8 months in, my two cents
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Originally Posted by Pippo 
I couldn't agree more.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
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I apologize for any offense to users of anti-depressants. I also apologize for my unconventional approach, if that has rubbed anyone the wrong way. My views are limited to the scope of my own sobriety, and I am not here to preach and advise, but to share and converse. Thank you.
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Originally Posted by Pippo
I apologize for any offense to users of anti-depressants. I also apologize for my unconventional approach, if that has rubbed anyone the wrong way. My views are limited to the scope of my own sobriety, and I am not here to preach and advise, but to share and converse. Thank you.
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I combined booze and benzos for several years and it took such a toll on my mental health that I finally had a complete psychotic break. I haven't had a drink in almost 13 years and, for me personally, I can say that my life and my state of mind are immeasurably better from the removal of substances. A bed of roses? no lol but life isn't a bed of roses whether you drink or don't drink and for me alcohol made the thorns of life sharper, not duller. Since I ditched the booze, I for sure am able to deal with whatever life brings more effectively. Of course, I've had tragedy over the years (divorce, lost my house, failed relationships, my sister died) and challenges that I love but are challenges nonetheless (ex: I care for my adult son who is disabled). So yeah, there have been times I've been curled in the fetal position sobbing, but I did that as a drunk too so whatevs. The difference is, I can get myself up clearheaded and face the challenges head on. I was not able to do that when I drank and used. This has brought me a sense of confidence and empowerment over my life, again something I didn't have before. Overall I lead a really good life and I'm grateful for it every day. I still get pretty pink cloudy even after all these years.
Re: the concept of never...it's the only thing that saved me from struggle. Once I decided I would never drink again, I experienced such a sense of relief and peace. That's not to say I didn't have thoughts of drinking or using over the years, but they have been just that, thoughts that I dismiss and move on from without having to battle them. May not work for everyone, but it sure has made my life easier.
Re: the concept of never...it's the only thing that saved me from struggle. Once I decided I would never drink again, I experienced such a sense of relief and peace. That's not to say I didn't have thoughts of drinking or using over the years, but they have been just that, thoughts that I dismiss and move on from without having to battle them. May not work for everyone, but it sure has made my life easier.
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Originally Posted by soberlicious
I combined booze and benzos for several years and it took such a toll on my mental health that I finally had a complete psychotic break. I haven't had a drink in almost 13 years and, for me personally, I can say that my life and my state of mind are immeasurably better from the removal of substances. A bed of roses? no lol but life isn't a bed of roses whether you drink or don't drink and for me alcohol made the thorns of life sharper, not duller. Since I ditched the booze, I for sure am able to deal with whatever life brings more effectively. Of course, I've had tragedy over the years (divorce, lost my house, failed relationships, my sister died) and challenges that I love but are challenges nonetheless (ex: I care for my adult son who is disabled). So yeah, there have been times I've been curled in the fetal position sobbing, but I did that as a drunk too so whatevs. The difference is, I can get myself up clearheaded and face the challenges head on. I was not able to do that when I drank and used. This has brought me a sense of confidence and empowerment over my life, again something I didn't have before. Overall I lead a really good life and I'm grateful for it every day. I still get pretty pink cloudy even after all these years.
Re: the concept of never...it's the only thing that saved me from struggle. Once I decided I would never drink again, I experienced such a sense of relief and peace. That's not to say I didn't have thoughts of drinking or using over the years, but they have been just that, thoughts that I dismiss and move on from without having to battle them. May not work for everyone, but it sure has made my life easier.
Re: the concept of never...it's the only thing that saved me from struggle. Once I decided I would never drink again, I experienced such a sense of relief and peace. That's not to say I didn't have thoughts of drinking or using over the years, but they have been just that, thoughts that I dismiss and move on from without having to battle them. May not work for everyone, but it sure has made my life easier.
Congrats on 13 years!
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Originally Posted by soberlicious
So what drove you to quit in the first place and how will that have changed in 365 days?
I want to experience what it's like to navigate through life without alcohol. I'd been drinking since college, roughly for the last 10 years.
Ofcourse, to feel (as opposed to just hearing second-hand about) the improvements. To document those improvements for future reference.
Lastly, to make an informed decision of whether it's something I want to incorporate throughout my lifetime. And also whether doing that is sustainable, given my circumstances and emotional status.
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Originally Posted by Pippo
And also whether doing that is sustainable, given my circumstances and emotional status.
Personally, I don't think your approach is all that "unconventional". Many people spend many years deciding what to do about their drinking. It's pretty common. I look at the years I spent doing that and I wish I had them back. In any event, one way or another you'll find the answers you're looking for.
