8 months in, my two cents
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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8 months in, my two cents
What causes turmoil in one's life? Is it the drinking in itself?
Negative consequences are caused most often by emotional distress, not the substance itself. Alcohol is simply one of many tools we use to absorb said emotions. Over an extended period of time, however, for some like me, it becomes the 'only' tool in the box we rely on. That's when negative consequences start multiplying, when the tool, which was initially brought into the picture to ease the emotional situation, is now having the opposite effect.
I'm 8 months sober, and it hasn't been a picnic.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
Will I ever drink again?
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020.
Negative consequences are caused most often by emotional distress, not the substance itself. Alcohol is simply one of many tools we use to absorb said emotions. Over an extended period of time, however, for some like me, it becomes the 'only' tool in the box we rely on. That's when negative consequences start multiplying, when the tool, which was initially brought into the picture to ease the emotional situation, is now having the opposite effect.
I'm 8 months sober, and it hasn't been a picnic.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
Will I ever drink again?
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020.
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2 
The problem with that is when you get to 365 days are you going to reward yourself with poison, it sounds to me like that is what will happen, you have done great I hope it continues 👍
It's possible I will drink at 365 days. It's possible I won't.
For me, I wanted to experience sobriety in the first place. After almost a decade of drinking, I wanted to see what it would feel like if I didn't for one. Better, or worse? I haven't yet made that conclusion.
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2
Well good luck 👍
It's just a different school of thought, I guess.
Before, I used to try getting sober with the thought "I'm never gonna drink again". That didn't work for me.
Never is a strong word for me, personally. Almost like a sentencing.
I don't know, I'm happy I've made it to 8 months, and there's nothing stopping me from making it 365 days. So that is secure. I'm good with that.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
I like this post. It is so honest. Yes, sobriety has many positives but there are also a less positive side. Life certainly is not easy. If it wasn’t for the utter negative effect on my health and the horror of daily withdrawal between the hours of 6 am and 5 pm I probably would still be drinking. I know I can not do that to my health unless I want to sign my own death warrant. But everything being wonderful in recovery....not.
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Originally Posted by Callas
I like this post. It is so honest. Yes, sobriety has many positives but there are also a less positive side. Life certainly is not easy. If it wasn’t for the utter negative effect on my health and the horror of daily withdrawal between the hours of 6 am and 5 pm I probably would still be drinking. I know I can not do that to my health unless I want to sign my own death warrant. But everything being wonderful in recovery....not.
That being said, I'm glad someone here can agree that it's not all roses and rosemary.
Just wanna reiterate that I'm not encouraging readers to drink / not attempt to quit. Quite the contrary.
Having said that, it's very important, atleast in early sobriety, for one to have normal, and rather realistic expectations.
I wish you a beacon of good health!
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
The way I look at it I know sobriety was not going to be all peaches and cream that's a given because there's this thing called life that we have to live on the flip side being sober you are able to tolerate life's issues better than when we were boozing I don't think about oh I'm never going to drink again I can say I'm not going to drink today and that's all I do so far so good I am at a precious 133 days booze free
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Originally Posted by SoberRican
The way I look at it I know sobriety was not going to be all peaches and cream that's a given because there's this thing called life that we have to live on the flip side being sober you are able to tolerate life's issues better than when we were boozing I don't think about oh I'm never going to drink again I can say I'm not going to drink today and that's all I do so far so good I am at a precious 133 days booze free
I'm certainly not able to 'tolerate' life's issues better by being sober. Quite the opposite, actually. Beer was my crutch, and I no longer have one. The emotions remain, but the andidote is gone.
Are my issues NOT becoming worse than they already are on account of me remaining sober? Arguably so. I'd say yes. Damage control, is what I believe is the phrase.
I see the two issues as separate from one another.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Originally Posted by Pippo
What causes turmoil in one's life? Is it the drinking in itself?
Negative consequences are caused most often by emotional distress, not the substance itself. Alcohol is simply one of many tools we use to absorb said emotions. Over an extended period of time, however, for some like me, it becomes the 'only' tool in the box we rely on. That's when negative consequences start multiplying, when the tool, which was initially brought into the picture to ease the emotional situation, is now having the opposite effect.
