BackandScared

I meant perhaps I could be a 'normal drinker' if I had made other choices over many many years. If I had said no to a drink when I was not addicted, but it was nicer/easier to go ahead without thinking about the consequences. Perhaps I could have stopped the first time I decided it was OK to drink alone at home. I am sure there were many times I could have made other choices and I didn't.

I know now I cannot moderate. I don't feel like it either. My cravings are not cravings for a glass of wine. I want a bottle; a 'last bottle'. My AV is quite greedy. She tells me that I can do it one last time and then continue my sober life. She used to tell me I could drink only during WEs. She has never told me I could be a moderate drinker. I guess I should be grateful for that.

DreamCatcher17

If you don't buy it, can't drink it.
If you are not at a bar, you won't drink it
If you are not at party, you won't drink it.

Simple.
Stay away from places that sell alcohol or have alcohol. If you can do that forever, great. If not, just wait until you no longer have the cravings.

Zebra1275

Is it so hard not to drink?

No, not today. I live a sober lifestyle and have for the last 9 1/2 years.

10 years ago, the answer was yes.

lessgravity

When you're dragging out from another binge, ashamed, weak, nauseated and still under the false belief that only another bottle will take the pain away - yes, it's hard not to drink.

When you've spent years ruining the self-trust and self-reliance required to take care of your self, your family and your obligations - yes, it's hard not to drink.

However, when you do the work needed to repair your self, the work needed to heal the damage to relationships, careers, health and you push forward, focused each day, then each week, then each month, on not drinking, things get easier.

And then when your start to receive the gifts of sobriety, the peace, the time, the confidence, the calm, the joy - no, it's not impossible not to drink.

Finally when you accept the fact you cannot drink anymore, ever again, and the life that you might only have hoped for in the dank wasteland of your drinking days somehow is not only within reach but, maybe, in fact finally here - no, it is no longer hard not to drink any more.

1newcreation

Good question for one in very early sobriety
For me like others, answer is absolutely no! I’ve got many reasons so I’ll just name my top three: have a right relationship with God, which for a long time booze had lied to me that coz I believed in Him everything was ok, my gratitude list which my goal by year’s end was 500 is now 700 & still counting; why in the world would I want to flush all that down the toilet coz of a crate of dos equis or Jim Beam??
Last but not least is horrible withdrawals!! Just as it was said earlier, bout never drinking again, I too could identify a bit. Only in last few mths when tolerance level was so high, that the only prob I had was crazy dts which I of course stopped by chugging down more. Only when I was ready & was sick & tired of being sick & tired did the “real fun” commence. Temp changes, bad diarrhea, insomnia just to name a few were eagerly awaiting me! As I’ve told others, I wouldn’t wish this on my ex( yeah seriously) or even those annoying coworkers. Being @ the jumping off place as the big book calls it, for me meant that there’s got to be something better than what I’ve been doing. Of course, it has but not the way normal drinkers would think- can wake up with no ill effects of previous night, feel positive bout day ahead regardless how it turns out, can be of service to the still suffering alkys by going to a detox or psych ward & being the coffee maker @ my home group meeting of A.A. etc
Trust me there’s nothing better out there for us coz we can have more fun in sobriety

CRRHCC

Something to consider:

ALL CHOICES ARE MADE IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

"The PDP (Positive Drive Principal) says that all human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness and that, when you choose to do something, you do so because you see it as your best available option. This concept is vitally important because the only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using. You must reach that conclusion yourself because, as Aristotle said, “We desire in accordance with our deliberation.” (This is the BBO principle of Biggest Best Offer).

Slate, Steven. The Freedom Model for Addictions: Escape the Treatment and Recovery Trap . BRI Publishing. Kindle Edition.

DriGuy

I think you may have nailed a major key to sobriety for alcoholics. For me, creating an environment where "everything centered on staying sober" was exactly what recovery seems like. Now this environment is not all about rearranged furniture. It's more like an environment in my head. But it also physically changed where I could go and who I could hang with. But it was "centering everything on sobriety," which is something I never did before. Sobriety is an all consuming, never ending, always paying attention kind of habit.

