August252015

I had to finally be completely honest with my therapist about my drinking- which had continued well into a couple yrs with her. She knew. More importantly- THAT was the real starting point of truly dealing with EVERYTHING else. Just my $0.02.

And in my earlier post I meant I was given a yr, 18 mo to live

abgator

Yeah I lied about my level of drinking for years to my primary care and psychiatrist. Well, to everyone, including myself. For years

DreamCatcher17

Hey Ladybug,

I will never forget my last drunk. I will never forget what I am like on alcohol. For many reasons,
1. I CANT forget. If I forget I will go right back to it (most likely)
2. I go to AA or come here to write, talk, share.. This helps me keep the alcohol issue at the forefront of my brain.

I am almost 2 years in, I have no want, need desire or craving for alcohol. That lifestyle is no longer apart of me or my story going forward.

Best wishes
DC

SoberCAH

LB -

This is always a good topic.

I have been going to AA for most of my adult life, so I get to routinely see others who come in off of the street in the same condition I was in (which sounds almost identical to the description of your circumstances in the OP).

I hope that you select and follow a plan of recovery and not try to do things on your own.

I would be dead had I tried that approach.

I also encourage you to be honest with your therapist.

Her job, of course, is to try to help you - not judge you and shame you.

Alcoholism and addiction are commonplace problems.

DriGuy

I'm with you here. Take your time, and just do it when it feels right.

When I first committed to sobriety, I didn't tell anyone, except my AA group. I had too much experience trying and then failing to be sure right off the bat that abstinence would work, and I didn't want to make promises or say I quit to friends, only to be back in the bar guzzling swill a week later.

Within two weeks, I was clearly over the hump, and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but there was still this lingering wonder, "Can this be for real?" I still didn't tell anyone until I got over that lingering disbelief somewhere between one and two months. It was odd. I knew I would succeed, but dumbfounded to the point of mistrust of my own confidence. But it was indeed real, and it stuck.

I started telling others about my quitting, mostly on a need to know basis, and there were even times when I had to fight the urge to scream to the world, including strangers, about this stunning change that had overcome me. I can talk about it here, where people can understand to various degrees, but out in the real world? Nope, I didn't want to scare people away.

A few of my friends did understand and were very much in approval. Oddly, the approval sometimes came from those I would least expect. My ex, who was and still is a good friend, had a mild interest in the situation, even though she had a better knowledge of my drinking than anyone. I guess it was because my drinking didn't bother her. She never cared that much, even though she was not as bad as I was.

Most people reacted much like my wife: "Stopped drinking huh? Cool, I guess."

Ladybug47

That had to be so scary and a huge wake up call. I cannot even imagine. Especially at such a young age.

In an earlier post you said you reason for not drinking is that you want to live. I feel that. Not only do I want to live but I want to have fun doing it. To be fit, healthy, energized, and thriving. There is no room for those things AND alcohol.

Ladybug47

Thanks everyone for your concern about me not revealing alcohol issues to my therapist. I am listening and taking it into consideration.

I am very aware that I am still so new to this and relapse is possible. I don't plan on ever letting that happen. But that's why in my OP I wanted to get to the bottom of 'not forgetting' why I stopped drinking. I feel so good right now at day 48. I'm making progress in other areas of my life that I've neglected for so long.

From everyone's responses to my original question I have come to the conclusion that I have to keep reminding myself daily that I'm not drinking today. Every day. And I will continue the plan that I've set for myself:

1. Daily walking, running, or hiking
2. Prioritizing sleep
3. Staying away from drinking 'friends'
4. Eating nutritious foods
5. Visiting this forum and listening to recovery podcasts
6. Working on codependence and self worth issues in therapy

I feel like I have a fragile ecosystem going right now, and I don't want to change it. It feels good and it is working for me. But my mind is open to all points of view and I remain open to changing course if need be.