Wanted to check in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1
Wanted to check in
Hello All,
I’ve been reading here for years and have so much respect. Never spent time here and left feeling worse. I’ve never woken up the day after and regretted not drinking the night before. I’ve often regretted having a drink the night before. Most of my worst decisions in life have been intoxicated, spanning 20+ years. Many of my happiest moments have as well if I’m being honest: celebrations, holidays, weddings, parties, etc. I grew up working hard and playing hard. And it was not all bad. But as I’ve gotten older (early 40s, married with kids), the drinking takes more of a toll. Socially, drinking is becoming less a focus. At the same time, the stresses of my life have increased and I’m finding myself drinking on nights I never used to, at home, to avoid the stress of the next day. I want to be healthy, but also cannot imagine a life completely sober. But I also wish I could. My dad was an alcoholic as are other family members. My dad hurt a lot of people including physically while drunk. He tried to make amends but damage was done. I don’t want to hurt my family in the same way. But I don’t think I will and am probably just too selfish right now to give up what brings me some pleasure.
I’ve been in this mind frame for years. Thought maybe checking in and reading comments might give me some new perspective. Thanks for reading.
I’ve been reading here for years and have so much respect. Never spent time here and left feeling worse. I’ve never woken up the day after and regretted not drinking the night before. I’ve often regretted having a drink the night before. Most of my worst decisions in life have been intoxicated, spanning 20+ years. Many of my happiest moments have as well if I’m being honest: celebrations, holidays, weddings, parties, etc. I grew up working hard and playing hard. And it was not all bad. But as I’ve gotten older (early 40s, married with kids), the drinking takes more of a toll. Socially, drinking is becoming less a focus. At the same time, the stresses of my life have increased and I’m finding myself drinking on nights I never used to, at home, to avoid the stress of the next day. I want to be healthy, but also cannot imagine a life completely sober. But I also wish I could. My dad was an alcoholic as are other family members. My dad hurt a lot of people including physically while drunk. He tried to make amends but damage was done. I don’t want to hurt my family in the same way. But I don’t think I will and am probably just too selfish right now to give up what brings me some pleasure.
I’ve been in this mind frame for years. Thought maybe checking in and reading comments might give me some new perspective. Thanks for reading.
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Welcome and thank you for posting! I felt compelled to respond because your story sounds ominously like mine, approximately two years before I hit bottom (literally) by blacking out, having seizures, and ending up in rehab.
Once upon a time I had an off switch - I could sense when I had a bit too much, and stop drinking. I am not sure exactly when that changed, all I do recall is waking up places and not recalling how I got there. This started to be a regular thing every time I drank, so I started drinking at home so I would be safe.
Alcoholism is progressive, and final. You may not have crossed the line yet, but just that you are questioning your drinking habits is a good sign.
Once upon a time I had an off switch - I could sense when I had a bit too much, and stop drinking. I am not sure exactly when that changed, all I do recall is waking up places and not recalling how I got there. This started to be a regular thing every time I drank, so I started drinking at home so I would be safe.
Alcoholism is progressive, and final. You may not have crossed the line yet, but just that you are questioning your drinking habits is a good sign.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi and welcome 6000dec 
I couldn't imagine a sober life either..until I committed to one.
The good people here helped show me a sober life - a GREAT sober life - was possible....for anyone
We have no reason to lie
D
I couldn't imagine a sober life either..until I committed to one.
The good people here helped show me a sober life - a GREAT sober life - was possible....for anyone
We have no reason to lie
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Hello 6000. You have been around here a long long time and this is your first post. Based on your join date you waited over five years before posting yourself. IME when a quiet man talks it's time to listen. More than happy to provide some feedback. I hope it helps.
I’ve been reading here for years and have so much respect. Never spent time here and left feeling worse.
Amen - this is a great place to gain some serenity. I read here almost every day
I’ve never woken up the day after and regretted not drinking the night before. I’ve often regretted having a drink the night before.
You got that right. Ever experienced this? I wake up in the morning hung over and tell myself "I'm not going to drink today" Then by 5:00 the same day I am drinking again and not liking myself. For me this went on for a long time. Makes me really happy that I woke up sober this morning.
Most of my worst decisions in life have been intoxicated, spanning 20+ years. Many of my happiest moments have as well if I’m being honest: celebrations, holidays, weddings, parties, etc. I grew up working hard and playing hard. And it was not all bad.
Well if we are always drinking then by definition all our experiences both positive and negative involve alcohol.
But as I’ve gotten older (early 40s, married with kids), the drinking takes more of a toll. Socially, drinking is becoming less a focus.