I'm 8 months sober, and it hasn't been a picnic.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
Will I ever drink again?
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020.
Negative consequences are caused most often by emotional distress, not the substance itself. Alcohol is simply one of many tools we use to absorb said emotions. Over an extended period of time, however, for some like me, it becomes the 'only' tool in the box we rely on. That's when negative consequences start multiplying, when the tool, which was initially brought into the picture to ease the emotional situation, is now having the opposite effect.
I'm 8 months sober, and it hasn't been a picnic.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
Will I ever drink again?
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020.
Drugs have always been the only tool in my toolbox. I used to love self-medicating, mainly because it worked. If I had some pain, either physical or emotional, I'd pop a pill. Then that pain would be gone, albeit temporarily.
Self-medicating worked for awhile. It got rid of the things I didn't want to feel. But, eventually, it got rid of everything. All my feelings, my emotions, my aspirations, my dreams. Everything was gone. Now I face a compounded set of emotions from years of dampening them down.
Original Pain x 500%
That is what drugs and alcohol do. They offer a brief respite but then follow that up with the original problem, perhaps magnified, complete with new problems and issues.
Natom
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I'm 8 months sober, and it hasn't been a picnic.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
.
Anyone who tells you that sobriety is paradise on a daily basis, and that all your problems will be solved once you put down the bottle, is unfortunately, not correct in doing so.
Sobriety does, however, help you regain your natural, original mental state over time, which you may have lost. But apart from that, you still have to pick up the pieces on your own. It's not a magic potion.
.
I don;t think I've ever seen anyone claim here that recovery leads an abundance of unicorns and rainbows - but it did get me back to a place where I could smile and appreciate such whimsy
My life is not perfect and neither am I - but I am at peace and happy. Even despite the down times.
That's a good place to be
I had to do a lot more than just not drink to be happy tho.
What are you doing to be happy Pippo?
Will I ever drink again?
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020
I don't know. That's just the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
My target, from day one, has always been to have 365 consecutive days of sobriety under my belt. I'll see how I feel in February 2020
Abstinence is not the same thing as control.
D
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Natom
If I had some pain, either physical or emotional, I'd pop a pill. Then that pain would be gone, albeit temporarily.
Self-medicating worked for awhile. It got rid of the things I didn't want to feel. But, eventually, it got rid of everything. All my feelings, my emotions, my aspirations, my dreams. Everything was gone. Now I face a compounded set of emotions from years of dampening them down.
Self-medicating worked for awhile. It got rid of the things I didn't want to feel. But, eventually, it got rid of everything. All my feelings, my emotions, my aspirations, my dreams. Everything was gone. Now I face a compounded set of emotions from years of dampening them down.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I made it 8 months once years ago. My av told me it was easy so may as well start again. After all, it was easy.
Fast forward 20 years and so many drunken bad decisions and health degeneration.
Quiting was so painful.
I didn't have sr to help me. So, I was a babe in the woods.
I have no excuse now if I relapsed. I would deserve what ever I get.
I have been on sr and in AA for the last nearly 5 years. I never once met a relapsed person that was glad they relapsed. Never ever ever.
My kitchen is very clean, why mess it up again.
Thanks.
Fast forward 20 years and so many drunken bad decisions and health degeneration.
Quiting was so painful.
I didn't have sr to help me. So, I was a babe in the woods.
I have no excuse now if I relapsed. I would deserve what ever I get.
I have been on sr and in AA for the last nearly 5 years. I never once met a relapsed person that was glad they relapsed. Never ever ever.
My kitchen is very clean, why mess it up again.
Thanks.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Dee74
Congrats on 8 months.
I don;t think I've ever seen anyone claim here that recovery leads an abundance of unicorns and rainbows - but it did get me back to a place where I could smile and appreciate such whimsy
My life is not perfect and neither am I - but I am at peace and happy. Even despite the down times.
That's a good place to be
I had to do a lot more than just not drink to be happy tho.
What are you doing to be happy Pippo?
I hope you don't drink then.
Abstinence is not the same thing as control.
