Moodiness
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Moodiness
For some reason today I woke up in a grumpy mood. Moody, testy, crabby, irritable, etc.
It took almost two years in recovery for my emotional health to stabilize. Before then there were periods of deep depression and hopelessness. These days my overall baseline demeanor is happiness and contentment. But there are still moments like these.
I attend counseling sessions with a social worker as part of my recovery and I had asked her about this in the past. As silly as this may sound I had forgotten how my emotional state of mind had been before I started drinking. When I get cranky like this I don't know if that's considered normal or if that is indicative of something bigger. She says that one's emotional state is not static and there is nothing wrong per se with being moody now and then.
That's my state of mind right now. I'm not unhappy or depressed just a little bit cantankerous.
Does anybody get these moods now and then? If so do you believe it is something bigger or just a fleeting state?
It took almost two years in recovery for my emotional health to stabilize. Before then there were periods of deep depression and hopelessness. These days my overall baseline demeanor is happiness and contentment. But there are still moments like these.
I attend counseling sessions with a social worker as part of my recovery and I had asked her about this in the past. As silly as this may sound I had forgotten how my emotional state of mind had been before I started drinking. When I get cranky like this I don't know if that's considered normal or if that is indicative of something bigger. She says that one's emotional state is not static and there is nothing wrong per se with being moody now and then.
That's my state of mind right now. I'm not unhappy or depressed just a little bit cantankerous.
Does anybody get these moods now and then? If so do you believe it is something bigger or just a fleeting state?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
In my experience -
"We were restless, irritable, and discontent"... I drank & drugged to change the way I felt, or to 'enhance' the way I felt (or wanted to feel). That worked great until ... the consequences piled up against me ... then it got to the point where it didn't work anymore, but I kept trying 'to get there' ... which led to more consequences, and to the inner place of pure living hell.
Then, I worked the Steps and the full program. It brought a complete new FREEDOM. But, I now had these 'feelings' - Instincts that had been out of control and warped by my self-will-run-riot, and emotions, which I had always drowned out.
So now ... 'Boredom', or 'Uncomfortableness', or 'I Just Don't Feel Right' signals the old automatic behavior - I need to drown this out - but actually, I realize this is a 'valid' emotional feeling based on my circumstances, current state-of-mind, etc. WHY can't I just 'experience' this? Kind of like grief over a lost loved one, or... - I would have always drowned that out, rather than 'experience' it. So, I let myself 'experience' the uncomfortableness, THEN do my Program Work - contemplate the Serenity Prayer, the 3rd Step-7th Step-11th Step Prayers. Do a self-inventory on the circumstances, what parts of me are being affected, where this may be originating from, what am I doing to cause or perpetuate this, do I owe an amends to someone, call others that are working the Program, post on Sober Recovery, pray for direction.
Then, I ask myself - do I REALLY want to do ANY WORK that may get me involved in ANYTHING that would actually get me outside of my Self-Pity or Self-Defeating state of mind?
Per the Program - We Manufacture Our Own Misery ... and We Absolutely Insist on Being Happy, Joyous and FREE.
Then I read the 11th Step Prayer again, and Step 12. Then I FORCE myself to take action.
RDBplus3
"We were restless, irritable, and discontent"... I drank & drugged to change the way I felt, or to 'enhance' the way I felt (or wanted to feel). That worked great until ... the consequences piled up against me ... then it got to the point where it didn't work anymore, but I kept trying 'to get there' ... which led to more consequences, and to the inner place of pure living hell.
Then, I worked the Steps and the full program. It brought a complete new FREEDOM. But, I now had these 'feelings' - Instincts that had been out of control and warped by my self-will-run-riot, and emotions, which I had always drowned out.
So now ... 'Boredom', or 'Uncomfortableness', or 'I Just Don't Feel Right' signals the old automatic behavior - I need to drown this out - but actually, I realize this is a 'valid' emotional feeling based on my circumstances, current state-of-mind, etc. WHY can't I just 'experience' this? Kind of like grief over a lost loved one, or... - I would have always drowned that out, rather than 'experience' it. So, I let myself 'experience' the uncomfortableness, THEN do my Program Work - contemplate the Serenity Prayer, the 3rd Step-7th Step-11th Step Prayers. Do a self-inventory on the circumstances, what parts of me are being affected, where this may be originating from, what am I doing to cause or perpetuate this, do I owe an amends to someone, call others that are working the Program, post on Sober Recovery, pray for direction.
Then, I ask myself - do I REALLY want to do ANY WORK that may get me involved in ANYTHING that would actually get me outside of my Self-Pity or Self-Defeating state of mind?
Per the Program - We Manufacture Our Own Misery ... and We Absolutely Insist on Being Happy, Joyous and FREE.
Then I read the 11th Step Prayer again, and Step 12. Then I FORCE myself to take action.
RDBplus3
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Funny you bring this up today as I felt the exact same. I am just in an awkward, grumpy and generally people annoy me kind of a mood. I spent some time wondering “is this due to something bigger or deeper, should I try to get to the root of it etc etc”
Like you I am not depressed or particularly unhappy or anything and the conclusion I came to is not everything I feel needs to be put under a microscope and dissected. I am just grumpy and that is ok, it wouldn’t be normal if I was happy all the time, that is not reality lol. If I am feeling the same in a few days then maybe I will look into it more but one day of grumpiness is just that and no need to make a big deal out of it. Dunno if that helps at all! x
Like you I am not depressed or particularly unhappy or anything and the conclusion I came to is not everything I feel needs to be put under a microscope and dissected. I am just grumpy and that is ok, it wouldn’t be normal if I was happy all the time, that is not reality lol. If I am feeling the same in a few days then maybe I will look into it more but one day of grumpiness is just that and no need to make a big deal out of it. Dunno if that helps at all! x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Yeah I think I'm overthinking it. Mental/emotional health is a big priority in my life so maybe I freak out a little bit if I'm feeling slightly off. I think random bouts of moodiness is normal for anybody but because of my history with alcohol abuse I'm not 100% sure what normal is.
Actually I'm not even grumpy anymore. I had a nice lunch and being engaged in fellowship always lifts me up.
Actually I'm not even grumpy anymore. I had a nice lunch and being engaged in fellowship always lifts me up.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I hope you wake up better tomorrow..I believe this is just part of the human condition...which we didn't know before because we were hung over or too busy thinking about the next drink....and attributed our bad moods to people, places and things..
I think it is normal to have "off" days.
I think it is normal to have "off" days.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
If you're feeling good most of the time, that's great. I know I have days when I am down and days when I am cranky. Usually I know what it's about, but not always. The main thing is to know that it won't last. You will feel better. 
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