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Originally Posted by soberlicious
Do you mean whether not drinking is sustainable? Of course it is.
Personally, I don't think your approach is all that "unconventional". Many people spend many years deciding what to do about their drinking. It's pretty common. I look at the years I spent doing that and I wish I had them back. In any event, one way or another you'll find the answers you're looking for.
Personally, I don't think your approach is all that "unconventional". Many people spend many years deciding what to do about their drinking. It's pretty common. I look at the years I spent doing that and I wish I had them back. In any event, one way or another you'll find the answers you're looking for.
I don't see my current sobriety as being of an inferior grade, simply because I am currently undecided on whether I've already had my last drink.
I've enjoyed the last 8 months, and I'm sure there will be great times ahead as well.
To say that I'll never drink again, would be to set myself up for a series of disappointments. I've been there, and I've done that. The longest I lasted doing that was 75 odd days.
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To me it is simple, if you feel good about your sobriety, keep it up. If you don't, you will drink again.
But you are correct, all that matters is today, and right now you are sober, so I congratulate you on eight months well done! I hope you keep it up because remember, normal drinkers don't question their drinking, are curious about quitting and wonder if they can quit. You are exactly where you need to be at this very moment and I am glad it is here with us!
Congrats again!
But you are correct, all that matters is today, and right now you are sober, so I congratulate you on eight months well done! I hope you keep it up because remember, normal drinkers don't question their drinking, are curious about quitting and wonder if they can quit. You are exactly where you need to be at this very moment and I am glad it is here with us!
Congrats again!
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Originally Posted by NicLin
To me it is simple, if you feel good about your sobriety, keep it up. If you don't, you will drink again.
But you are correct, all that matters is today, and right now you are sober, so I congratulate you on eight months well done! I hope you keep it up because remember, normal drinkers don't question their drinking, are curious about quitting and wonder if they can quit. You are exactly where you need to be at this very moment and I am glad it is here with us!
Congrats again!
But you are correct, all that matters is today, and right now you are sober, so I congratulate you on eight months well done! I hope you keep it up because remember, normal drinkers don't question their drinking, are curious about quitting and wonder if they can quit. You are exactly where you need to be at this very moment and I am glad it is here with us!
Congrats again!
It's refreshing to see genuine encouragement for my 8 months, than simply skepticism over my methodology. Appreciate it.
It's true that I am not yet at a point where I'm no longer questioning the purpose of sobriety. Hopefully, I'll get there!
Regardless of if / when that happens though, I'll still be grateful for this time, and for the support I've had.
Have a nice day!
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You're free to plot your own journey
I think this is a little unfair tho
I think, rather than skepticism, it's a sincere desire from us who've been through the periodic versus permanent abstinence thing, to see you have long lasting permanent unconditional success.
A drinker like me who chooses to drink again is a painful thing to watch, and even more painful to live through.
My recovery kicked up another gear when I accepted 'forever.'
My relationship with alcohol was always problematic. I accepted it always would be, no matter how much time I 'took off'.
The gifts from that approach just keep coming
There may be another way to do it but I couldn't make any of the other ways I tried work.
D
I think this is a little unfair tho
It's refreshing to see genuine encouragement for my 8 months, than simply skepticism over my methodology. Appreciate it.
A drinker like me who chooses to drink again is a painful thing to watch, and even more painful to live through.
My recovery kicked up another gear when I accepted 'forever.'
My relationship with alcohol was always problematic. I accepted it always would be, no matter how much time I 'took off'.
The gifts from that approach just keep coming
There may be another way to do it but I couldn't make any of the other ways I tried work.
D
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Congratulations on your 8 months! 8 months is amazing and whenever I decided to have a sabbatical from alcohol for a period of time I could never manage more than a few days lol.
I have 16 months sober and life IS a bed of roses...at least it is compared to my life in the last few years of drinking and especially the LAST year of my drinking. I have been to hell and I never want to revisit. My worst day sober is a million times better than my best day drunk. And I have to disagree with you that the substance itself isn't the thing that brings the negative consequences. It was for me. It ruined nearly every relationship I had, almost cost me my home, my job, my daughter and my life. It was really hard for me to deal with my emotions in early sobriety as alcohol had been my crutch for so long but thanks to the 12 steps of AA and using CBT techniques I am learning how to and there is not one emotion I would want to numb out from now. And that is the truth. Because feeling my emotions means I am ALIVE and 16 months ago I did not know if I was going to live or die.