D
I don;t think I've ever seen anyone claim here that recovery leads an abundance of unicorns and rainbows - but it did get me back to a place where I could smile and appreciate such whimsy
My life is not perfect and neither am I - but I am at peace and happy. Even despite the down times.
That's a good place to be
I had to do a lot more than just not drink to be happy tho.
What are you doing to be happy Pippo?
I hope you don't drink then.
Abstinence is not the same thing as control.
D
Maybe it's just me. But I feel there's generally a 'happy-thoughts-only' attitude adopted by everyone in society concerning sobriety. I'm not referring to SR members in exclusivity.
And few want to admit there is a possibility, however small or big, that they may relapse. Yes, the communal support (through AA, or elsewhere) is there when the unthinkable does happen. One certainly can seek help, in today's times.
But going back to what I posted a while ago, "never drinking again" is generally the mantra that's adopted, which is great if it works, but in my experience, is a daunting thought in itself. I believe the pressure that exerts is surreal, and can serve as a trigger on its own.
But then again, I'm not an authority on the matter. And I can only speak for myself. You guys are the experts!
Thanks for all your support in the past 8 months!
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by Mummyto2
The problem with that is when you get to 365 days are you going to reward yourself with poison, it sounds to me like that is what will happen, you have done great I hope it continues 👍
Not long after a year sober I had a run of the mill bad day. The 1 year barrier had been passed, and I had still mentally left alcohol on the table, so I took the option to drink.
That drink started a 2.5 year spiral, slowly at first then quickening, where I ended up losing nearly everything, nearly my life.
I woke up in hospital nearly 9 months ago, haven’t drank since, and I got there ultimately by having the same thought process as in the OP.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Originally Posted by Pippo
I couldn't agree more.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
They make it possible for me to live a quality of life and enjoy a state of mental health that others take for granted.
Thats all.
If you or anyone else wants to see that as numbing, theres nothing I can do about that, of course - but I don't see it that way.
I'm not wandering around 'under the influence of anti depressants' - I'm just enjoying the same life the same way everyone else does
I think it is possible to face life, full on, without having to numb ourselves or 'take the edge off'.
I have balance in my life. I have things to help me unwind like exercise, hobbies, social life - but absolutely no desire to 'check out' at all
D
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Posts: 82
Originally Posted by D122y
I made it 8 months once years ago. My av told me it was easy so may as well start again. After all, it was easy.
Fast forward 20 years and so many drunken bad decisions and health degeneration.
Quiting was so painful.
I didn't have sr to help me. So, I was a babe in the woods.
I have no excuse now if I relapsed. I would deserve what ever I get.
I have been on sr and in AA for the last nearly 5 years. I never once met a relapsed person that was glad they relapsed. Never ever ever.
My kitchen is very clean, why mess it up again.
Thanks.
Fast forward 20 years and so many drunken bad decisions and health degeneration.
Quiting was so painful.
I didn't have sr to help me. So, I was a babe in the woods.
I have no excuse now if I relapsed. I would deserve what ever I get.
I have been on sr and in AA for the last nearly 5 years. I never once met a relapsed person that was glad they relapsed. Never ever ever.
My kitchen is very clean, why mess it up again.
Thanks.
I'm not looking for excuses to drink. That's one chore I'm good at doing without needing an excuse to procrastinate!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by FlyAgain
This is what I did the first time I got sober. I hadn’t taken alcohol off the table completely in my mind, thought I could drink again maybe in the future. I told myself there was no point in thinking about it until I was a year sober anyway.
Not long after a year sober I had a run of the mill bad day. The 1 year barrier had been passed, and I had still mentally left alcohol on the table, so I took the option to drink.
That drink started a 2.5 year spiral, slowly at first then quickening, where I ended up losing nearly everything, nearly my life.
I woke up in hospital nearly 9 months ago, haven’t drank since, and I got there ultimately by having the same thought process as in the OP.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Yes, you can stay sober for 30yrs 40yrs but once an addict always an addict, you can’t moderate or change what you drink etc it will always end up the same and each time you need more & more, that’s alcoholism, the only way to have peace is to not drink
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