WaterOx

I’m curious if any long-timers (maybe 2+ years?) have found this mantra helpful?

What about others? Did you find it wasn’t helpful for you?

For me I felt like it worked in the short run but after a while it lost its power. Perhaps I was missing something else to see it through.

Note: I hope this conversation won’t end up in a debate over “the one true way”....I’m just curious what’s worked for them, personally.

SoberRican

Hello. And I am speaking for myself. But the one day at a time thing works for me. That is something I can manage feel me. We are not promised Tommorow if that makes any sense. But I also want to state that is just one of my things in my Arsenal. I dont go to AA or anything like that. However I do believe in their principles. I come here and post and read what other folks are doing to cope with this disease. I listen to AA speakers on you tube. I do wholeheartedly believe in a higher power. Not everyone is on that level. But I still put the work into it. And so far I have been sober for 117 days. And that my friend is a miracle. ✌

Tetrax

I struggle with it 'cause when I'm in a place saying I've quit you know it's like an exercise in doublethink, but if you say you're recovering one day at a time then I guess that's a different (AA) philosophy, and something I'm gonna think more about, having just wrote this out.

I'm only in early recovery; I am likewise curious of other experiences.

Dee74

Hi waterox

I dunno - you can say I'm staying sober one day at a time...cos that's the way we live life anyway, and recovery now is my way of life...

there's not a lot of conscious thought about it apart from when I'm here

Its not a day to day struggle - which I think is what some people just starting out fear 'one day at a time' means.

We change, we grow and that struggle between Good Us and Bad Us dies away in timeI

Recovery for me now is not as automatic as breathing but it's close

I'd no sooner drink now that play on the freeway.

D

CupofJoe

"One day at a time" got me through early sobriety. I never took it as "I won't drink today, but maybe tomorrow." I just told myself "Get through today. That's all I have to do." I always felt better the next day.

Like Dee said, we can only live one day at a time.

I no longer worry about drinking or relapsing. I'm wholly confident that I will stay sober for the rest of my life, but I can only take things a day at a time.

I've definitely grown and changed the longer I've been sober. I still think "one day at a time" when I'm going through something difficult and it still helps.

nez

I am not a hardliner on one day at a time, but for me it serves as a good reminder to stay in the present moment, which is where my life is happening, rather than running into the future or revisiting the past.

While my past is a valuable learning tool, it doesn't need me but my future does.

My future is shaped by what I am doing in the present moment so it is important than I spend time and energies here and not get too far ahead of myself.

doggonecarl

I was sober yesterday, I was sober today, and I have every right to expect to be sober tomorrow. One day at a time.

But it wasn't until I accepted never drinking again, accepted sobriety for life, that I was able to make my day-by-day sober journey.

AnvilheadII

hard as i have tried i can only live the day i am in.
one day at a time reminds of this. i can't live in tomorrow and i've already live yesterday. what i do today is all that matters.

Rd2quit

Yes, one day at a time works for me. I'm only 10 months sober but I no longer have cravings or any desire to drink.

like Dee said one day at a time does not mean a daily struggle.

Early on in my sobriety I would get caught up thinking about future events like a wedding two months away. I even thought the idea of staying sober the rest of my life was ridiculous. That's when I would bring it back to one day at a time.

WeThinkNot

My last withdrawal was bad enough that I'm confident another relapse will kill me. I never subscribed to "one day at a time" only because I don't feel I have that luxury.

The life I've created for myself is what will sustain me for the rest of my days.

Zucc36

Was the complete opposite of the way I thought for many years. It has taken a while for me to get it, at the same time it helps me with gratitude, keeping things in perspective, and knowing I dont need to drink.

least

When I was in early recovery, I lived by the 'day at a time' mantra. It was hard for me, at that point, to think about forever, so I just went with one day at a time. Now sobriety is just my lifestyle and I'm comfortable with it and have no plans to abandon it. I never get tired of waking up feeling good.