Do I sometimes miss the ease and comfort a few drinks bring? I would be lying if I said no. That's the part I miss the most. But FOR ME , I am unable to have a few drinks. Because as soon as I put one drink in me I am completely powerless over where alcohol will take me. I just cannot stop once I start and I have acceptance around that today.
We are all on our own journey and I am glad you posted. I believe it is good to share the different thoughts we have in our heads. Something that stuck out once in a book I read (can't remember which one!) was that if alcohol was so amazing and great and made life better why would anyone even want to take a break from it?? Something else to consider. Alcoholism is progressive. It does and will get worse. I can tell you that from my own experience. And what I would like to end with is this... your brain has been doing a lot of healing over the past 8 months. The longer sober time you have the more your brain will start to heal, to produce it's own dopamine and create new neural pathways. Once you take that first drink again ALL of that work will be undone. In a second. Yes you won't lose your experience of those sober months but the old neurons will fire up in your brain and be right back to exactly where you were before you quit.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best in your journey.
🙏❤🙏❤
I have 16 months sober and life IS a bed of roses...at least it is compared to my life in the last few years of drinking and especially the LAST year of my drinking. I have been to hell and I never want to revisit. My worst day sober is a million times better than my best day drunk. And I have to disagree with you that the substance itself isn't the thing that brings the negative consequences. It was for me. It ruined nearly every relationship I had, almost cost me my home, my job, my daughter and my life. It was really hard for me to deal with my emotions in early sobriety as alcohol had been my crutch for so long but thanks to the 12 steps of AA and using CBT techniques I am learning how to and there is not one emotion I would want to numb out from now. And that is the truth. Because feeling my emotions means I am ALIVE and 16 months ago I did not know if I was going to live or die.
Do I sometimes miss the ease and comfort a few drinks bring? I would be lying if I said no. That's the part I miss the most. But FOR ME , I am unable to have a few drinks. Because as soon as I put one drink in me I am completely powerless over where alcohol will take me. I just cannot stop once I start and I have acceptance around that today.
We are all on our own journey and I am glad you posted. I believe it is good to share the different thoughts we have in our heads. Something that stuck out once in a book I read (can't remember which one!) was that if alcohol was so amazing and great and made life better why would anyone even want to take a break from it?? Something else to consider. Alcoholism is progressive. It does and will get worse. I can tell you that from my own experience. And what I would like to end with is this... your brain has been doing a lot of healing over the past 8 months. The longer sober time you have the more your brain will start to heal, to produce it's own dopamine and create new neural pathways. Once you take that first drink again ALL of that work will be undone. In a second. Yes you won't lose your experience of those sober months but the old neurons will fire up in your brain and be right back to exactly where you were before you quit.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best in your journey.
🙏❤🙏❤
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Dee74
You're free to plot your own journey
I think this is a little unfair tho
I think, rather than skepticism, it's a sincere desire from us who've been through the periodic versus permanent abstinence thing, to see you have long lasting permanent unconditional success.
A drinker like me who chooses to drink again is a painful thing to watch, and even more painful to live through.
My recovery kicked up another gear when I accepted 'forever.'
My relationship with alcohol was always problematic. I accepted it always would be, no matter how much time I 'took off'.
The gifts from that approach just keep coming
There may be another way to do it but I couldn't make any of the other ways I tried work.
D
I think this is a little unfair tho
I think, rather than skepticism, it's a sincere desire from us who've been through the periodic versus permanent abstinence thing, to see you have long lasting permanent unconditional success.
A drinker like me who chooses to drink again is a painful thing to watch, and even more painful to live through.
My recovery kicked up another gear when I accepted 'forever.'
My relationship with alcohol was always problematic. I accepted it always would be, no matter how much time I 'took off'.
The gifts from that approach just keep coming
There may be another way to do it but I couldn't make any of the other ways I tried work.
D
You're the last person on this community I'd want to be ungrateful to. And that was never my intention to begin with.
I will always, always value and respect your opinion.
Personally, I think you, and anyone who doesn't crave anymore, regardless of their emotional status, is privileged. I'm certainly not there yet, despite this time having a more meaningful spell.
As of now, I can only aspire to that teflon-esque mindset, where nothing can shackle me enough for me to crave a beer.
Hence, I don't touch the word 'never' just quite yet.
I have only feelings of gratitude towards you.
Have a nice evening ahead!
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by snitch
Congratulations on your 8 months! 8 months is amazing and whenever I decided to have a sabbatical from alcohol for a period of time I could never manage more than a few days lol.
