Finalcall

34 days behind me and the desire to drink is with me today.
I notice myself trying to justify it.
I feel like I can judge these thoughts as if they are someone else.
I do think that it could be possible to moderate in the future however I think that right now it is easier to abstain than to moderate.
Oh hang on... Moderate alcohol consumption is like 2 beers??? So half an hour of keeping my hand busy. That wouldn't be enough.

SoberRican

Hello there yeah the moderation thing is not for me. If I were good at it I wouldnt be here lol. ✌ congrats on sober time

Callas

Moderating for me will be boring and an extreme waste of time. The point of alcohol is to get drunk. That I thankfully no longer want to do. I miss the nice drunk feeling but I sure as hell dont miss the inevitable horrible consequences. Like most things in life this is weighing up the pros and cons. And the answer is always the same.

Ghostlight1

Congratulations on thirty four days.
It sounds like you're bargaining with yourself. For me, that's a game of Russian roulette. Do it long enough and something bad is going to happen.
I am a real alcoholic, there's no such thing as moderation for me. I drank to get drunk, and after ten and a half years sober, I can barely recall what feeling drunk was like. But oh do I remember the consequences. That's kind of odd , now that I think about it.

I hope you don't let you bargain yourself into drinking. What would be the point In moderating? There is no middle ground for me. I simply cannot control my drinking, nor will I ever be. I know this to be true.
With more sober time you may, if you're a real alcoholic, realize this too.
Best to you in sobriety.

Mummyto2

Hodd

Finalcall

Unfortunately I believe this to be true.

brighterday1234

Tailai

Finalcall

Over the past few weeks I have definitely had and seen the possibilitys of a better life. I have found joy without drinking

August252015

Great job on 34 days. I hope you put any inkling of the moderation idea aside- it could turn into action today, tomorrow, in a week if you keep on toying with it.

Sober time can convince us completely that our only option for a healthy, happy and truly less problem-filled life is sobriety.

Keep going.

DriGuy

I think judging your thoughts as an outsider is a good thing. It's part of why psychiatry and even forums like SR are helpful. Expanding your perception of yourself can help see yourself clearer. But you still have to be careful. The perceptions of others can be flawed as much or more than your own. So critical thought is always necessary. But that feeling of seeing yourself as an outsider, can help expand perception.

I think the idea that alcoholics can moderate is a perception from inside. But it's highly influenced by an idealized concept of what normal is and a desire to reach that idealized state. An outside view of ourselves more clearly sees ourselves floundering, addicted, and acting in our own worst interests. Viewed as an outsider, it's easier to understand that.

Alcoholics view normies from the outside. We want what they have, but we lack the clarity to understand that we are different than normies. We can only achieve what they seem to have through abstinence, while they can achieve it through moderation. This seems like a universal flaw in the alcoholic mind, and we need to see that for what it is, not for what we want.

Sober369

I can't moderate, either. I know, I tried for thirty years. I was reading Alcohol Explained last night and it was talking about how as time passes, our bad memories of our drinking can fade and the good memories can get stronger. We can end up looking back on drinking with rose colored glasses. I did what he said and wrote out how drinking made me feel. I did it while I was still drinking, which is a plus, but you can do it with some time sober, too. Really think back to how it made you feel while you were drinking and the next day or so. For me, there was a short initial pleasure and relaxation, followed by a headache, feeling tired, wanting to stay away from everyone because I knew it would show, regret that I had drank again, loss of muscle control. And that doesn't even take in to account the horrid next morning. I'm trying hard to remember it how it was and not create a happy drunk in my imagination.

Atlast9999

fini

“I do think that it could be possible to moderate in the future...”
i wonder what makes you think that? a wish?
what is your past experience telling you?

ColoradoRocky

Hiya FinalCall,

I love the nickname....reminds me of what I heard all too frequently from the end of the bar: "Last call!"

Thirty-four days? I know men and women with 34 years who can't moderate, and wouldn't try for their lives (which it is, actually).

Busy hands, indeed. Well, my Nana from Sicilia taught me to crochet when I was a little boy, and when I first started in AA I picked up crochet again. Got a nice blanket out of it.

Better than the alternative, if you know what I mean.