Wastinglife

After a summer of debauchery, I come crawling back. The most success I've had in maintaining sobriety was when I used this site in conjunction with daily AA meetings. I got a sponsor recently and joined a home group. I think I need to treat recovery like a full-time job because the minute I let my guard down, I'll have a beer in my hand.

I have a long overdue appointment with my doctor this week and I am considering Antabuse. I am in my early 40's and can't live like this.

brighterday1234

PalmerSage

I think you'll get it right when you finally decide that you are OVER living like this, and are willing to take every bit of advice you are given and put it into action. We are here with you.

doggonecarl

At least put as much effort into getting sober as you put into drinking.

DriGuy

Recovery is full time, much more so than a job. You can't cheat in recovery and get away with it.

Callas

Much more commitment than a full time job, a relationship...anything actually.

lessgravity

WL, I remember you. We've both been on this site a long time now. I've done the work to get sober and given myself the life I knew I had denied myself for years. Are you willing to do the work?

least

I hope you'll use the support here to get sober for good.

Hawkeye13

Wishing you the best WL

Seems like you must be running out of relapses at this point.
I hope this time was the last time.

Wastinglife

I am far too old to have week long benders where I have no idea what I was doing. I lose phones, keys, wallets, not to mention spending money that I should be using for food/clothes/necessities. I can feel my mortality.

Sober369

I have done the same thing, WL. I have 12 days today! But, it's been a lot of relapses along the way. Every time I relapse, the coming back is that much harder. That's part of what is motivating me now. I've had to really pull out all the stops, do everything related to recovery.
I had a very hard time and almost drank tonight. I was sitting in the parking lot of the liquor store eating fried chicken, listening to a recovery podcast, and about to call a sober friend when it went "poof" and left. The wonderful feeling of knowing I didn't drink is worth that 30 minutes or so of struggle. I do want to get past that, though, to the point where it is not a struggle. I know there will always be work to do to stay sober, but it won't always be the battle with cravings.
I'm glad you're back! I look forward to hearing your plan for staying sober. It will help me build mine.

August252015

glad you made it make - hope you make use of this opportunity. we don't get an unlimited number.

Stable

Primativo

Well done. The good thing is the cravings really do get weaker and weaker and then just mostly disappear. What you did today to overcome the craving, the next time it hits, it will be weaker, and you will be even stronger. Then what is left eventually is the romanticising / idealistic view of drinking, which can be dangerous too of course, if complacency sets in, but they aren't as acute as cravings.


I can sit in a bar on a good day and I feel fairly comfortable without an alcoholic drink, and with no desire for a drink. I can go to the bar and order an alcoholic drink for a friend without it crossing my mind to get one for myself. Then again, sometimes I get bad days where drinking is more tempting, and then it's about protecting myself so I'm not in situations where I'm at risk of being tempted to drink.

It's is up and down, but the good days get more frequent and it really does get easier the longer it gets from the last drink. That's not to say that I want to sit in a bar much nowadays, especially for long periods, not really my scene.

Arpeggioh

You will eventually reach the point some of us got to: honestly can't do this anymore, stop fighting with booze, it always wins, I give up. Trouble is, so many dangers surround you in the meantime: accidents, health issues, mental illness; every binge at this point is a real crap shoot. I know because I was there. You have the power to stop this train wreck. I hope you do it soon.

Dee74

It's pretty simple to get it right but it's not always easy, at least in the beginning.

For me, once I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was toxic and I was better off not drinking at all, life got a lot better

the 20 years before that - trying to drink and not have any bad consequences - was utterly futile.

D

August252015

So many things evolved and kept making sense as I began to view recovery as the backdrop of my life.

nez

I treat recovery like breathing because the minute I let my guard down and stop breathing, things go sideways.

nmd

Welcome back old friend. Sounds like you have a good start!

BeABetterMan