Maybe I'm ready for a social life again.
 

4 weeks in. When I get through the day and wake up tomorrow it will be my longest time sober for 14 years.
I haven't had a social life without beer.
I have been just a solid dad and I would assume a better husband over the last days. I have avoided even phone calls with friends and family like I have shrunk my bubble of attention to my immediate family. I have felt as if that is all I have space for in my mind. Sort of a start small attitude to life.
Beer is still in my thoughts. Too often.
I'm going to dig in the vege garden.
Thanks sr

I waited a little longer until I threw mself out there again :)

I spent that time building up a social life that wasn't dependent on drinking...parks and walks, picnics, museums art galleries, movies, cafes, hobbies, interests...

I called that building up my sober muscles. I had to reach a point where beer wasn't on my mind regularly, and where I felt like I preferred being sober.

You may be ready - I've no idea - but at 4 weeks I wasn't there yet...not by a long way.

When I knew nothing or no one could sway me from my chosen path - I was ready.

Go easy - and draw up a plan for staying sober.

D

Probably the reason for my post. I'm not ready. I really wish I was.
i like the sober muscle analogy, it gives hope of training it.

My sobriety was fragile in the early weeks. I had to protect it. But since I was a always a home-alone drinker, I had to get used to being home alone without drinking. It took some determination but I got stronger with more sober time. Now I can go anywhere and do anything without feeling at risk. :) Give yourself more time to strengthen those sober muscles. It gets better. After some time sober, you'll find you don't think about drinking as much as you used to do. :)

I am six months in and socialising is still difficult. I do it when required but keep it as short as possible. It is not much fun, not for me or the people I am with. I say no thank you a lot.

Good advice so far. But you are spooking me with those thoughts of looking forward to getting back into the old swing of things. Recovery is not about that. It's OK within well defined limits and qualifications when the time comes, but you really have to plan on things being different, possibly different enough to exclude most of what that old swing of things included.

Strongly agree with the posts above. I was no way ready at that point, even quite a bit longer, probably at what I recall as a "shift forward" in many ways around the 100 day mark.

A couple things you said signal to me that it is too early for you to socialize:
The beer comment
Your own share that your OP was probably bc you are not ready.

I felt that a quite limited "audience" was appropriate for those first 90 days for sure- it was my parents. And people in AA tho I took a careful bit longer to begin making real friends. I slowly added people back into my life- mostly those who I had "left" in my hardest drinking. I began with a lunch or coffee and not a marathon version. I didn't go out of town til 9 mo and it was with my now husband. First party, 14 mo, and first wedding 19...sidenote: I went back to work in a restaurant at 5.5 mo with very specific and attentive boundaries around time spent there (no post shift socializing, for example).

I didn't do all this out of fear but as said above, building my sober muscles and the fact that my absolute first priority was my recovery.

Hello I am on day 127 and for the most part I was my worst enemy. Doing the social thing I didnt let loose so much. I didnt want people to think I was a lush.lol. I would save that for home where I get stupid drunk. But you see the mentality I had. Freaking stupid. Anyways now it make me feel good and my wallet good when I step out and ask for a water with a lemon wedge. For one its free two its good for me. I get to enjoy my meal. Play pool. Etc. With a clear mind. ✌

When I quit, I took almost three months off work. I knew I wasnt ready to deal with the outside world sober. I'm almost at a year and a half sober and some social situations are still sketchy. I'm resigned to the fact that it may never be the same, which I'm fine with. I wasnt much of a social butterfly to begin with. Sobriety is number one. Take your time.

I'm glad you're doing well, FC.

I wasn't ready for looking outward before about 3 months of sobriety. It was at that point, that I began to feel more confident. But, it was close to a year before I felt comfortable being around alcohol. The main thing is that you do what is right for you. :)