It’s officially da
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Bethany57 
Oh no.....I don't understand...you say you always have a hard time around pay day? Do you have a job? How do you get paid? I know here in US if you don't have a job you don't get paid . If you are getting paid can't you pay for rehab?Sweeti...I want the best for you but what you are doing in not working. I really think if you go through rehab...if possible a 30 day program. After that you can get a part time job something simple like bagging groceries . You will need to be responsible for something You will need to show up. . You will show up and be surrounded by others, make new friends and have a few extra dollars and most importantly feel productive. I am not saying it will be easy but you can do this! Right now it just seems as you stay home all day and watch movies. I think that would make me drink too. I really think now you have nothing to be held accountable for. You are too isolated. Just my thoughts and wanting the best for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Sweeti the only way to get out of this mess is through humility and getting out of your comfort zone.
When I was still drinking but wanted to get sober, I looked up to people who were sober. They had what I wanted but hadn’t yet achieved. I may have a “better” job or a cleaner home, but I was still blowing my money and life on booze so I was waaaay worse off.
Which is truly worse... a sober mum with roaches or a drunk mum who cooks meals but is either actively drunk or preoccupied with getting her next drink? Everything you’ve said paints you as the latter.
My mum was the latter too, and it messed me up for life.
Please get humble, drop the drama and do one thing for recovery you’ve never done before.
Stop saying no. Maybe. Probably. I should. That will keep you in this mess.
When I stopped thinking I was better than anyone (cuz I’m not), or I wasn’t THAT BAD (cuz I was), and started to say yes to actions and did things to get and stay sober that I really would rather not do (rehab, aa), I got better.
None of us is better than anyone here. We’re all equal. That’s the beauty of Sr. Some of us have sober time under our belt and want nothing but you to get the same.
We give suggestions because we have been where you are and want you to have success.
But YOU have to WANT it. Not just in your head, not just abstractly.
You have to want sobriety so bad that you become willing to DO anything. Stop saying no.
I sincerely hope you get there.
When I was still drinking but wanted to get sober, I looked up to people who were sober. They had what I wanted but hadn’t yet achieved. I may have a “better” job or a cleaner home, but I was still blowing my money and life on booze so I was waaaay worse off.
Which is truly worse... a sober mum with roaches or a drunk mum who cooks meals but is either actively drunk or preoccupied with getting her next drink? Everything you’ve said paints you as the latter.
My mum was the latter too, and it messed me up for life.
Please get humble, drop the drama and do one thing for recovery you’ve never done before.
Stop saying no. Maybe. Probably. I should. That will keep you in this mess.
When I stopped thinking I was better than anyone (cuz I’m not), or I wasn’t THAT BAD (cuz I was), and started to say yes to actions and did things to get and stay sober that I really would rather not do (rehab, aa), I got better.
None of us is better than anyone here. We’re all equal. That’s the beauty of Sr. Some of us have sober time under our belt and want nothing but you to get the same.
We give suggestions because we have been where you are and want you to have success.
But YOU have to WANT it. Not just in your head, not just abstractly.
You have to want sobriety so bad that you become willing to DO anything. Stop saying no.
I sincerely hope you get there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 172
Have you thought about volunteer work, keep it under the threshold hours limit, so it doesn’t effect your government allowance.
As was mentioned previously if you have no day to day structure and just rattling about watching Netflix waiting for the next cheque it’s no wonder you are finding it so hard.
a byproduct of doing volunteer work, not only will it occupy your days, but potential future employers will look favourably on someone who has got off there arse and been a part of society and the community.
I can’t really preach as I am only at the start of my journey (116 hard days) and I was planning to drink this weekend, I have to go back to UK for family reasons and leave my 5 year old and wife in Asia until my return. Luckily for me I have been reading a lot of posts on here and i realised I didn’t want my kid and wife to see me as a mess before I left , I want to be the best I can be for both of them. And that means being sober.
so here I am on a tropical island with a soda...but no hangover in the morning means I will be first in the queue for breakfast...take every win I can😂
Oh and stop blaming Asians and Indians for you not having a job.. you are a native speaker, educated within your country..the reason you are overlooked I imagine is unfortunately you are an alcoholic , like the rest of us here, we have to wear that and get ourselves better.
As was mentioned previously if you have no day to day structure and just rattling about watching Netflix waiting for the next cheque it’s no wonder you are finding it so hard.
a byproduct of doing volunteer work, not only will it occupy your days, but potential future employers will look favourably on someone who has got off there arse and been a part of society and the community.
