Started Again
 

Hi everyone. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been drinking again. I fell off the wagon around 2 weeks ago and can’t get back on track. I’m away for a weeks holiday with my parents and niece at the moment and planned to stop the day we came. I felt so ill though that I drank to get over the withdrawals.

I’m here but the whole of me isn’t. Every waking moment, I’m slipping off to top up or plot how to get rid of the empty cans/bottles. It’s exhausting being so secretive all the time. I hate who I am and how I’m behaving right now but tomorrow will probably wake still feeling so desperate for something that gives me no pleasure whatsoever.

I feel total despair and have no idea how to get out of it.

Not to oversimplify things, but the way you get out of it is to stop drinking. Stop right now. Get rid of any alcohol you have and don't get anymore. The w/d are hard, but they only last a few days and you'll feel better after you get thru it.

I hope you can use the support here to help you get sober for good. :hug:

You want to get better? If so. Then first thing on the agenda is stop drinking. Yes you are going to go thru the motions of withdrawal. You even mentioning that you will get them is a sign that you are sick my friend. . but this can be done .one day at a time. I will put you on my prayer list. ✌

I have to agree with others. Just suck it up, grit your teeth and get through it. If you think you might be in danger, see a doctor. Better to do it while on vacation.

Pick a date...get your supplies....fluids, easy to digest food..like watermelon and ramen noodles...and ensure you have time to rest (even thou you will be crawling out of your skin)….get medication from a hospital or Dr....You can't do it without a plan....you need to plan to do this...and then stick to your plan.
Routing for you.

TM - I'm glad you wanted to talk about it. It really helps with our anxiety when we're open. We all understand what you're going through - and we know you can get free.

Use this miserable time as a lesson - write down how you're feeling. You never want to go through this again. There's no fun left in it for us - and never will be. It can't have the desired effect we imagine it will. Let's try this again. :)

Hi TM :)
have you thought about a meeting based approach like AA or SMART or Lifering?

I understand noone wants to go to these things - but if you can;t stop on your own what do you have to lose? :dunno:

D