I have 16 months sober and life IS a bed of roses...at least it is compared to my life in the last few years of drinking and especially the LAST year of my drinking. I have been to hell and I never want to revisit. My worst day sober is a million times better than my best day drunk. And I have to disagree with you that the substance itself isn't the thing that brings the negative consequences. It was for me. It ruined nearly every relationship I had, almost cost me my home, my job, my daughter and my life. It was really hard for me to deal with my emotions in early sobriety as alcohol had been my crutch for so long but thanks to the 12 steps of AA and using CBT techniques I am learning how to and there is not one emotion I would want to numb out from now. And that is the truth. Because feeling my emotions means I am ALIVE and 16 months ago I did not know if I was going to live or die.
Do I sometimes miss the ease and comfort a few drinks bring? I would be lying if I said no. That's the part I miss the most. But FOR ME , I am unable to have a few drinks. Because as soon as I put one drink in me I am completely powerless over where alcohol will take me. I just cannot stop once I start and I have acceptance around that today.
We are all on our own journey and I am glad you posted. I believe it is good to share the different thoughts we have in our heads. Something that stuck out once in a book I read (can't remember which one!) was that if alcohol was so amazing and great and made life better why would anyone even want to take a break from it?? Something else to consider. Alcoholism is progressive. It does and will get worse. I can tell you that from my own experience. And what I would like to end with is this... your brain has been doing a lot of healing over the past 8 months. The longer sober time you have the more your brain will start to heal, to produce it's own dopamine and create new neural pathways. Once you take that first drink again ALL of that work will be undone. In a second. Yes you won't lose your experience of those sober months but the old neurons will fire up in your brain and be right back to exactly where you were before you quit.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best in your journey.
🙏❤🙏❤
I have 16 months sober and life IS a bed of roses...at least it is compared to my life in the last few years of drinking and especially the LAST year of my drinking. I have been to hell and I never want to revisit. My worst day sober is a million times better than my best day drunk. And I have to disagree with you that the substance itself isn't the thing that brings the negative consequences. It was for me. It ruined nearly every relationship I had, almost cost me my home, my job, my daughter and my life. It was really hard for me to deal with my emotions in early sobriety as alcohol had been my crutch for so long but thanks to the 12 steps of AA and using CBT techniques I am learning how to and there is not one emotion I would want to numb out from now. And that is the truth. Because feeling my emotions means I am ALIVE and 16 months ago I did not know if I was going to live or die.
Do I sometimes miss the ease and comfort a few drinks bring? I would be lying if I said no. That's the part I miss the most. But FOR ME , I am unable to have a few drinks. Because as soon as I put one drink in me I am completely powerless over where alcohol will take me. I just cannot stop once I start and I have acceptance around that today.
We are all on our own journey and I am glad you posted. I believe it is good to share the different thoughts we have in our heads. Something that stuck out once in a book I read (can't remember which one!) was that if alcohol was so amazing and great and made life better why would anyone even want to take a break from it?? Something else to consider. Alcoholism is progressive. It does and will get worse. I can tell you that from my own experience. And what I would like to end with is this... your brain has been doing a lot of healing over the past 8 months. The longer sober time you have the more your brain will start to heal, to produce it's own dopamine and create new neural pathways. Once you take that first drink again ALL of that work will be undone. In a second. Yes you won't lose your experience of those sober months but the old neurons will fire up in your brain and be right back to exactly where you were before you quit.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best in your journey.
🙏❤🙏❤
Congrats on 16 months. I'm sure hitting the 1 year mark recently must have made you very happy. I'm looking forward to my day too!
It must feel so empowering now that you've conquered your addiction, and are effectively turning your life around. I guess I'm not quite there yet. But optimistic nevertheless!
I don't doubt for one nano-second, that if I drink again, I'll be right back to square one. The hangovers will return, and so will all the other negative aspects associated with drinking.
My issue, is simply emotional and circumstantial. My current sober life is unfortunately, no great shakes. I still have the same emotional stressors I did when I was drinking.
I'll be the first to admit, I went into sobriety with high hopes, and figured it would alleviate a lot of my troubles. That hasn't happened directly. But I do feel a lot better mentally, and physically.
Do I miss the numbness though? You bet.
Anyway, thanks again, and have a great day / night!
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Pippin - you've started a fascinating thread and it's been really interesting to read your thoughts and the responses of others. I haven't much to bring to the party. I'm only 3 months sober (this time) and the only difference between now and my other attempts at sobriety is that now I've realised that the way I drank didn't provide me with anything worth having, emotionally, intellectually, financially or socially and it certainly never 'solved' anything for me. Not even comfortably numb! Although I didn't necessarily realise any of that at the time.