I can’t really preach as I am only at the start of my journey (116 hard days) and I was planning to drink this weekend, I have to go back to UK for family reasons and leave my 5 year old and wife in Asia until my return. Luckily for me I have been reading a lot of posts on here and i realised I didn’t want my kid and wife to see me as a mess before I left , I want to be the best I can be for both of them. And that means being sober.
so here I am on a tropical island with a soda...but no hangover in the morning means I will be first in the queue for breakfast...take every win I can😂
Oh and stop blaming Asians and Indians for you not having a job.. you are a native speaker, educated within your country..the reason you are overlooked I imagine is unfortunately you are an alcoholic , like the rest of us here, we have to wear that and get ourselves better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by tomsteve
yes it is an excuse-one i took the time to look up to make sure this has been used more than once. MANY excuses have been used more than once,
youre old sponsor didnt put a drink in your hand and tilt your elbow- you did that all on your own.
you drank because of untreated alcoholism STILL. remember that accountability thread? THAT is what there isnt any of. theres a crapton of "i SHOULD" "i COULD" "MAYBE " but no 'i WILL."
too much every day life things-eating well,watching tv, buying a gift,etc- that have absolutely nothing to do with recovery. they are every day life things billions of people do every day.
and not enough recovery focus.
sweeti, youre going to excuse yourself right into the grave. excuses why no rehab, cant go to meetings, cant_______________- fill in the blank. theres been a crapton of CANT.
3 years now and nothings changed for the better
thats what happens with no accountability.
now myself and others will say get accountable, then youll say your right. then youll say i should i could i would then drama and chaos then ya drink then er then blame mental disorders or_____________________
its the cycle,sweeti- one that can be stopped with accountability for recovery.
youre old sponsor didnt put a drink in your hand and tilt your elbow- you did that all on your own.
you drank because of untreated alcoholism STILL. remember that accountability thread? THAT is what there isnt any of. theres a crapton of "i SHOULD" "i COULD" "MAYBE " but no 'i WILL."
too much every day life things-eating well,watching tv, buying a gift,etc- that have absolutely nothing to do with recovery. they are every day life things billions of people do every day.
and not enough recovery focus.
sweeti, youre going to excuse yourself right into the grave. excuses why no rehab, cant go to meetings, cant_______________- fill in the blank. theres been a crapton of CANT.
3 years now and nothings changed for the better
thats what happens with no accountability.
now myself and others will say get accountable, then youll say your right. then youll say i should i could i would then drama and chaos then ya drink then er then blame mental disorders or_____________________
its the cycle,sweeti- one that can be stopped with accountability for recovery.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by sweetichick1
. I have given up on this site. No one shows any love or understanding.
As someone said last week though, there's not much else anyone on here can do. We can't get you sober. Only you can do that and until you are ready to stop drinking you won't. The cycle repeats itself. You drink, you stop as you have no money, you do other things, you get your weekly government benefit and pick up again. You blame everything/everyone else for causing you to drink.
Until you accept that you choose to drink and decide you want to be sober more than you want to drink and take real steps for your recovery then the weekly cycle will repeat itself.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Accountability can feel like an attack when your not ready to acknowledge your toxic behaviour. Whenever the going gets tough and people here, who care a great deal get honest with you, you sulk and throw your toys out of the pram. You do this every single time, without fail. You drink within 24 hours of receiving your pay check, every single time, without fail. Every drink you reach for is because of someone or something else and never your fault, every single time, without fail.
Until you do something different, choose recovery, choose sobriety, choose to be honest, choose to be humble and take ownership of your alcoholism, every single time, without fail nothing is going to get better. Alcohol will take everything you have left that it hasn’t stolen from you already, every single time, without fail.
Until you do something different, choose recovery, choose sobriety, choose to be honest, choose to be humble and take ownership of your alcoholism, every single time, without fail nothing is going to get better. Alcohol will take everything you have left that it hasn’t stolen from you already, every single time, without fail.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
As I said in my previous comment 'If you want to live through this, today needs to be the day you break the cycle of 'stuffing up' every time pay day comes.'
It's a shame you yet again wish to leave the forum. The support people give you here is honestly beyond anything I've seen for anyone else. If you put just 20% of the effort the members here give you into your own recovery, you could do this. The fact is the members here want you to be sober more than you want to. You are absolutely never fit to drive to an AA meeting, yet you are absolutely ALWAYS fit to drive to the bottle shop. Your current sober time is purely based on your finances. If you didn't have to wait for pay day, you'd be drinking every day.
Something has to change. Your life depends on it.
