shane1982

Hi
just looking for advice or support. I am a binge drinker that can sustain about a month without drink...then I have one drink and just can't stop
to the point of blackout...very early do I go out and not black out which is very scary. The reason why I don't drink on a weekly basis is because I know I can't handle it especially the anxiety and self loathing that follows the next day. I don't drink in the house as my partner is in recovery and we don't have alcohol in the house and plus I have never been a house drinker. Suppose my problem is I know it is time to give up and I can give up for about a month but I just can't stay stopped....so any advice would be welcomed thank you

Mummyto2

shane1982

Thank you

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

So after a month, what makes you pick up that drink.

shane1982

I'm not sure, it's normally because I go out...it starts off innocent enough, I will say I will have a few drinks then I just lose control.

doggonecarl

The pipe dream of every alcoholic...to drink normally. Seems you are past that. The solution is to never drink again. And to accept never drinking again.

shane1982

Yes I know it is time to give it up for good hence why I am here

August252015

Welcome.
You have shared that alcohol is causing problems and your partner is in recovery - what's their program? Is this something y'all have discussed? Do you both participate in supporting that part of your relationship?

I'm asking because it would seem like if it's already a "familiar" thing in your house then bringing it up could be easier?

I'm an AA person - plenty of people here are, and there's other paths people here forge successfully - but we all have to stop drinking and choose to live sober, which involves a lot for me - and it is very worth it.

shane1982

Hi ,thanksfor the reply.
He is in AA...I am in also in FAA. Which is another reason that I have to give up alcohol. I am fully supportive of his recovery and we are very open with each other....he obviously knows I'm a binge drinker but I am not sure if he thinks this is a problem. I have not said to him yet about giving up but ovously that is a conversation I will have...suppose I haven't really explain ed myself right in the post. I am aware that I need to stop drinking. I know I can not drink normally. I can stop drinking that's no problem but what I cant do is stay stopped...how do I do this?

Hope1989

This is literally exactly my problem. Same time frame and all.

doggonecarl

Same way as your partner, I'd think. If you see it working for him, it can work for you.

August252015

Right, that's my thought too - AA as your first step, whether you are ready to discuss it with him or not? You probably know about the program (?) if he's in AA and working it and has a sponsor and so on - I'd start there.

abgator

I'm that same type of alcoholic now. I was a daily drinker for years until I decided to cut back or try to stop. It actually got worse for me in my new routine of being sober for 4 to 6 weeks and then go on a week long bender. I actually found it easier to stop daily drinking than it has been to quite the benders.

Maybe you have a leg up here and not because you're admitting it's a problem, but because you're not saying there is a difficult trigger. Most alcoholics have a reason to drink. Anxiety, depression, pain, abuse, etc. Those mental triggers can be very difficult to overcome. If your only trigger to your alcohol abuse is just being social, start with suggesting to meet at a coffee house or somewhere that isn't a bar. A partner in recovery is a big bonus. Pay attention to what they do and join in if you can't resist that urge to go out and drink.

Callas

Give up on going out for a while. It’s worth it.

shane1982

Its frustrating but I know I have to give up

SoberRican

Try chilling at home. And or go somewhere not booze related. ✌

Dee74

Hi and welcome Shane

In the end I had to accept that it was the first drink that did the damage not the last,. The forst drink changed me into someone I didn;t want to be.
I stopped taking the first drink and life got much better - and so did I.

I love my life and I love who I am now - I could never say that as a drinker.

I hope you'll decide to give not drinking at all a try

D

Anna

Shane, I think staying stopped involves making lifestyle changes. You can try to reduce stress in your life, set up a new exercise plan, avoid going out to bars and other places where there is alcohol, maybe remove some friends/family from your life who are toxic to you? Try to come up with a plan that will help you to live a healthy and peaceful lifestyle.

shane1982

Thank you all for all your replys....I'm still trying to navigate the messages...I thought I could just reply individually....lots of useful suggestions that I'm going to take on bored. I'm going to have to make some changes that are going to improve my life...so I know it will be hard but it will be worth it...thank you all these are things I thought about but when they come from others they seem to be more powerful...so thanks all

abgator

If there is any one thing you take from this, that is it. Almost no one can get and stay sober on their own. Many of us have tried, but without support, it's damn near futile.