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2:30 am. No sleep

Old 08-26-2019, 11:31 PM
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2:30 am. No sleep

Please has anyone been to jail? Im not able to sleep or get any peace.

Please just dont abandon me Thank you
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Old 08-26-2019, 11:34 PM
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This is normally when I would drink. For courage and to not sound like a whiny baby and pretend Im tough.

I am not. Im afraid
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:25 AM
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Hi Shift

This is a quiet time on the forums - it's like this every night/day so please don't take it personally.

I'm also really busy offline right now so don;t take my absence as any kind of critique either

I've not been to prison....but I find it unlikely you'd go to prison based on your circumstances and your original charge.

Ring the parole guys as soon as the office opens.

I've been so scared I could no sleep a wink, and was even afraid to close my eyes, so I have great empathy for what you're going through..

Drinking won't take away your fear or anxiety though - it will only make it worse and drive you to lower depths of despair. Its not the way out here.

D
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:33 AM
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Dee I have read your story so many times for inspiration and an "I can do this"attitude.

Thank you for helping me.

It seems that peopke used me up when I was rich and pretty, now when I cant stop crying no one is to be found.

Thank you
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:29 AM
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Hey no worries . its not my first rodeo when it comes to the jail thing. It is what you make of it. If God forbid you do have to do some time. Use it wisely . I know easier said than done. But I was able to get my GED. Some college. Some treatment. All things to get you ready for the world. Remember the man upstairs is not going to put anything on your shoulders you cant handle. Oh and um dont drink my friend that surely will not make it better. You want to be level headed feel me. Stay strong
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:41 AM
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I have seen your posts soberrican and admit I envy your ability to stay positive and the family support you have.

I believe I am extremely depressed but thank you for being supportive.

I feel like I have given everything I can and have nothing left

Best to you on your recovery
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:45 AM
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Just Look at it as a chapter you have to get thru. Once that part is done. Its done learn from it and press on. One day at a time.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:46 AM
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Dont get me wrong it does suck. But you know the saying you made your bed now you got to lay in it.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:53 AM
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I didnt exactly make it. I was pretty traumatized.

I certaainly didnt steal intentionally.

I did not drive my car to that appointment because though 100 % sober the medication was making me confused and I knew it wasnt safe for me drive.

Im not in NYC anymore where I know and have transport available.

Im in rural Florida terrified.

I cannot go to jail. I will not make it.

But thank you
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:09 AM
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Sending you support. I really hope you are able to be released this morning. I agree you sound deeply depressed. That’s a hard place to be
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:37 AM
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Can you contact a lawyer to act on your behalf? Also have you seen Dr about anti depressants? Can you move somewhere where you have family or friends for support?
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:48 AM
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I lost my mom to cancer.

My sister was killed on 9/11 at the towers.

My ex alkie husband and I no longer speak.

I paid a lawyer 35k for my divorce. I was trying to put myself back together.

All of a sudden because Im sick Im like typhoid Mary.

I stood by my ex when he was injured so badly in the line of duty and couldnt get out of bed.

Im scared to death because i know when youre not perfect everyone leaves.

I never would have moved to this horrible state if I could have afforded to stay in NY.

Im barely surviving on my disability pension. I cannot afford another lawyer.
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:51 AM
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Being alone in fear is horrendous. I have been there, believe me. I thought the excruciating anxiety would never end.

There is no miracle cure. Just time. Bad things happen but they do pass.

You will be stronger than before. Sit tight and don't drink.
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:53 AM
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No one will even talk to me.

Because I am not a member of the Rolling Stones theyre going to take everything I have
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:07 AM
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Good morning Shift

Any luck reaching the parole officer? If not how about the person that runs the department? You might also check your paperwork for the arresting officer and try to call that person. Keep a log of every time you call (and your outgoing call record will show this as well) so you can demonstrate that you have been trying.

Toilet paper. Sheesh. That's crazy. I know Walmart is cracking down big time because people lift things like crazy in the self checkout. In Cali you have to show your receipt and have your cart scanned, like Costco, before you can leave. I am noticing where I live that they are checking randomly now.

Absolutely awful that this is happening. But I do believe that how you react to this is very important. Trying to stay calm, think logically, and keep calling and calling until you reach someone.

Toilet paper. And think of the tax dollars Florida is wasting on this. And the unnecessary pain it is causing you! BUT, I know at least for me that victim thinking only serves to keep me a victim. You can handle this, but try not to make it larger than life.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:21 AM
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So much pain.

I tried to drink yesterday. I got sick.

I had one this morning to calm down because its all I have.

I called probation and tried to explain. He asked me if I thought I could complete my probation succesfully. I tried to explain I cant drive. He said I need to go to a first appearance on the third and explain to the judge at 1:00 sharp and hope they dont arrest me.

Yes toilet paper. A 12 pack of Cottonelle. I had paid for over 200.00 worth of groceries. Who the f steals a 12 pack of toilet paper? They wanted to arrest someone. Its all on camera. It was an honest mistake.

The public defender said "well, you did walk out with it.

Theyre going to drive me to suicide.

I have to drive to court on the 3rd with a suspended licence and registration because of this.

I have no choice. Theyll arrest me anyway if I dont show.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:45 AM
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Understand, Shift, that if you choose to drive while suspended you are adding gasoline on a spark. Please try and put your charge of theft into perspective: toilet paper (and its value) hardly make for jail time.

In the meantime this is August 27. Contact your county services and find out about Dial-a-ride (or other service) and set up an appointment for transportation. You have services in your state like we do in mine (I'm in Oregon). At the very least pay for an Uber. If you risk your DWS charge you can (in this state) receive a fine of upwards $1200 and possibly real jail time. You need to think your desperation through so start with county services. Ask your probation person what alternatives there are for someone like you. Just don't pick up and drink at your situation. You're only going to dig deeper into a hole.

You CAN get through this. You have a week to make preparations. Get after it. Wishing you the strength to turn this all around. Could be your case will get thrown out, but showing up is crucial to helping yourself. Good luck to you.

PS you have internet and ability to get online so look up your county services, even if you start with the aid offices. They can refer you. There should be no excuses why you can't find some sort of help through volunteer services.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:48 AM
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I had one this morning to calm down because its all I have.


This is what is keeping you in the frantic state of mind you're in.

I tried to drink to calm down this morning after this happened. I just got sick.

And this was from your post yesterday.

If you keep drinking, the panic won't go away, the suffering will continue. Focus on not drinking, that's it. Stop drinking.


You can do that....don't drink.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:50 AM
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I hope I didnt offend. With the lay in it thing. It was meant as you know things happen some self inflicted some not. I apologize if I offended you in any way form or fashion.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:51 AM
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If you drive to court with a suspended licence and registration, you are likely to end up in jail.

Can you not find alternate transport on that day - a taxi, uber, a bus, anything other than doing something illegal?
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