Starting here
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Join Date: Aug 2019
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It is late evening here and I am sat on the sofa just having finished watching a movie. I have now been sober for about 40 days and I can’t help but feel immensely proud of myself. Although 40 days might sound like a relatively short time, it really has made all the difference to me. I sleep well, my ability to concentrate has improved but most of all this has truly transformed my relationship with myself and given me a more wholesome life. I cannot remember when last I would’ve been able to be so focused on what is important and somehow things that used to throw me off into anxiety and depression just don’t seem quite that bad, though I appreciate life has been quite steady and no major “disasters” as such have happened so I cannot judge would I have grabbed the bottle if that was the case. But I’m talking about the small stuff, the everyday struggle that a life of an alcoholic at least to me was. People don’t make me nervous and I don’t grumble inside as a result of minor set backs or confrontations because of my newly found certainty that I am worthy and I am going to be alright. Do not get me wrong it is not all as simple and easy many times I have had to talk myself out of the thought of “well why couldn’t I just have a glass” or “oh wouldn’t it be nice to have a pint”, but what has stopped me then is the fear and knowing that it’ll just push me right back to where I was and I don’t want to lose this feeling of being alright, it is addictive in itself.
Might sound stupid but sometimes I still feel sad watching series and seeing these “cool” people relaxing with a drink of their choice, “oh that will never be me again” but then I reason with myself - Well first of all that is not real life, these are actors in the role, I have tried that the past and it didn’t work for me so there is nothing to get sad about this “loss” when it is infact not a loss at all, it is a gain. Then I get mad thinking how very irresponsible it is of the producers of these shows to glorify drinking, but that is a whole another topic in itself.
To everyone out there struggling, we can do this.
Might sound stupid but sometimes I still feel sad watching series and seeing these “cool” people relaxing with a drink of their choice, “oh that will never be me again” but then I reason with myself - Well first of all that is not real life, these are actors in the role, I have tried that the past and it didn’t work for me so there is nothing to get sad about this “loss” when it is infact not a loss at all, it is a gain. Then I get mad thinking how very irresponsible it is of the producers of these shows to glorify drinking, but that is a whole another topic in itself.
To everyone out there struggling, we can do this.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 51
I am going strong. So many aspects of my life are just fine right now. I have days with no thoughts infected with alcohol and then some days I really have to fight the urge, it’s funny how it seems to be coming in waves. I have had to re-evaluate some of my friendships. It has become apparent that I have very little in common with some outside of alcohol. It’s a little sad.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
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Its pretty unbelievable for me to think that I have now been almost 2 months fully sober. I still have days that I wonder will my life forever be like this. The fear of “what if I lose touch and my control again”, how long would it take to get back to this point. This fear helps to keep it real - I do not drink, it’s not worth the risks. To begin with I was very impatient for the change I anticipated to take place, but now have learned that good things come with time. I have for one lost quite a bit of fat over the past months although I have been stuffing my face with sweets if I have felt like it, but obviously the calorie deficit created by not drinking has still been enough. It all works as a nice reminder that this is totally worth it. This life I live now is real, my emotions are real, what I do is real. I do not miss the fake “happiness” created by any substance. That was probably one of my biggest reasons why I started seeking sobriety. When even the drunk times where hit by the thought “this happiness isn’t real and it’ll all be gone when the drink is gone”. Well, I think there’s much real happiness to be found when the drink is gone, it’s all about change of perception, at least to me. Have a good day guys and thanks for being there.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
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Hi guys, I’m hoping everyone here is ok. Had to log in to remind myself of some realities of the nature of addiction just to convince myself it’s worth to keep going. What a rollercoaster eh. I’ve been good, hard to keep busy again national lockdown pt 2 taken place and the long dark evenings definitely don’t help. I dream of drinking again in the daily basis. But I’m stronger than my desires, I don’t need a drink for nothing. Today I realised that I was genuinely enjoying just normal things, looking forward to things again and laughing for real. Laughing for real and sober, not something I will ever again take for granted. It’s a rocky road but I’m so glad to be here. Take care of yourselves everyone x
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Congratulations!!
I have 2 years and 6 months of sobriety and even now my head can sometimes romanticize the thought of drinking. When it does I SMASH it down. I am alcoholic and there was nothing romantic and glamorous about my drinking. A glass of red wine with dinner on a cold dark night in lockdown can sound very appealing. But that is an illusion. The reality is very different. One glass of wine will turn into the bottle and very quickly another bottle. I will pass out drunk. My daughter would be neglected. Dinner would be ruined. God knows who I may text when I am drinking and what harms I might cause. I'd probably come to on the sofa or fully clothed in bed, feeling all those feelings that I have not felt in the last 2 years and 6 months (terror, guilt, shame, regret, despair). Then I would either have to start over again (if I am lucky) or I would have lit the obsession that will keep me drinking and for me to drink is to die. If not physically then mentally and spiritually.