Same here. It sure does take more of a toll as we age. That's part of the process. The buzz gets less pleasant and the negative side effects increase. Also tolerances go up so we tend to drink more over time which makes it even worse.
At the same time, the stresses of my life have increased and I’m finding myself drinking on nights I never used to, at home, to avoid the stress of the next day.
You mean like every day as soon as you get home from work? At least that's where I was in 2015.
I want to be healthy, but also cannot imagine a life completely sober. But I also wish I could.
Yes this idea takes a long time to get used to. For me it was one day at a time. Still is.
My dad was an alcoholic as are other family members. My dad hurt a lot of people including physically while drunk. He tried to make amends but damage was done. I don’t want to hurt my family in the same way. But I don’t think I will and am probably just too selfish right now to give up what brings me some pleasure.
You may not get like your dad but if you keep drinking it is highly likely the damage to you and your family will increase. For many of us there is a line that gets crossed and the damage ramps up very quickly. I hope you do not reach that point.
I’ve been in this mind frame for years. Thought maybe checking in and reading comments might give me some new perspective. Thanks for reading.
Sure - thanks for posting. Let us know how thing are going. There's a lot of support here.
I’ve been reading here for years and have so much respect. Never spent time here and left feeling worse.
Amen - this is a great place to gain some serenity. I read here almost every day
I’ve never woken up the day after and regretted not drinking the night before. I’ve often regretted having a drink the night before.
You got that right. Ever experienced this? I wake up in the morning hung over and tell myself "I'm not going to drink today" Then by 5:00 the same day I am drinking again and not liking myself. For me this went on for a long time. Makes me really happy that I woke up sober this morning.
Most of my worst decisions in life have been intoxicated, spanning 20+ years. Many of my happiest moments have as well if I’m being honest: celebrations, holidays, weddings, parties, etc. I grew up working hard and playing hard. And it was not all bad.
Well if we are always drinking then by definition all our experiences both positive and negative involve alcohol.
But as I’ve gotten older (early 40s, married with kids), the drinking takes more of a toll. Socially, drinking is becoming less a focus.
Same here. It sure does take more of a toll as we age. That's part of the process. The buzz gets less pleasant and the negative side effects increase. Also tolerances go up so we tend to drink more over time which makes it even worse.
At the same time, the stresses of my life have increased and I’m finding myself drinking on nights I never used to, at home, to avoid the stress of the next day.
You mean like every day as soon as you get home from work? At least that's where I was in 2015.
I want to be healthy, but also cannot imagine a life completely sober. But I also wish I could.
Yes this idea takes a long time to get used to. For me it was one day at a time. Still is.
My dad was an alcoholic as are other family members. My dad hurt a lot of people including physically while drunk. He tried to make amends but damage was done. I don’t want to hurt my family in the same way. But I don’t think I will and am probably just too selfish right now to give up what brings me some pleasure.
You may not get like your dad but if you keep drinking it is highly likely the damage to you and your family will increase. For many of us there is a line that gets crossed and the damage ramps up very quickly. I hope you do not reach that point.
I’ve been in this mind frame for years. Thought maybe checking in and reading comments might give me some new perspective. Thanks for reading.
Sure - thanks for posting. Let us know how thing are going. There's a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
If you’re an alcoholic then things will get worse and you’ll turn into that person you detest right now. Alcoholism will always end in prison, psychiatric hospital, death if it’s not arrested and treated. Sounds harsh but it’s the reality of alcoholism. Certainly would be for this Alkie.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by 6000dec 
Thought maybe checking in and reading comments might give me some new perspective. .
You're not ready. Maybe because drinking is still pleasurable for you; maybe because you are afraid. I don't know.
What I do know is my sobriety has been a blessing and my only regret is not doing it sooner.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I only stopped when it started to impact my health and relationships and career...and I wouldn't stop until those things started to happen cause like you I enjoyed it...However, I found it inevitable that I would die an early death if I did not stop...
So I stopped...
So I stopped...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Well - personal preference - I'm not a big fan of the 'you're not ready' pronouncement...I was definitely looking for something when I went to the trouble of finding SR
What I think people here are trying to say is reading here is good - but involving yourself in the community is better.
We have threads every month to support those quitting in each month, Why not check out our September 2019 thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2019-a-14.html (Class of September Part 1 2019)
D
What I think people here are trying to say is reading here is good - but involving yourself in the community is better.
We have threads every month to support those quitting in each month, Why not check out our September 2019 thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2019-a-14.html (Class of September Part 1 2019)
D
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