ColoradoRocky

Lemme tell ya somethin' my friend! It's been a lot longer than two years since my last drink and taking things one day (one step) at a time is more crucial, more important to my success in life now than ever.

Here's a good one for you: every once in a while I stray a little doing something or other and my children will say to me, "Dad, let's just take this one step at a time and go from there!"

I love it.

August252015

Hmmm...I guess I take this (and say it) a couple main ways. I was so sick that I couldn't drink anymore so it was more "one minute" or "one hour" or whatever to keep feeling better. Whatever it took for time to pass, rather than not drink, if you will.

As I've gone on, it's more to make myself pause, sometimes literally, and stop overreacting to something - or to propelling myself mentally into the future. or when feeling overwhelmed about something (like, omghowwilligetthrubacksurgeryandrecovery.....) -just do the next right thing. Each day.

Now, that means going to the hospital for said surgery. After about 7am EST, it won't be up to me for a good while. Then we will see!

DriGuy

In a strict literal sense everyone lives one day at a time, because it's logically impossible to live tomorrow until tomorrow. We live only in the precise moment of current time. Maybe living one day at a time makes some sort of esoteric sense to some Zen master, or to an amoeba in it's natural state of inability to think or comprehend. BUT in day to day life, we need to work toward a positive future, and that is the exact opposite of living one day at at a time. The goals may be either self destructive or ultimately rewarding, but the goals exist, and counselors encourage the setting of goals all the time. What we need to do instead of living for today or the moment is to learn how to set positive goals.

For alcoholics in recovery, future goals are essential. In my mind not keeping an eye to the future is disastrous for alcoholics. Before recovery, alcoholics live one day at a time: "Feel bad. Need drink. Need drink now." This is something we need to change, and that requires that we stop living for the moment.

I'm guessing I'll be the odd man out with this point of view, but I'm OK with that. I suspect there is something meaningful in living one day at a time, as long as it really suggests something more that what it says literally. OK, I tend to be pedantic. So shoot me.

AJ77

Yes

Dee74

welcome to SR AJ

best wishes with your surgery August

D

Culture

I found it helpful to just take a day at a time because in the early days of not drinking the thought of having to cope without it for the rest of my life, was unimaginable . I made a daily commitment to myself to just get through that 1 day. I kept up that daily mantra until fairly recently, these days I don't often think about it, it has now become normal to not drink and I will be 2 years sober tomorrow.

ColoradoRocky

Ha! We won't shoot you (yet), not for this anyway!

You're talking about delayed gratification (something which, as you point out, active alcoholics are nearly incapable of). Planning and working toward the future requires putting off immediate satisfaction and maybe comfort for a long-term goal and a more-meaningful reward, which is a good thing, essential really.

You can't get to the top of the ladder without taking it one step at a time. One day at a time to me means one step at a time, which could be a five-minute task or a two- three-day task.

You can see why the saying for AA wouldn't be "one step at a time" because it would get confused with the steps. And you couldn't use technical language like "break larger tasks down into smaller tasks" because no one would remember (or probably understand) that.

So somebody came up with something that fit the task at hand. I can't quit drinking for the rest of my life, but I can quit for today...which doesn't seem so overwhelming. ODAAT.

DriGuy, I think people who live only for today, only in the moment, are immature and just stupid. Okay everybody, Shoot Me!

nez

I don't know about anybody else, but I don't shoot people that can't understand what goes on the convoluted corridors of my cranium :~) I have difficulties understanding all that goes on in there at times.

Sometimes the words and manner that people use to convey their lack of understanding of alternate points of view could perhaps be chosen better.

Once again I don't know about anyone else but if I felt that words and descriptions such as amoeba, immature, just stupid were being applied to me, I wouldn't feel exactly endeared to the person expressing their thoughts with those terms. In fact , my immediate reaction would not be described as one of warm and fuzzy feelings.

Even if a sleeping dog is in recovery, it is still a good idea not to poke it with a stick.

Also too, I need to remember that whatever I say, says more about me than it does about the person or subject that I am talking about.