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Relapsed again

Old 08-31-2019, 08:52 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry that you relapsed and I understand how hard this is. It does sound like you need to make some changes in your life in order to protect your sobriety. Being a single Mom and helping your parents is likely stressful for you. Maybe you could sit down and try to come up with some ideas of things that will relax you and bring some peace to your life. If one of those things is having a friend to talk to, then try to come up with some ways to connect with someone. When I had young children, I found I could chat with my kids friends Moms and make some friends that way. Do you connect with other Moms at your son's school or other activities?

Have faith that you can do this.
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Old 08-31-2019, 08:52 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Tinkerbeau, the thought of going to a meeting turned out to be much more scary than the meeting.
which wasn't scary at all, as it turned out.

really checking in with myself about just what i was afraid of about going to a meeting was very revealing, and then going anyways, in spite of and precisely because of , was a huge step for me in a new direction.
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Old 08-31-2019, 09:32 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Hi Tink,

Iím sorry you drank, and sorry you are feeling so sad. Are there any mom groups nearby? Maybe you could join one on the weekends. Does your son play any sports? Iíve met a lot of friends through my kids activities, and since we live the same crazy life of trying to juggle work, kids, activities, life....

Since meetings seem to be a struggle have you considered speaking to an addiction counselor? That might be a good way to get some one on one support, and maybe they can recommend a group that would be less intimidating for you.

I find that exercise every day helps me to clear my head, nothing crazy, just walking, but the combination of exercise and nature really helps.

Sending lots of love your way Tink. You can do this sobriety is worth it, you are worth it.
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Old 08-31-2019, 09:40 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Tell yourself you can do 7 days and it wont harm you in anyway whatsoever.

Promise yourself a treat with the 7 days of money you save at the end of the week.

You don't need to say you will never drink again, just concentrate on that first 7 days.
Maybe it will feel uncomfortable or depressing somehow but you know 1 week is not going to harm you in anyway at all.

Second by second, day by day, and then you will have 1 week under your belt! Worry about the second week after that.
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Old 08-31-2019, 10:28 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Tb, I am sorry you're going through this - it really is a personal hell, I know. I think, too, that getting together with an in-person group could be a really good thing for you. You can Google AA in your area, call them, and ask them to arrange for someone to meet up with you before a meeting. That way, you don't have to walk in alone. If you don't have anyone to watch your son at the moment, you can bring him along with you and let him hang out in the room or outside of the room doing homework or playing video games or whatever. Like others have said, you needn't say a word, aside from perhaps "I'm just here to listen today."

Don't let anyone here or elsewhere diminish what you are going through. It's hard, it's scary, it's lonesome, and it's natural to look for the "why." I found lots and lots of whys for drinking this last many years. And some of them were even legitimate. But the "why" I really needed was why do I need to stop drinking? What is my deep-down motivation to do the work and change everything up?

Don't fall into the trap of beating yourself up and concluding that you must not really want sobriety. You're here, right? It's very difficult to come back here and report a relapse. That means at some level, you really do want it.

Keep writing.

O
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Old 08-31-2019, 10:49 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by 2muchpain View Post
Not stupid at all. I can relate. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Being isolated in a way becomes a comfortable place to be even though you don't like it and know it's not a healthy place to be. It's very scary to move beyond a comfortable yet unhealthy situation and find the strength to take a chance on trying something different. Maybe look at it this way. You have nothing to lose by trying something different. The worst thing that can happen is that you try AA for a few meetings and see if it works for you. Just sit in the back of the meetings and listen to what people say. I would suggest going to a speaker meeting. They are less intimating. Nobody will call on you to say anything. Just walk in, listen to the speaker and leave. Nice way to get to know AA and eventually ease in to going to regular meetings and hopefully meet some people. John
This!! Exactly what I would say.

How are you right now? I'm super focused on that literal question today as I had back surgery yesterday AM and have begun a major period of accepting help and being in touch with others that is calling me beyond anything I have done in sobriety so far.

And, about the meetings- I am NOT a shy person (ha) and when I started AA 3.5 yrs ago when I quit drinking, I came in a little late (the intro grated), sat at the back near a door, and left right before the Serenity Prayer (which REALLY grated, like the good alcoholic I am) and couldn't do more than just know other people were in a room with me.

Whatever you - I, anyone- do to pull ourselves out of the pit we are in is the first and critical step.

You can do this.
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Old 08-31-2019, 08:15 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Hi Tink

I wasn't saying AA is THE answer but it is one answer - an answer that neatly tackles your loneliness and lack of human contact as well as your drinking.

I know what it's like to have social anxiety - but drinking will just make that insularity and anxiety worse.

Whats the solution is, it's not more drinking.

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