What is Normal?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
What is Normal?
Lots of talk about being normal, or not, today.
Yeah, we all know normal is just a cycle on a washing machine, but beyond the joke - what is normal, who sets the definition, and why do we crave it so much?
I will never be normal.
I'm a disabled guy who's done so many things I'm not 'supposed' to do (no boasting cos there was both good and bad in that) but I will never roll down the street and not get that look from someone of equal parts pity fear and annoyance, lol.
I'm just different, even before I open my mouth.
Yet I tried for years to fit in, to belong, to not be different, even tried to be something and someone I'm not because I was scared of being alone.
We can all do amazing things with the lives we've been given.
Why the heck would anyone not want to?
We all are beautiful and unique. Different talents different histories and different temperaments, different points of perception.
Why not embrace that difference and be who we were always meant to be?
We have to face that 'being alone' fear and realise that it's built on nothing....however different we are, there are always other arms to hold us, other shoulders to lift us up and other ears to hear us.
Maybe you've not found them yet or they're not where you expected them to be, but they're there...
I have a family that reaches around the world
I'm gonna stay weird
Don't be afraid to be you - the non drinking, non drugging, non addicted you.
D
Yeah, we all know normal is just a cycle on a washing machine, but beyond the joke - what is normal, who sets the definition, and why do we crave it so much?
I will never be normal.
I'm a disabled guy who's done so many things I'm not 'supposed' to do (no boasting cos there was both good and bad in that) but I will never roll down the street and not get that look from someone of equal parts pity fear and annoyance, lol.
I'm just different, even before I open my mouth.
Yet I tried for years to fit in, to belong, to not be different, even tried to be something and someone I'm not because I was scared of being alone.
We can all do amazing things with the lives we've been given.
Why the heck would anyone not want to?
We all are beautiful and unique. Different talents different histories and different temperaments, different points of perception.
Why not embrace that difference and be who we were always meant to be?
We have to face that 'being alone' fear and realise that it's built on nothing....however different we are, there are always other arms to hold us, other shoulders to lift us up and other ears to hear us.
Maybe you've not found them yet or they're not where you expected them to be, but they're there...
I have a family that reaches around the world
I'm gonna stay weird
Don't be afraid to be you - the non drinking, non drugging, non addicted you.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
There is my favourite word again (NOT) haha exactly what is NORMAL ? if NORMAL is never messing up in you’re life I’ve NEVER EVER met anyone who is NORMAL each and everyone has their scars to bear and that’s what makes us unique and fantastic 👍
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I used to wish I was "normal", until I discovered that I was ok the way I was. I was bad about comparing my insides to others' outsides and feeling envious or less-than. Now I believe in myself and my goal in life is to "be the kind of person that my dog thinks I am". My dogs don't care if I'm 'normal', they only care if I love them.
I was bad about comparing my insides to others' outsides and feeling envious or less-than. Now I believe in myself and my goal in life is to "be the kind of person that my dog thinks I am". My dogs don't care if I'm 'normal', they only care if I love them. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Dee, what a beautiful message. I have read the stories of many persons who have stopped drinking. Even bought a couple of books. I always think you would be a fantastic writer and so inspiring in so many ways. While the books I've read have helped me, no one writes like you. You are indeed very different from most and at the same time you seem able to empathise with everybody.
The definition of 'normal' for alcoholics is far from the beautiful reflections you have made. We just mean 'I wish I could drink'. We just add 'like normal people'. But normal people don't spend their lives thinking about alcohol, identifying they have a problem and then trying to resolve by 'moderating' the problem.
The definition of 'normal' for alcoholics is far from the beautiful reflections you have made. We just mean 'I wish I could drink'. We just add 'like normal people'. But normal people don't spend their lives thinking about alcohol, identifying they have a problem and then trying to resolve by 'moderating' the problem.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: ireland
Posts: 138
Hi Dee,
Great post! normal, I think is what society wants us to be examples of normality in society is like work 9-5 get married have kids buy a house live happily ever after, I rebel against society's normal moral life. I work when and if I want to work, I see who I want and when I want to see them,I rebel against authority figures but all this makes me happy and not normal and that's the way its meant to be for me on my path to sobriety.
Great post! normal, I think is what society wants us to be examples of normality in society is like work 9-5 get married have kids buy a house live happily ever after, I rebel against society's normal moral life. I work when and if I want to work, I see who I want and when I want to see them,I rebel against authority figures but all this makes me happy and not normal and that's the way its meant to be for me on my path to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
I might have inadvertently started this on another thread 😃
I saw my brother enjoying a glass of wine. He drinks on average two or three glasses a week. No problem there. My wife said that maybe in a few years, I’d be able to drink occasionally. I replied, “My brother’s able to drink like that because he’s normal.”
Maybe I was being a bit flippant but then again I’m referring to myself. I’d say the majority of people can take or leave alcohol or drink moderately. I’m not in that group, so I declare myself not normal.
Everything else about me is normal and boring, though 🙂
I saw my brother enjoying a glass of wine. He drinks on average two or three glasses a week. No problem there. My wife said that maybe in a few years, I’d be able to drink occasionally. I replied, “My brother’s able to drink like that because he’s normal.”
Maybe I was being a bit flippant but then again I’m referring to myself. I’d say the majority of people can take or leave alcohol or drink moderately. I’m not in that group, so I declare myself not normal.
Everything else about me is normal and boring, though 🙂
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
I don't know Hodd. Almost everybody has tasted alcohol and not all of them become addicted. Like cigarettes when I was young. It was difficult to meet someone who had not tried it. They are poisons and they taste awful. Some of us kept drinking/smoking until we acquired the taste (I have done this with plenty of other things like Oysters or snails).
Therefore, I think there is something in 'us' that makes us persevere with drinking until we become addicted. Others, 'the normals', don't. However, alcohol is addictive to all human beings. All persons who consume enough amount of alcohol for long enough will become addicted. To become addicted is also 'normal'. I tried marihuana and other drugs once or twice. I did not repeat, for whatever reason. If I had I would have become addicted as everybody else who keeps on going.
Long time ago, I decided to keep my taste for alcohol limited to beers and wine only. I didn't like liquors. I had no doubt it would only take me enough trying to acquire the taste. So I think we are not like the majority but the majority will be like us if they behaved like we did.
Therefore, I think there is something in 'us' that makes us persevere with drinking until we become addicted. Others, 'the normals', don't. However, alcohol is addictive to all human beings. All persons who consume enough amount of alcohol for long enough will become addicted. To become addicted is also 'normal'. I tried marihuana and other drugs once or twice. I did not repeat, for whatever reason. If I had I would have become addicted as everybody else who keeps on going.
Long time ago, I decided to keep my taste for alcohol limited to beers and wine only. I didn't like liquors. I had no doubt it would only take me enough trying to acquire the taste. So I think we are not like the majority but the majority will be like us if they behaved like we did.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
Interestingly, I did try whisky and a few other spirits in the past, but I couldn’t get a taste for it. I’m thankful for that now as I drink fast - I still do this with tea, water or whatever - which probably added to my problems. I’d have drank whisky at the same pace as wine or beer! I reckon if I’d developed a taste for whisky, I wouldn’t be here now.
p.s. Glad it’s not just me, Dee 🙂
p.p.s. I’m not saying beer or wine is less harmful than whisky by the way. The liver struggles with all of them in the same way.
p.s. Glad it’s not just me, Dee 🙂
p.p.s. I’m not saying beer or wine is less harmful than whisky by the way. The liver struggles with all of them in the same way.
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