It's a shame you yet again wish to leave the forum. The support people give you here is honestly beyond anything I've seen for anyone else. If you put just 20% of the effort the members here give you into your own recovery, you could do this. The fact is the members here want you to be sober more than you want to. You are absolutely never fit to drive to an AA meeting, yet you are absolutely ALWAYS fit to drive to the bottle shop. Your current sober time is purely based on your finances. If you didn't have to wait for pay day, you'd be drinking every day.
Something has to change. Your life depends on it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
I checked in here now and then, but hadn't said anything. I misunderstood paycheck and payday to mean a job.
If you are bi-polar and schizophrenic, you are well beyond the expertise of anybody on this forum in terms of what to do, I think. I haven't been on this forum long, but if there is someone here with these serious mental illnesses, they might step in and support you with some better understanding.
Otherwise, I don't see what anybody can say other than "Don't drink today."
If you are bi-polar and schizophrenic, you are well beyond the expertise of anybody on this forum in terms of what to do, I think. I haven't been on this forum long, but if there is someone here with these serious mental illnesses, they might step in and support you with some better understanding.
Otherwise, I don't see what anybody can say other than "Don't drink today."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
PPS. There are no more meetings tonight and there’s no way I would have risked driving in the dark 20 minutes while still getting over concussion.
and yet you had NO problem hopping in the car at 10 o'clock at night and DRIVING to get ALCOHOL.
sorry but that excuse doesn't work. none of your excuses work here - remember who you are talking to. we've all been there and done that and know all the excuses and lies.
and yet you had NO problem hopping in the car at 10 o'clock at night and DRIVING to get ALCOHOL.
sorry but that excuse doesn't work. none of your excuses work here - remember who you are talking to. we've all been there and done that and know all the excuses and lies.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Hi Sweeti,
Excuses won't get you sober. You have to change from within.
And blaming Indians and Asians for your lack of work is deplorable. I hope you'll see how narrow minded that statement is. You can be a better woman than that.
Best of luck to you. I hope you decide to take this seriously.
Yes it's hard. But it's possible.
Take care.
Excuses won't get you sober. You have to change from within.
And blaming Indians and Asians for your lack of work is deplorable. I hope you'll see how narrow minded that statement is. You can be a better woman than that.
Best of luck to you. I hope you decide to take this seriously.
Yes it's hard. But it's possible.
Take care.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by sweetichick1
I have given up on this site. No one shows any love or understanding. Just given up being abused. Time for bed. Have a great day.
.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Sweeti, from my experience if you can stop drinking now, and not pick up tomorrow, things will look different tomorrow.
I didn’t realise you had schizophrenia, and bipolar. I know people with both, and they take medication, to ease the symptoms. I also know from what they’ve told me, that drinking alcohol, negates their medication and it’s positive effects, and consequently, the adverse symptoms of their diagnoses flare up.
Have you had a recent review of your bi-polar and schizophrenia medication, to ensure that the amounts are appropriate. I’d urge you to consult your doctor ASAP.
I didn’t realise you had schizophrenia, and bipolar. I know people with both, and they take medication, to ease the symptoms. I also know from what they’ve told me, that drinking alcohol, negates their medication and it’s positive effects, and consequently, the adverse symptoms of their diagnoses flare up.
Have you had a recent review of your bi-polar and schizophrenia medication, to ensure that the amounts are appropriate. I’d urge you to consult your doctor ASAP.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sweetichick1
You seem to have forgotten I suffer from both bipolar and schizophrenia.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
. No one shows any love or understanding
BS. people not typing what ya want to read and typing what ya need to read is done because they love and understand.
Jesus called people on their BS even,sweeti. didnt sugarcoat His message quite a few times-said it like it is.
did He not love and understand?
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by sweetichick1
PPS. There are no more meetings tonight and there’s no way I would have risked driving in the dark 20 minutes while still getting over concussion.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
OK guys - everyones frustrated.
I know you're frustrated sweetichick - and not really with anyone here or your old sponsor.
You've received an amazing amount of support in this comunity - much more than back slaps and 'you go girl' - and I know you know that, deep down.
I know folks here are frustrated too because a lot of folks have really become involved and invested in your story. We want to see you win.
I remember back in my last days of drinking, I wouldn't walk to either of the AA groups in my suburb - one was 300m and the other maybe 600m - cos I couldn;t walk well and it was dark and dangerous - valid reasons...
but then I'd *run* a much longer distance at 10 to 10 on a Friday night to get to the bottle shop before it closed @ 10.
I'd be surprised if there's anyone here reading who doesn't remember what that feels like.
