that kept me in recovery that day was my fear that my next relapse might be my last.
I never did that again.There'were plenty of tests ahead for my recovery without me putting myself into one.
I didn't stay home like a hermit - but I did avoid places where alcohol would be, and I did think about everything I did, and what recovery related precautions I would need to take.
I waited until I knew that nothing or no one could sway me in my desire to be sober before I put myself in 'wet' situations' again.
I decided that day that avoiding alcohol and drinking wasn't a cowards way out, or unrealistic, or giving into fear - it was safeguarding my recovery - something that was very precious to me and something I wanted - and needed to 'stick'.
I believe that cherishing my recovery has taken me from drinking every day to nearly 13 years sober.
Thats my experience.
Its possible your experience may prove different - but please.... don't call me (or anyone else here ) a 'hater ' simply because my experience is not what you want to hear.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Yeahhhh everyone knows what Imma say here. every.single.thing I did in early sobriety was what would take me further away from a drink not closer to it. There are many ways to phrase this approach, one being that there is no good reason - nor necessary one!- for any kind of test. Which is what going to a bar on day 6 or 7 is.
Cool about the energy for a good work day! I sure couldn't do that at day 6, but when I could in the second, third and so on months it felt great.
Glad you are here- hoping you add concrete and specific recovery focused activities not just normal people ones to your plan.
Cool about the energy for a good work day! I sure couldn't do that at day 6, but when I could in the second, third and so on months it felt great.
Glad you are here- hoping you add concrete and specific recovery focused activities not just normal people ones to your plan.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Sleeping pills and hanging out in bars with colleagues after work.
Not the conventional program of recovery but it might work. Probably will be okay. Tomorrow.
Is it worth it? That's up to you.
What's the old AA saying? "Hang out in the barber shop long enough and you're bound to get a haircut."
Not the conventional program of recovery but it might work. Probably will be okay. Tomorrow.
Is it worth it? That's up to you.
What's the old AA saying? "Hang out in the barber shop long enough and you're bound to get a haircut."
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I'm just going to chime in on the sleep meds. From day one, my psychiatrist has prescribed them for me. I did take them nightly as directed - now (3+ yrs) I take "as needed." Which for me (discussed with her) means when I really need a night's sleep and am willing to go thru the extensive sweats they cause.
As far as meds go, it's not a simple thing for me in some ways but I do take different ones. Some on a continuous likely permanent basis. Others situational, like with post back surgery pain meds. My commitment from day one sober was to 1 have a good team of drs 2 be honest 3 discuss 4 do what they say. I work a very strong AA program and intent and honesty as far as certain meds go is essential for me.
As far as meds go, it's not a simple thing for me in some ways but I do take different ones. Some on a continuous likely permanent basis. Others situational, like with post back surgery pain meds. My commitment from day one sober was to 1 have a good team of drs 2 be honest 3 discuss 4 do what they say. I work a very strong AA program and intent and honesty as far as certain meds go is essential for me.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Originally Posted by August252015
...My commitment from day one sober was to 1 have a good team of drs 2 be honest 3 discuss 4 do what they say. I work a very strong AA program and intent and honesty as far as certain meds go is essential for me.
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 14
checking in!
Well I guess we're all different. I don't feel I have just "road tested" my recovery, I feel like I had a nice catch-up with a friend of mine who I have not spoken to for ages, got to blow off some steam and chat. It was nice! The most shocking thing was the look on his face when I bought myself a non-alc ginger beer, he looked shocked and said "i've never seen you not get a pint" i was like "yeah, that's why I'm not drinking now!" it was weird because I still don't feel deprived of it, or even a slight itch.
I don't see a problem with saying I'm on Stoptober either - to be honest, my sobriety is none of their business, and if telling them it's Stoptober shuts down the conversation quickly for now, then I am really happy with that. I rarely would meet friends out anyway, so it's literally going to be a couple of people who are enjoying their own drink at the time so i'm not about to give them a great lecture.
I thought this was a support group - it feels a little like I'm just getting blasted for my choices, despite being nowhere near wanting a drink so far.
Also the sleeping pills are on the recommendation of a book I am reading called "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" they are non-addictive and help to form a sleep routine in the early phase.
I may look about for a new forum. This seems mostly negative!
Well I guess we're all different. I don't feel I have just "road tested" my recovery, I feel like I had a nice catch-up with a friend of mine who I have not spoken to for ages, got to blow off some steam and chat. It was nice! The most shocking thing was the look on his face when I bought myself a non-alc ginger beer, he looked shocked and said "i've never seen you not get a pint" i was like "yeah, that's why I'm not drinking now!" it was weird because I still don't feel deprived of it, or even a slight itch.
I don't see a problem with saying I'm on Stoptober either - to be honest, my sobriety is none of their business, and if telling them it's Stoptober shuts down the conversation quickly for now, then I am really happy with that. I rarely would meet friends out anyway, so it's literally going to be a couple of people who are enjoying their own drink at the time so i'm not about to give them a great lecture.
I thought this was a support group - it feels a little like I'm just getting blasted for my choices, despite being nowhere near wanting a drink so far.
Also the sleeping pills are on the recommendation of a book I am reading called "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" they are non-addictive and help to form a sleep routine in the early phase.
I may look about for a new forum. This seems mostly negative!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
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I didn't like questions from folks at the start, at least not til I considered that maybe people were trying to help. That's how we are around here- helpful and supportive, from a whole lot of experience and specific ideas and thoughts and feelings....you will find people at every point in the spectrum of sober time (and truly, each of us is in the same spot, which is NOW)....and with lots of ways they did it.
The bottom line is we stopped drinking and stay that way. I have found I have to have IRL support and I also have a great group here. Hope you find the same - if you don't, hope you take care and make good choices on your start to a sober life so you keep going. It's the best thing I've ever done, and I couldn't have gotten started or keep going without things others taught me.
The bottom line is we stopped drinking and stay that way. I have found I have to have IRL support and I also have a great group here. Hope you find the same - if you don't, hope you take care and make good choices on your start to a sober life so you keep going. It's the best thing I've ever done, and I couldn't have gotten started or keep going without things others taught me.
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