What I’ve become after booze - Weekenders 06 - 09 September 2019
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
What I’ve become after booze - Weekenders 06 - 09 September 2019
Welcome to the Weekenders
“Suddenly we are faced with ourselves, who we really are. Someone we haven't seen or got to know in a very long time. We may not know how to react. To ourselves or to others. Look in the mirror and say glad to meet me.”
A wise SR member said these words to me when I was newly sober. I was floundering and unsure of me and really didn’t know who I was!
And it’s true! We start again with a sober slate and a dollop of hope and faith. And slowly we begin to find ourselves and find life gets better without the booze.
"Someday" is not one of the days of the week, and "hopefully" is not a plan. Now is the time to start.
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Wowza, did I score shotgun!
I like me sober, I like getting to know myself, prickles and bumps, bad days and good.
Say a little prayer for me SR peeps, 6 kids including my own, 5 horses, we leave tonight for a three day show. Heaven help me.
I like me sober, I like getting to know myself, prickles and bumps, bad days and good.
Say a little prayer for me SR peeps, 6 kids including my own, 5 horses, we leave tonight for a three day show. Heaven help me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Sober me certainly had some surprises in store, good and bad. In many ways, it feels like picking up where you left off. Problem being - 'left off' was more than a decade ago. I have ideas and certain (most likely mutated and manipulated) memories of what it was like, but I can't place a lot of it.
Being so long under the generalised impact of booze has definitely changed me. I'm more paranoid, anxious, distrusting. I still battle with my vindictive side and try to curb any notions of outright manipulation. These were all well-oiled tools of the addict. They worked until they didn't. And when these tools worked, there was no accounting done on the mental impact ... the moral implications. Regret was the sole domain for the sober self.
That's how the drink had me at least. It was almost schizophrenic, something along the lines of co-existing "self-proclaimed rock star" and "timid hired help only for clean-up purposes". The rock star was constantly on tour, even when just sitting on the couch, causing mayhem whereever he went. The hired help only had time to pay due hotel bills and any damages caused. With the 'rock star' retired ... what now, right? What did the hired help even like or do before being dragged into this heap of recurring mess.
The only way forward is to figure that out, step by step. And staying far-far away from any ...'rock stars', new or old.
Being so long under the generalised impact of booze has definitely changed me. I'm more paranoid, anxious, distrusting. I still battle with my vindictive side and try to curb any notions of outright manipulation. These were all well-oiled tools of the addict. They worked until they didn't. And when these tools worked, there was no accounting done on the mental impact ... the moral implications. Regret was the sole domain for the sober self.
That's how the drink had me at least. It was almost schizophrenic, something along the lines of co-existing "self-proclaimed rock star" and "timid hired help only for clean-up purposes". The rock star was constantly on tour, even when just sitting on the couch, causing mayhem whereever he went. The hired help only had time to pay due hotel bills and any damages caused. With the 'rock star' retired ... what now, right? What did the hired help even like or do before being dragged into this heap of recurring mess.
The only way forward is to figure that out, step by step. And staying far-far away from any ...'rock stars', new or old.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
In!
Sober me is more capable than I ever thought possible. This person amazes me every day.
I know we shouldn't dwell on the past, and I'm really working to move past everything from the past couple years of heavy drinking. But sometimes I wish I could go back in time to that sick, scared girl and just give her a hug and just tell her it's going to be okay. I think I could have really used that. I'm just getting started on improving myself, but I've made so much progress this past sober year than I ever did in the four years I'd been in therapy before that. Crazy how things are more effective on a normal brain, right?
This weekend for me consists of a mud run I signed up for in like, January that I've been training for all this time. It's gonna be wild. It's going to be really hard, but I'm proving to myself that I can do it, and finishing it is going to be amazing. I need to go to the store to get some throw away clothes and shoes. Then Sunday is the zoo, as usual. Hopefully I'll be able to walk, haha.
It's starting to be fall here, and I'm really really excited. The mornings are cooler, and as I'm writing this the sun is coming up and the crisp feels so nice through the window. It smells like fall. Isn't it cool how you can smell the seasons in the air?
I digress. Have a wonderful Thursday, everyone.
Sober me is more capable than I ever thought possible. This person amazes me every day.
