Anyone accused of drinking when your NOT?
D♭7♭9♯9♯11♭13
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
If anyone has ever lied to those same people about their drinking, especially many times, then it's fair game and he or she shouldn't get indignant at the accusations.
I never have that problem because I was in the situation where I could always be 100% honest and direct whenever asked (some people stopped asking as they really didn't want the answer) and it wouldn't affect my day-to-day.
Time builds trust. Give it time.
I never have that problem because I was in the situation where I could always be 100% honest and direct whenever asked (some people stopped asking as they really didn't want the answer) and it wouldn't affect my day-to-day.
Time builds trust. Give it time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Yes. My situation was a little different. When I had been sober about two years, my dad accused me of relapsing (on the phone). He lived 400 miles from me. He hadn't even seen me in person in months. He thought I relapsed because I hadn't called him in some time. I hadn't called him because every time I did, he made me feel guilty about something and I felt horribly judged by him. That behavior was nothing new on his part - what was new was that in sobriety I wasn't as willing to put up with it. I never explained any of this to him. It wouldn't have made any difference. When he said that to me, I was so angry. But I didn't say anything. Just told him no, I was still sober. That was one of the last conversations we had. He died. I regret that I let that accusation affect me as much as it did.
Yea I got a little pissed at my son...but I realize today that was all about "Me"...I could have handled the situation differently rather than yelling at the top of my lungs that I AM NOT DRUNK.
I could have calmly said...I can see why you would think that I am drunk...but honestly I am not....that probably would have been better...LOL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
If anyone has ever lied to those same people about their drinking, especially many times, then it's fair game and he or she shouldn't get indignant at the accusations.
I never have that problem because I was in the situation where I could always be 100% honest and direct whenever asked (some people stopped asking as they really didn't want the answer) and it wouldn't affect my day-to-day.
Time builds trust. Give it time.
I never have that problem because I was in the situation where I could always be 100% honest and direct whenever asked (some people stopped asking as they really didn't want the answer) and it wouldn't affect my day-to-day.
Time builds trust. Give it time.
I could have calmly said...I can see why you would think that I am drunk...but honestly I am not....that probably would have been better...LOL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I could have calmly said...I can see why you would think that I am drunk...but honestly I am not....that probably would have been better...LOL
I'm better today.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yeah....yelling at the kids is not the way to go. I just have to say, again, that there are major trust issues when a parent drinks and repeats a cycle of sometimes-sober-then-not. I hope you will choose a path to stay sober for good.
I've been accused of being high an awful lot, and in 99% of those cases, I was actually as high as a kite. In the 1% of cases that I wasn't, I would get really frustrated with the accuser. But, eventually, I realised that it wasn't exactly a massive jump for people to accuse me of being high considering I spend 99% of my life inebriated on some kind of substance.
Friends and family lose so much trust in us when we're using or drinking. They also become accustomed to lies and manipulation so their accusations are pretty well-founded.
Natom
Friends and family lose so much trust in us when we're using or drinking. They also become accustomed to lies and manipulation so their accusations are pretty well-founded.
Natom
I was quite a public drunk.
No one has seen me drunk in a pretty good while, but that would have been a fair question or accusation early on since I was drunk everyday for years and years.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Someone with a lot of sobriety recently told me something that really hit me. He said that people close to us cant understand why it looks like we are essentially slowly trying to kill ourselves when we are drinking. That made me aware of just how baffling this disease is, especially to those who arent alcoholics. So yes it can hurt when we are wrongly accused, especially cause we do work hard for sobriety. However,our past had to be so painful, trying, and confusing for those close to us, we need to remember they need time to heal too.
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