You're still in early sobriety and your emotions are going to be up and down for a while yet. The best advice I ever got to shore up my sobriety was to practice gratitude every day. :) It really helps. :)

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

Hi BABM

the road to happiness was a pretty long one for me...I was pleased I was sober, my life was a lot better in some ways - but still not great in others. More than once the AV pulled the ol' 'geez this blows - why not drink anyway?' line.

Fortunately I had my old posts and other peoples posts to remind me why not.

Everyone wants to feel good and for people like you and me we knew exactly what to do to feel good.

Its amazing we recall that bit and forget how bad things got after.

I thought I'd never feel joy again but I did. I thought I'd never get out from under the mess my drinking made, but I did. I thought I'd never feel peace, or pride in myself again but I did.

I drank for years - it was always going to take a little time for my brain and body to recover from that.

Give it time :)

ps gotta say still not a fan of driving unlicensed tho. There must be another way.

but..that's your call and your risk - I just hope it doesn't rear back and bite you on the posterior in the next 10 months :)

D

your sponsor has you stopped on the 3rd step and
Stark raving sober. Bored. Disinterested. Discontent

one of the great promises of the 4th step
we start to straighten out mentally and physically.

the message is that there are time frames laid out in the bb for dam good reason.. that "at once" means right atfer step 3, which step 3 isnt one we sit on- we make a decision then move onto step 4. sitting around on the step is making a decision to do nothing to recover from the hopeless state of mind and body. . it is making a decision to push ourselves closer to the next drink. ive heard way too many people end up drunk that sat on the 3rd step.

ya want to feel good? work the steps. giving it time sittin on a step will get ya drunk. ive heard it hundreds of times at meetings.

what do YOU say about getting busy on the 4th step?

I mentioned before I'm not particularly liking the unlicensed driving, but you're being as responsible as you can about it, and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I've gone years without being stopped by the cops, and if you don't give them a reason you may make it through the ten months. Just don't get stopped for something stupidly stupid like a tail light out, or a headlight or a blinker out. I'm sure you're driving responsibly.

I don't know about the Fourth Step. Maybe just start jotting down some notes to yourself without making a big formal deal out of it. I've seen some Fourth Step work in your posts here, so, really, right now at six or seven weeks it doesn't have to be an all or nothing approach. I can't remember at what point I did the Fourth Step, but it felt like it was time, safe, and necessary. (Can't say as I have any insight into the timing in relation to the Third Step because I'm not a believer and bascially skipped from One to Four.)

I just don't want to see you drinking again. Then everything goes right out the window.

Hang in there for a while.

Lots of "meat" here, BABM. I'm glad you are sharing. Primarily because we get it. Plenty of folks above have talked about ups and downs and what we go thru in our individual journeys- there is always commonality tho, it takes time to get even, heal, be happy....and I'll tell you that at 54 days I was just coming "to" - "time takes time" irked me but was excruciatingly- and excitingly - true for me.

RE the no car/license/whatever. My short contribution is that I had no car for 3 yrs, did have a license but no one would lend me a car, and any version of this situation is workable. It sucks and it takes good decisions- like not risking killing someone without a license (on top of the killing part).

I re-read posts and threads often, on good and bad days. Sometimes it's just to remember or hear from others, other times it's to see where people are or indeed, learn something new for myself - one important point I will suggest to you is that at 54 days or 1307 (I just looked) there is ALWAYS something new to learn.

Keep going - when I repeat the phrase "it keeps getting better" I mean that it gets clearer, life is more manageable, I am more peaceful amidst trouble (I am truly grateful and joyful here at 18 days post- major back surgery), and free.

Glad you are here.

Oh, and "cryptic" - perhaps if I seem that way (not that you mentioned me), it's just because I am trying not to sound so flat out bossy with my own methods and beliefs. I believe that how we hear things always depends on us- not the speaker.

Let's just get you through these early ups and downs without drinking. Nothing you're experiencing right now, as painful as it may be, is permanent. Gotta live through it. Sounds crazy, but embrace it!

You're a good man.

Not much to offer, advice wise, just wanted to say I appreciate your honesty and you reaching out for help.

Just hang in there! I got sober the 1st time in 1991 for 9 years; then relapsed and made it 7 years....the LAST time was 4 yrs. sober. Some of us take longer than others:headbange

Hang in there BABM! Can you do something really good for yourself? Something fun without drinking? Take the kids to the park or pool, go bowling, whatever. I'm sure you're talking to your sponsor about this, too. Dating isn't the best thing for loneliness, anyway, in my experience. Can you get together with one or two sober people, go to a movie or out to eat?
Sending big warm hugs and lots of positive thoughts your way!

And, I wanted to say to FreshStart, Congrats on getting back to day one! Come join us in the September class if you like. I hope you feel better fast!

Tomorrow is another day BABM.

I always have to be really careful about not setting myself up to drink using other people's words or actions. I am around the same time as you and it is a roller coaster for sure. I will own that I have less to deal with than you right now but when I quit drugs many years ago it was a different story. Life was very low. There was a phrase that I clung to that got me through a lot of bad days

'When one door closes another one opens but it is bloody uncomfortable in the corridor'.

I used to repeat that like a mantra in my head. But little did I know that it wouldn't be one door that opened, it would be many. Hang in there!

I wouldn't like to think anyone became anxious or depressed from anything I've written - that would be the opposite effect to the one I intended :)

We're all trying to help, not bring you down BABM. Keep striving for and doing your best - thats all anyone can ask of you.

D

this is when the 4th step would help. anxious and depressed=fear. the 4th step has 3 inventories- resentments, fear, and sex. open up your bb andstart reading at last paragraph pg 67.
then do what it says- put your fears on paper. learn "why" you have them.
we cant fix anything until we know what needs fixing,which the 4th shows us what needs fixin.

I can relate to some of your purpose. I struggle with purpose and happiness and its coming up on 4 years (that alone blows my mind). I believe gratitude and recognizing what we do have is far more beneficial than focusing on the void. Wish you the best.

Oh no! I'm so sorry. Is there Uber where you live? Do you have a bike? My goodness. I'm praying for you!