I know we shouldn't dwell on the past, and I'm really working to move past everything from the past couple years of heavy drinking. But sometimes I wish I could go back in time to that sick, scared girl and just give her a hug and just tell her it's going to be okay. I think I could have really used that. I'm just getting started on improving myself, but I've made so much progress this past sober year than I ever did in the four years I'd been in therapy before that. Crazy how things are more effective on a normal brain, right?
This weekend for me consists of a mud run I signed up for in like, January that I've been training for all this time. It's gonna be wild. It's going to be really hard, but I'm proving to myself that I can do it, and finishing it is going to be amazing. I need to go to the store to get some throw away clothes and shoes. Then Sunday is the zoo, as usual. Hopefully I'll be able to walk, haha.
It's starting to be fall here, and I'm really really excited. The mornings are cooler, and as I'm writing this the sun is coming up and the crisp feels so nice through the window. It smells like fall. Isn't it cool how you can smell the seasons in the air?
I digress. Have a wonderful Thursday, everyone.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,761
Hi MyLittleHorsie
That mud run sounds like fun dpac.
I like sober me and my sober life. My memory of my past life is very spotty. (It's bad at the best of times). I've found or rediscovered some passions that have led me to new social circles. Yep. Always room for improvement, but I'm doing good...
Now if I can only get my kids to launch......
That mud run sounds like fun dpac.
I like sober me and my sober life. My memory of my past life is very spotty. (It's bad at the best of times). I've found or rediscovered some passions that have led me to new social circles. Yep. Always room for improvement, but I'm doing good...
Now if I can only get my kids to launch......
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
I'm the most sober I've been since I was a teenager (I'm 34) and it is scary. I even feel like a (highly hormonal) teenager. Talking helps, getting outside of myself helps. I've just got to do it more.
Anyway here for another sober weekend!
Anyway here for another sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 73
In for the weekend, thanks, Mags.
To be honest, I don’t have a clue who I am right now. Too much **** from my past that I am having a really hard time understanding... why, how, who...? Plus I’m a new mother, so dealing with parenting and now quitting drinking, it’s a lot. I’m getting comfortable not being able to decipher myself; as long as I stay sober. I’m hoping, though, that things will get clearer with time, as we are often told by btdt recovered alcoholics ��.
Here’s to another sober weekend!
To be honest, I don’t have a clue who I am right now. Too much **** from my past that I am having a really hard time understanding... why, how, who...? Plus I’m a new mother, so dealing with parenting and now quitting drinking, it’s a lot. I’m getting comfortable not being able to decipher myself; as long as I stay sober. I’m hoping, though, that things will get clearer with time, as we are often told by btdt recovered alcoholics ��.
Here’s to another sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The Mirror Work thing is pretty powerful. In early sobriety I picked up a little book called, "The Toltec Way" for $0.25 at a thrift store with the intent to send it back to the library in another state whose name (and old-school library card pocket) are on the book. It is based on the same ancient principles as Miguel Ruiz's, "Four Agreements."
I read it at just a few months sober and it's still here in my house. One of the many helpful ideas it talks about is self-forgiveness done with the aid of Mirror Work. I've done it many times and it's really helpful to heal the wounded part of the soul.
So the idea is to stand in front of a mirror, look into my[your] own eyes and say,
"I love you."
"I'm sorry."
"Thank you."
"Forgive me."
I'm thinking the Toltecs probably used water instead of fancy pants mirrors.
I read it at just a few months sober and it's still here in my house. One of the many helpful ideas it talks about is self-forgiveness done with the aid of Mirror Work. I've done it many times and it's really helpful to heal the wounded part of the soul.
So the idea is to stand in front of a mirror, look into my[your] own eyes and say,
"I love you."
"I'm sorry."
"Thank you."
"Forgive me."
I'm thinking the Toltecs probably used water instead of fancy pants mirrors.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
I am a man with life goals now. In the past my only goal was to keep drinking constantly and avoid repercussions at all costs.
I was flabbergasted during one of my first AA meetings when I heard a gentleman refer to himself as a "grateful alcoholic". Grateful alcoholic? These people really are a bunch of weirdos in a cult. But I understand it completely now. It took losing many years of my life and indeed nearly losing my life to change my perspective.