I never did get to those AA meetings, - maybe if I had I'd have had an easier time of quitting - but...the point is I quit, for good.
I knew for certain my repeated drunken falls, my progressive lack of leg power and all my other medical issues were going to see me in a home at best and in the ground at worst.
so...I really plugged myself in here and posted here every time I wanted to drink - sometimes I posted about it but more often I posted to others - either way it was a lot of effort but it worked and I stayed sober, and staying sober got easier.
I know you have many of the same fears I did.
I don't know whats behind your short circuiting of the fears for your future and drinking again - maybe its a still greater fear of having to face life sober? but I hope you get past it.
You've had a lot of suggestions on what to do from AA to rehab and back again - I really can't add to those, and I can't make you do anything.
Noone here can.
I just know there's no good road ahead for you if you don't stop. Like I've said before I don't want to add you to the SR memorial list.
Fight this sweetichick.
D
I know you're frustrated sweetichick - and not really with anyone here or your old sponsor.
You've received an amazing amount of support in this comunity - much more than back slaps and 'you go girl' - and I know you know that, deep down.
I know folks here are frustrated too because a lot of folks have really become involved and invested in your story. We want to see you win.
I remember back in my last days of drinking, I wouldn't walk to either of the AA groups in my suburb - one was 300m and the other maybe 600m - cos I couldn;t walk well and it was dark and dangerous - valid reasons...
but then I'd *run* a much longer distance at 10 to 10 on a Friday night to get to the bottle shop before it closed @ 10.
I'd be surprised if there's anyone here reading who doesn't remember what that feels like.
I never did get to those AA meetings, - maybe if I had I'd have had an easier time of quitting - but...the point is I quit, for good.
I knew for certain my repeated drunken falls, my progressive lack of leg power and all my other medical issues were going to see me in a home at best and in the ground at worst.
so...I really plugged myself in here and posted here every time I wanted to drink - sometimes I posted about it but more often I posted to others - either way it was a lot of effort but it worked and I stayed sober, and staying sober got easier.
I know you have many of the same fears I did.
I don't know whats behind your short circuiting of the fears for your future and drinking again - maybe its a still greater fear of having to face life sober? but I hope you get past it.
You've had a lot of suggestions on what to do from AA to rehab and back again - I really can't add to those, and I can't make you do anything.
Noone here can.
I just know there's no good road ahead for you if you don't stop. Like I've said before I don't want to add you to the SR memorial list.
Fight this sweetichick.
D
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
Boy, this is disappointing to hear. I let myself get suckered into thinking maybe this time, after 7 days in a row not drinking and years of "trying", would be the time it stuck. In my heart I knew better though because there was still no action being taken. Netflix won't keep anyone sober and just not drinking doesn't work for an Alcoholic.
I don't really have anything constructive to add. Everyone here has beaten there head against this wall over and over with constructive ways to help and all of the advice and guidance has gone in one ear and out the other. There is not a single thing that anyone here can tell you that you haven't already heard. There is simply no more advice to give. You have all the answers but continue to ignore them.
I would like to say that hearing the excuses coming back is tough to hear. This is something that only you can do and you have chosen not to. At 7 days you were as physically sober as I am at 7 years and made the choice to drink. It's not this sites fault, it's not a local AA members fault and it's not the fault of bi-polar. My uncle was bi-polar and was an Alcoholic who sobered up 20+ years before he passed away. Just being an Alcoholic means you are not mentally the same as others so we all have our issues but us sober folks have chosen to deal with those issues in order to be sober and to make our lives better.
I sincerely hope that you will, for once, finally heed some advice and get to an AA meeting and start working the steps with a sponsor as if your life depends on it.
I don't really have anything constructive to add. Everyone here has beaten there head against this wall over and over with constructive ways to help and all of the advice and guidance has gone in one ear and out the other. There is not a single thing that anyone here can tell you that you haven't already heard. There is simply no more advice to give. You have all the answers but continue to ignore them.
I would like to say that hearing the excuses coming back is tough to hear. This is something that only you can do and you have chosen not to. At 7 days you were as physically sober as I am at 7 years and made the choice to drink. It's not this sites fault, it's not a local AA members fault and it's not the fault of bi-polar. My uncle was bi-polar and was an Alcoholic who sobered up 20+ years before he passed away. Just being an Alcoholic means you are not mentally the same as others so we all have our issues but us sober folks have chosen to deal with those issues in order to be sober and to make our lives better.
I sincerely hope that you will, for once, finally heed some advice and get to an AA meeting and start working the steps with a sponsor as if your life depends on it.
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