You are doing amazing. Never look back
🙏♥️
I have 2 years and 6 months of sobriety and even now my head can sometimes romanticize the thought of drinking. When it does I SMASH it down. I am alcoholic and there was nothing romantic and glamorous about my drinking. A glass of red wine with dinner on a cold dark night in lockdown can sound very appealing. But that is an illusion. The reality is very different. One glass of wine will turn into the bottle and very quickly another bottle. I will pass out drunk. My daughter would be neglected. Dinner would be ruined. God knows who I may text when I am drinking and what harms I might cause. I'd probably come to on the sofa or fully clothed in bed, feeling all those feelings that I have not felt in the last 2 years and 6 months (terror, guilt, shame, regret, despair). Then I would either have to start over again (if I am lucky) or I would have lit the obsession that will keep me drinking and for me to drink is to die. If not physically then mentally and spiritually.
You are doing amazing. Never look back
🙏♥️
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by snitch 
Congratulations!!
I have 2 years and 6 months of sobriety and even now my head can sometimes romanticize the thought of drinking. When it does I SMASH it down. I am alcoholic and there was nothing romantic and glamorous about my drinking. A glass of red wine with dinner on a cold dark night in lockdown can sound very appealing. But that is an illusion. The reality is very different. One glass of wine will turn into the bottle and very quickly another bottle. I will pass out drunk. My daughter would be neglected. Dinner would be ruined. God knows who I may text when I am drinking and what harms I might cause. I'd probably come to on the sofa or fully clothed in bed, feeling all those feelings that I have not felt in the last 2 years and 6 months (terror, guilt, shame, regret, despair). Then I would either have to start over again (if I am lucky) or I would have lit the obsession that will keep me drinking and for me to drink is to die. If not physically then mentally and spiritually.
You are doing amazing. Never look back
🙏♥️
I have 2 years and 6 months of sobriety and even now my head can sometimes romanticize the thought of drinking. When it does I SMASH it down. I am alcoholic and there was nothing romantic and glamorous about my drinking. A glass of red wine with dinner on a cold dark night in lockdown can sound very appealing. But that is an illusion. The reality is very different. One glass of wine will turn into the bottle and very quickly another bottle. I will pass out drunk. My daughter would be neglected. Dinner would be ruined. God knows who I may text when I am drinking and what harms I might cause. I'd probably come to on the sofa or fully clothed in bed, feeling all those feelings that I have not felt in the last 2 years and 6 months (terror, guilt, shame, regret, despair). Then I would either have to start over again (if I am lucky) or I would have lit the obsession that will keep me drinking and for me to drink is to die. If not physically then mentally and spiritually.
You are doing amazing. Never look back
🙏♥️
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But I’m stronger than my desires, I don’t need a drink for nothing. Today I realised that I was genuinely enjoying just normal things, looking forward to things again and laughing for real. Laughing for real and sober, not something I will ever again take for granted. It’s a rocky road but I’m so glad to be here. Take care of yourselves everyone x
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
You are doing rhe right thing Fletchling cos you are coming here to out the thoughts in your head with other alcoholics and that I have found is key to my recovery because keeping those thoughts in my head is very dangerous as they can gain power and then start to seem a really good idea and then I am in the DANGER ZONE so well done for coming here and sharing. We are powerless over the thoughts that pop into our head but we are not powerless about what we do with those thoughts and thoughts of drinking need to be crushed!
You are doing great. keep going.
🙏♥️
You are doing great. keep going.
🙏♥️
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 18
I'm over 7 months sober. Covid triggered me to quit. I knew alcohol depresses the immune system especially in the lungs. I thought it would be a temporary break but now that I feel so good not drinking I have no desire to go back. I didn't use AA, counseling or anything else. Just stopped drinking and imposed some self discipline. You've got this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 51
Still hanging to my sobriety, some days stronger than others, but still successfully here!! Looming Christmas scares me, holidays without alcohol and all of that, better just stick to my plan of action and cut it at source, the thoughts, talk myself some sense. It really takes discipline to tell myself no way, stop it now. It’s a constant battle and really tiring. But the point was, I’m still here and still sober. Not much else to report. I feel a bit defeated really, I thought I’d be more productive due to sobriety but feel like now that the “guilt” from drinking that used to be one of main drivers has been removed I find myself in a really unproductive place and state of mind. Maybe it’s a phase.
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