Now dismal statistics as they are, this all consuming centeredness is where the hope lies. Dee was right to object to the doom and gloom of statistics, but the other side of that coin is that statistics only apply to populations, not to individuals, which clearly tells me that even with the odds against them, individuals can succeed through effort. That effort doesn't have to be in the form of extraordinary willpower, and I don't think it should be. It's the effort put into recognizing our own head games and constant awareness that we have to choose wisely, or whatever stumbling blocks that may be our downfall. This effort seems to eventually become habitual, and it's not like we have to live the rest of our lives fearing failure and exhausting ourselves to stay sober.

Sobriety is the easier softer way that we have all sought before.

NerfThis

This sort of question tends to pop up when someone has a few months of sobriety. I'm at around 14 months now and consider that to be extremely early in, but last year I felt that 2-3 months was pretty substantial and that things seemed easy. I don't think that now. (I'm talking personally. I'm not saying that someone else with 3 months behind them hasn't done a fantastic job)

Everyone is different and some will struggle a lot more than others. That's why this forum exists. I quit because I didn't always have control of my drinking. I sometimes drank normally, but often didn't and those abnormal drinking sessions were becoming more frequent. Not drinking at all is easy for me in comparison to trying to moderate my drinking. I've also been sober long enough now to understand that I didn't really get any benefit from drinking. I enjoy being sober more than I enjoy being drunk. That is the important part for me and I will remind myself of it if I ever feel tempted to drink in the future.

biminiblue

I think if I decide it's hard, then it is.

If I acknowledge that the Decision to Not Drink is entirely mine and is the best thing I can do for myself, then it becomes a whole heckofalot easier. Did I forget the fun early euphoria of the beginning of drinking? I kinda have forgotten it - or it got squashed by all the bad stuff that really does happen. On my Pro/Con list drinking has eleventy-seven Cons and um...can't think of a Pro.

No way I'd go through those first few months of sobriety again. It was truly hard and painful in every spiritual, emotional, and physical way.

I really love this from lessgravity:

january161992

as ive always gone to meetings ive never thought about drinking/ drugging

Callas

It is difficult for me to not drink when socialising. But it is quite possible.

Steadwell

Someone mentioned "kindling" in this thread and I can attest to that phenomenon. When a person has a history of regular consumption, then suddenly stop, it does kick-in. It seems to get worse every time, but I'm thinking a lot of that is the anxiety and shame. The physical part doesn't really seem to get too much worse, how could it? I haven't had seizures, YET, but that could be in the near future if I don't find some intervention.

daisy1

Maybe decades ago I did used to make the decision not to drink during the working week, and if I had something important I wouldn't risk a hangover. It creeps in gradually and before you know it, sensible drinking no longer exists.

Natom

Your question has like a million and one different answers. So I used to drink quite heavily back when my drug of choice was cocaine. I'm in active addiction to opiates and I can take or leave booze now, I'm not that fussed.

But.....I know for a fact that when I clean up I end up putting booze on a pedestal and it becomes harder and harder not to drink. This is probably because I'm concerned with other addictions at the moment and alcohol isn't really a concern. I've had a four-pack of beer in the fridge for months and there's still three left.

I had two years of clean time and relapsed. One pint of beer started it all.

So in my head the answer to your question is yeah it's pretty hard not to drink.

Natom

DriGuy

Meetings were a huge part in getting over the hump for me. If that one thing works, I would center my life around that. I did the 90 in 90, and then continued for another 90 several times before I missed a meeting. Lately, I don't need to attend any meetings, but now I rely on what I think people mean when they mention mindfulness, so not drinking is still a center of my life. I don't spend my days thinking about it, but I always consider the futility of drinking when the idea pops into my head. It's just an idea that pops up. I could in no way consider it a craving. It's just a thought without fear or desire. That's my cue for me to stop and look at the thing and process the thought logically.

By logically, I don't mean formal logic, like if A = C and B ≠ A, then C must... Instead it gets processed and finalized with some variation of "Well, that's one stupid idea, you dodo."

brighterday1234

least

The first few months of my recovery, yes, I found it hard to not drink. After a while, sobriety became my new normal and it was a lot easier to stay sober.

thomas11

Tough to argue with the above statement in my opinion.

Hodd

Dee74

Not sure if you've ever been to a counsellor Hodd but IMO 'passing on the problem' is not what therapy is about

A good counsellor will help you to get to the nub of problems, gently but firmly.
A good therapist will guide, for sure, but you still do the work.
Fear works for a while but it eventually faded for me.

I couldn't live in fear because fear was one of the things that made me drink.

I needed positive reinforcement.
I built a sober life I loved. I grew I changed.

That still keeps me sober

D