When I was drinking I so much looked forward to that cold glass of wine at the end of the day (every day). I really felt I deserved it, was entitled to it and that I needed it to relax. And in fact that first glass was wonderful. And it always, always, always led to a bottle, at least. And that wasn't at all wonderful. Anything but. Night after night of broken sleep and morning after morning of remorse, self- hatred and feeling so rough.
I think, for me, the problem was and is that drinking seemed to offer so much and it seemed laughable (usually by mid afternoon each day) to believe that I wasn't capable of simply drinking a single glass if I bought a bottle of wine. Even though that never, ever happened. Not once. So I kept on buying and drinking the bottles.
So that's me. I can't drink single glasses, only bottles. And whatever the promise of that first drink, I never ever end up feeling good or better or happy.
You've gone 8 months without any alcohol. That's envy making and I would love to be saying that and hopefully I will sometime next year. It doesn't even sound like you are struggling more that you're feeling regretful for something you've left behind. My feeling is that if you feel drinking really gave you more than not drinking then I suspect it's game over when you get to year one. But because you've achieved so much I'd give that question really careful thought.
Thank you for posting. It was helpful for me to consider your perspective and to be prompted do a bit of analysis as to why I feel so fervently that I can't let alcohol back in my life.
When I was drinking I so much looked forward to that cold glass of wine at the end of the day (every day). I really felt I deserved it, was entitled to it and that I needed it to relax. And in fact that first glass was wonderful. And it always, always, always led to a bottle, at least. And that wasn't at all wonderful. Anything but. Night after night of broken sleep and morning after morning of remorse, self- hatred and feeling so rough.
I think, for me, the problem was and is that drinking seemed to offer so much and it seemed laughable (usually by mid afternoon each day) to believe that I wasn't capable of simply drinking a single glass if I bought a bottle of wine. Even though that never, ever happened. Not once. So I kept on buying and drinking the bottles.
So that's me. I can't drink single glasses, only bottles. And whatever the promise of that first drink, I never ever end up feeling good or better or happy.
You've gone 8 months without any alcohol. That's envy making and I would love to be saying that and hopefully I will sometime next year. It doesn't even sound like you are struggling more that you're feeling regretful for something you've left behind. My feeling is that if you feel drinking really gave you more than not drinking then I suspect it's game over when you get to year one. But because you've achieved so much I'd give that question really careful thought.
Thank you for posting. It was helpful for me to consider your perspective and to be prompted do a bit of analysis as to why I feel so fervently that I can't let alcohol back in my life.
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Pippo, thanks for your two cents. You remind me of someone . . . oh yeah, me! It’s clear you are highly intelligent with a nimble mind so you’re confident in being a lone voice with your perspective the way you parry the replies. I wish you were my nephew so we could go through this together. I am highly emotional & I drank to calm down what I thought of as “mental exhilaration”. The problem came when I drank more & more & became physically dependent on the alcohol with all the associated withdrawal symptoms between drinks, even after just an hour or two. And the liver damage. So I became convinced that this drinking plan was not productive & formulated a new plan to calm down. One more positive.
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Originally Posted by Pippo
I couldn't agree more.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
I do believe there is a trade-off between the temporary numbness I receive from booze, and the price I am forced to pay for the same.
The million dollar question is certainly whether it's worth the price.
My thoughts on the question are fleeting. On most occasions, the pros of sobriety outweigh the cons. But it's certainly not a perfect record by any means.
Kudos to anybody who believes that there's absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, to be gained from numbing their emotions. I can't come to grips with that concept myself. Just doesn't work. Anti-depressants work the same way, and our society embraces and promotes those all the way.
I literally have no more fight left in me anymore.
Numbing emotions can give a temporary respite but they always come back unless they're dealt with. There's probably some therapeutic value to numbing your emotions before they surface again. But, they will always surface again.
Sobriety isn't a magical world of unicorns and happiness. Life is still going to happen whether you're using or drinking. It's how we deal with it, or not deal with it that forms the pros and cons for sobriety.
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Originally Posted by Pippo
I don't see my current sobriety as being of an inferior grade, simply because I am currently undecided on whether I've already had my last drink.
My point is simply that keeping the door open is well, keeping the door open. Which I guess I don't understand why you would want to do that when you also know this:
Originally Posted by Pippo
I don't doubt for one nano-second, that if I drink again, I'll be right back to square one. The hangovers will return, and so will all the other negative aspects associated with drinking.
I did the same as you except that I went 10 years sober and then drank again. Maybe your experience will be different, but mine did not end well. I wish I had sense enough not to go back, but we all do what we need to do. I'm not judging you or telling you what to do, just responding to your post the only way I know how, which is honestly.
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