Pressmetilihurt

I quit drinking. 20 days. I quit smoking. I don't want either of those be ack. Yuk. But what do I look forward to? Nothing feels exciting.

Delilah1

What do you enjoy Press? What types of hobbies/interests did you have before alcohol?

Some of my favorite things to do are: go for walks, read, baths, cheer on my kids.

Natom

Your mind is on a completely different track than it was when you were drinking. In similar situations I've had to sit down and write down the stuff I like and then build from that.

So I remember putting 'writing' down and it ended up going on from there:

Writing --> Writing Groups --> Night classes --> Online writing assessments --> Freelance work

I did end up doing some freelance writing work after doing several online assessments of my capability. You have to start with the things you like and build on them. Try and do it so you grow your social circle. If you have a hobby see if theres a local class or group that you can go to. The benefit of that is there'll be people there that don't know you and you can make new friends.

I hope you find your excitement..

Natom

Dee74

Your addicted self wants you to believe nothing will ever be fun again...but thats just not true,

Do you think any of use would stay sober if we thought we had nothing to look forward to? no way

I'm not saying this is me every day...but remember when you were a kid and you'd wake up and spring out of bed cos the day was full of promise and things to do?

You can & will feel that way again - give it a little time Press....you're doing all the right things.

D

nez

I look forward to living a life free from the bondage of alcohol. I am no longer a slave, what could be better than that! Life may not be an adrenaline rush of constant pleasure, but it is as good as I let it be.

Callas

One has to work hard on recovery. Not drinking is not recovery. It’s just being sober. I have to work at finding some enjoyment every single day. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. Throughout I know one thing: I can never drink again.

b0glerd69

I took up golf again. I used to play as a kid. Now, if I don't get a round in per week, I feel I'm missing a limb. Not for everyone, I know, but an example of a hobby, enjoyed in my youth, re-kindled after sobriety in middle age.

August252015

Took me longer (much!) than 3 wks to even begin to find interest in anything, Press. Like a lot of stuff, it came in time- and over these past 3+ years has come in spades. Sure, some days are "blah" and these past three wks as I've come out of the most intense physical recovery from back surgery but am still largely "stuck" at home I struggle with some boredom (no more coloring books pleeeaaaase). But life is full.

I know you've been struggling. I hope our various suggestions can be useful- I had to just do what people said even if it sounded like it wouldn't work for quite awhile in early sobriety. Keep going.

Pressmetilihurt

Thanks. It helps to know it takes time. I always think I'm broken when I'm just in the long game. Stuff I used to love. Playing sports. Cycling. Learning guitar. Art museums. Camping. Dunno. I had a motorcycle in college. I miss that.

DriGuy

I think you're aiming much to high. Why does it have to be exciting? You weren't worried about excitement when you were drinking, which is about the least exciting thing I can think of. Now you want roller coasters?

ChloeRose63

Now is the time to start making one of your dreams come true! Alcohol has taken away something that you really wanted to accomplish. Think back and recall what you never had the chance to do because addiction got in the way. Don't be afraid to get out there and experience life sober!

AnvilheadII

a common symptom of early sobriety is anhedonia. the seeming "loss" of pleasure. actually it's just the brain wiring drying out. the synapses got hijacked by the >>substance of choice<< we kept pouring into our bodies.

nothing will replace what the drugs/alcohol DID to us, but once we no longer rely on artificial sensations, or actual lack of sensation, we can start to enjoy life is smaller, safer, saner ways.

go outside and watch the day begin, the sunrise, the birdies chirping. or listen to the rain. take a dog for a walk. take yourself for a walk. play games with your kid. try a new recipe. put fresh, fluffy linens on the bed. small pleasures.

abgator

This is very well said.

DriGuy

I wouldn't downplay the role "not drinking" plays in recovery. It's arguably very important. Sociological studies that measure success rates in recovery rely on measuring periods of time without consuming alcohol, usually 5 years after treatment. Other unspecified qualities that must be present in recovery are not useful indicators until they can be identified and measured.

