Now or never
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Germany
Posts: 210
Hi Hood,
77 days sober today and I will be sober tomorrow. But I got to say: alcoholism is one guileful obsession. How swiftly it gets my mind under its spell!
I'm doing just fine, neither entertaining thoughts about wine nor worrying and then - *finger snap* - all of a sudden I am a different being. I turn into some sort of struggling alc offender, I start sweating and all I can think is: it's my God-given right to buy some wine. Now. Here.
Well, happened four times last week. I follow my shrink's advice, stop whatever I do and try to register what happens for 60 seconds, which is quite difficult. After that, I feel sad and guilty (ludicrous, of course).
Bottom line: I cannot trust me.
My shrink gives me 10/10 for my progress though, and that is the only thing that counts for me today. I followed his and the CBT therapist's words, but for some reason from the very beginning on I completely underestimated this addiction. Its vehemence.
I love my sober life, it's awesome. I'll keep it sober.
Have a great week! :o)
77 days sober today and I will be sober tomorrow. But I got to say: alcoholism is one guileful obsession. How swiftly it gets my mind under its spell!
I'm doing just fine, neither entertaining thoughts about wine nor worrying and then - *finger snap* - all of a sudden I am a different being. I turn into some sort of struggling alc offender, I start sweating and all I can think is: it's my God-given right to buy some wine. Now. Here.
Well, happened four times last week. I follow my shrink's advice, stop whatever I do and try to register what happens for 60 seconds, which is quite difficult. After that, I feel sad and guilty (ludicrous, of course).
Bottom line: I cannot trust me.
My shrink gives me 10/10 for my progress though, and that is the only thing that counts for me today. I followed his and the CBT therapist's words, but for some reason from the very beginning on I completely underestimated this addiction. Its vehemence.
I love my sober life, it's awesome. I'll keep it sober.
Have a great week! :o)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 11
Welcome, Jan. Taking that first step is crucial.
I've been using Sober Recovery on/off for a few years now. It's a great community and resource.
I find meetings very helpful, so if you're doing that, good on you as well.
I've been using Sober Recovery on/off for a few years now. It's a great community and resource.
I find meetings very helpful, so if you're doing that, good on you as well.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
That does sound tough, Jan, and I sympathise.
I can only speak from my experience (11 months) when I ask this. Are your urges reduced now compared with day one? From my experience, this should be the case after 11 weeks*. If not, have you asked about any drugs? I was prescribed a drug called Campril which helped reduce cravings.
In the meantime, keep strong. You must be tough already to beat those strong urges.
* I don’t believe urges ever disappear completely, but I promise you they reduce over time. I felt like a beer this week, but like you I know sober life is better and easier.
I can only speak from my experience (11 months) when I ask this. Are your urges reduced now compared with day one? From my experience, this should be the case after 11 weeks*. If not, have you asked about any drugs? I was prescribed a drug called Campril which helped reduce cravings.
In the meantime, keep strong. You must be tough already to beat those strong urges.
* I don’t believe urges ever disappear completely, but I promise you they reduce over time. I felt like a beer this week, but like you I know sober life is better and easier.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
Reading that again, Jan, I should emphasise that I wrote from my experience. There’s no expected time when urges should start to reduce. Everyone’s different. Hope you have a better week, but you’re doing brilliantly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Germany
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by Hodd 
[...] Are your urges reduced now compared with day one? From my experience, this should be the case after 11 weeks*. If not, have you asked about any drugs? I was prescribed a drug called Campril which helped reduce cravings. [...]
We discussed Antibus or similar medications as well, we'll enlarge upon it on Wednesday. I'm not enthusiastic about it, but if he recommends it, I'll do it.
Apart from these episodes, can I complain?
- There's no anxiety.
- I don't miss alcohol a bit. Honestly.
- I'm just super content where I am.
Patience is just not my forte. Some home runs just take a longer time.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
Sounds mostly positive.
I mentioned drugs/tablets. As far as I know, there are two types. The names will vary from country to country, but here goes. Campril, which I took, reduces the cravings. It’s not a miracle drug, and you need willpower too. Antabuse is more controversial and makes you ill if you take alcohol. This is obviously an extreme measure.
For me, Campril probably helped, but it was more the fact I had to go to a lot of effort to get it and had to pay for it. It seemed daft to drink after making all that effort. After five weeks, I stopped taking it, and by that time I’d started to lose the habit of daily drinking. So it partly helped.
Jan, I’d certainly discuss the options with regards to drugs.
I mentioned drugs/tablets. As far as I know, there are two types. The names will vary from country to country, but here goes. Campril, which I took, reduces the cravings. It’s not a miracle drug, and you need willpower too. Antabuse is more controversial and makes you ill if you take alcohol. This is obviously an extreme measure.
For me, Campril probably helped, but it was more the fact I had to go to a lot of effort to get it and had to pay for it. It seemed daft to drink after making all that effort. After five weeks, I stopped taking it, and by that time I’d started to lose the habit of daily drinking. So it partly helped.
Jan, I’d certainly discuss the options with regards to drugs.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