In the grand scheme of things we are all here only for a little while. I'm not content to cruise along on autopilot anymore, these days I dream big. The goals I've set for myself is what gives my life meaning and purpose.
I was flabbergasted during one of my first AA meetings when I heard a gentleman refer to himself as a "grateful alcoholic". Grateful alcoholic? These people really are a bunch of weirdos in a cult. But I understand it completely now. It took losing many years of my life and indeed nearly losing my life to change my perspective.
In the grand scheme of things we are all here only for a little while. I'm not content to cruise along on autopilot anymore, these days I dream big. The goals I've set for myself is what gives my life meaning and purpose.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
In!
As an active alcoholic the words "someday" and "hopefully" were commas and full stops in the grammar of my life. As a recovering alky of some 4 years and 8 months sober I don't get to do everything I want to but being sober and un- hungover is freedom from a form of invisible incarceration that I am determined not going back to.
September has well and truly arrived in London and with that in mind here is Chicago's finest and one of the world's greatest bands, Earth Wind and Fire.
As an active alcoholic the words "someday" and "hopefully" were commas and full stops in the grammar of my life. As a recovering alky of some 4 years and 8 months sober I don't get to do everything I want to but being sober and un- hungover is freedom from a form of invisible incarceration that I am determined not going back to.
September has well and truly arrived in London and with that in mind here is Chicago's finest and one of the world's greatest bands, Earth Wind and Fire.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
They're good aren't they kk? I am old enough and lucky enough to have seen them in the early 80s when they did dress like that and had the Pyramid and all (an idea they borrowed from George Clinton - Parliament/Funkadelic who in turn borrowed it from Sun Ra (I don't know where Sun Ra got the idea from, outer space probably)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Real good.
I'm currently on Four Tops "It's the Same Old Song". Again, one of those tunes and beats that makes people who usually don't dance notice that their feet are tapping. I mean, the bass line itself would achieve some feet-tapping.
I'm currently on Four Tops "It's the Same Old Song". Again, one of those tunes and beats that makes people who usually don't dance notice that their feet are tapping. I mean, the bass line itself would achieve some feet-tapping.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Finalllyyyyy, after only a four day week I so need a weekend. It’s been a very hectic week. I need sober time of rest and progress. Glad to see the weekend thread.... 22 more hours and my weekend begins.
Great song Sao 👍
Great song Sao 👍
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 164
I'm in!!! For another weekend with all of you. The stories are great on this thread, I love reading them. Will be another busy weekend for me out at the farm, but at least its not work. Should be great fall weather with crisp air and a warming sun.
In response to the "who am I" subject, im beginning to see shreds of my old self appear here and there. The energy is definitely coming back which was a cornerstone of my personality. Humor is creeping back into the fold a bit, I actually laughed a bit the other day. Things that were lost, so sad. As time ticks along i'm sure more and more of the real me will appear. I think this is called recovery.
Check in tomorrow, lets all prep a plan for a clean weekend.
In response to the "who am I" subject, im beginning to see shreds of my old self appear here and there. The energy is definitely coming back which was a cornerstone of my personality. Humor is creeping back into the fold a bit, I actually laughed a bit the other day. Things that were lost, so sad. As time ticks along i'm sure more and more of the real me will appear. I think this is called recovery.
Check in tomorrow, lets all prep a plan for a clean weekend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Ra was an Egyptian God- perhaps that is the pyramid source.
Because I burned from my last significant drinking episode (stopped drinking only 3m post discharge) I have some significant health 'matters' that need a constant awareness and attention...such as pain and memory.
With sobriety- I am doing more, achieving more, learning more- in fact doing much , so much more than I ever did pre burns with a normal body and memory.
I shy away of feeling grateful for my experience, BUT I am grateful to be sober. And alive.
Because I burned from my last significant drinking episode (stopped drinking only 3m post discharge) I have some significant health 'matters' that need a constant awareness and attention...such as pain and memory.
With sobriety- I am doing more, achieving more, learning more- in fact doing much , so much more than I ever did pre burns with a normal body and memory.
I shy away of feeling grateful for my experience, BUT I am grateful to be sober. And alive.
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