What actually constitutes recovery, whether it's abstinence for 5 years, 10 years, life long, or having to meet other more nebulous conditions will always remain up for debate.

Who is in recovery and who is not remains an idiosyncratic judgement that cannot be universally agreed on. But sobriety as an indicator of recovery is an awfully good place to start.

FeelingGreat

You're going to have a boost to your finances. Treat yourself to some experience you'd really enjoy.

Sober369

Great information here. I have four weeks today, and am wanting to find something to get interested in. I have considered AA, because I think it would help with my recovery and because I want to make sober friends.
But, I'm also thinking of something where I'll get some exercise. I keep hearing how important that is.
It would be really helpful, though, if it was something where I could include my puppy. He is only 5 months old, and needs a lot of attention.
It's great to read others' ideas.
Also, I get what you meant by 'not drinking is not recovery', Callas. If I just don't drink, and don't do anything toward my recovery, I will either be sober but not happy, or more likely will drink again soon.

August252015

VERY briefly - not drinking is the critical start. Recovery is a lifestyle.

Back to the OP -
Press, DriGuy made a really good point above - I had to learn that "normal" was good, pleasurable and "enough." So weird when used to what I learned was drama in 99% of my life! Among the things that take time, this was a big one - I wondered how long - IF- some interests would return. Cooking is one - it had become about everything but food, if you will - and I just had no interest in picking it up again as it seemed foreign if I wasn't going to drink and then not eat whatever great thing I made. Eventually, my now husband and I started making dinner again and it's a routine we like.

Hang in there - that "not drinking" thing is indeed the most important one, today.

Oh! And I don't know about you but the skin crawling, time crawling thing was maddening in the beginning. I just had to get thru it and some distractions helped, others didn't, but I had to keep going from one to another as I gained an attention span!

DriGuy

You will be surrounded by people who are sober or trying to get sober, and some of them will become friends, and that was really important in my recovery.

There are other things you can get in AA that I don't think are commonly found in the real world such as tidbits of information and insight from people with first hand experience. Many find the steps to be the most important part. But that's not all.

The things I found most important came in discussions specific to my needs and (ahem) shortcomings, from people who had actually been there and solved those problems. This is not something you experience in every meeting. You might go to a year of meetings before one of these major events happen, but they can be life altering.

I'd recommend that to anyone, alcoholic or not. There are exercise freaks that live for little else in life, but as you get older, the benefits of continuous exercise show up not in the form of faster running times or new personal bests, but in simply being healthier. And you notice it too. I hit the trails hard this summer. My knees are stronger and early summer pain in them is now gone, I can breath easier, and I lost 15 pounds.

That's a perfect way to start a program if you want to get into better shape. Start easy with a pup who's just starting to realize how much there is in life to explore. In another 4 months, you will be better equipped to match a young dog's enthusiasm, and 6 months after that you will be struggling to keep up. And hiking with your dog on a regular basis creates a strong bond. You will both love each other more.

I don't have a dog right now, but there's neighborhood stray that hangs out from time to time. If I'm on my way to a trail, I take him with. He gets embarrassingly excited when he knows it's going to happen. I think he recognizes it's time when I've got my boots on. He likes to stay 30 yards ahead of me, and he's always looking over his shoulder to keep track of me. He could hike on his own. Maybe he does sometimes. He knows how to find my favorite trail head. I know this because I've met him there, and he gets excited when that happens. He's got a way better sense of direction than I do, and he doesn't need me to go hiking. He just likes to be with me, or probably anyone else that shows up with boots on.

Pinky1

I'm nearly 5 months sober

I'm working hard on my marriage, my relationship with my girls. I'm taking a pride in my appearance again. I've started to redecorate our home. It used to be a lovely home I was so proud of it (and houseproud) until I let it go to the drink.

I am getting back to the real me slowly and appreciating life again. That's more than enough to look forward to for me.

August252015

How's it going Press?