One Month
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
One Month
As I check in here before my nightly prayers, I am reflecting on these last 30 days...
I made the decision to get serious about sobriety after a mental bottom, a breakdown and opening of my mind and heart. I could not do it anymore. It was drink or die.
I went to my first meeting on my actual bday and never stopped going. I am not only going to do 90 in 90 days, I am going to go every day until I cannot. I love AA and the people that I have met have changed my life in the most serious and drastic and mostly, humbling way. I have an extension of my family now. I have a group of girls who call and text me everyday, who I genuinely love and wan to see succeed with me on this journey.
I have a caring, amazing and strong sponsor who checks me at the door and checks up on me everyday, as a mother would. She is taking me through the steps and reassures me everyday that I deserve this and more.
My friends and family are proud of me. My mother is happy and relaxed for the first time in years, decades. My whole family is happy for the first time...ever.
I am getting love from all over the world from family and friends, who I never let in but once I did, MY GOD the love. It is flowing in and out of me like a river.
I pray every night, I thank God as I know him, the Universe and the flow of this beautiful world, and it's miraculous plan if you JUST SURRENDER TO IT. I cry now, but it is because I either relate to you and feel your story or I am filled with gratitude that the Universe has brought me you. I have no judgement, anger or hate left in me anymore. It is gone, as is the desire the drink.
I meditate, try every day and give myself 1, 2, 5 minutes of time. I give time time, something I never did.
I have a notebook filled with the sayings and thoughts of my peers, who touch and teach every day. These fellows, including the ones here, continue to humble and guide me, whether they know it or not.
I act on kindness first and do not wish to get found out, it is for me and my soul. I am affectionate and express myself and my feelings. I am self-aware and can catch my thoughts and shut them down with positive thinking. I can stay out of gossip and say, "It's not really my business." I can tell people I am not qualified, that I am still figuring out my stuff and know that is ok.
I got a job, a good one, where I will be happy and fulfilled and in a good environment.
I am able to be present and show up for my niece, five months old and impressionable and damn if I don't give her the best impression of myself and this gorgeous life and all she can do.
I am there for my elderly dog, who suffered with me and loved me unconditionally through it all, who sat while I cried and is the reason I didn't take my own life multiple times. I believe with all of my being that he was waiting for me to be ok, and when the day comes that he shall change form and leave his body, I will be present for him and there for him as he was always for me.
I am there for my parents now, fully and ready to be there for them as they grow older and take care of my sister so they can have peace of mind. I will love them and let go of all past and not worry about the future, and I will enjoy every moment, gain it all back.
All of this and more, is what I see within my first 30 days. Damn. What a gift. All I had to do was let go.
Goodnight,
Nicole
I made the decision to get serious about sobriety after a mental bottom, a breakdown and opening of my mind and heart. I could not do it anymore. It was drink or die.
I went to my first meeting on my actual bday and never stopped going. I am not only going to do 90 in 90 days, I am going to go every day until I cannot. I love AA and the people that I have met have changed my life in the most serious and drastic and mostly, humbling way. I have an extension of my family now. I have a group of girls who call and text me everyday, who I genuinely love and wan to see succeed with me on this journey.
I have a caring, amazing and strong sponsor who checks me at the door and checks up on me everyday, as a mother would. She is taking me through the steps and reassures me everyday that I deserve this and more.
My friends and family are proud of me. My mother is happy and relaxed for the first time in years, decades. My whole family is happy for the first time...ever.
I am getting love from all over the world from family and friends, who I never let in but once I did, MY GOD the love. It is flowing in and out of me like a river.
I pray every night, I thank God as I know him, the Universe and the flow of this beautiful world, and it's miraculous plan if you JUST SURRENDER TO IT. I cry now, but it is because I either relate to you and feel your story or I am filled with gratitude that the Universe has brought me you. I have no judgement, anger or hate left in me anymore. It is gone, as is the desire the drink.
I meditate, try every day and give myself 1, 2, 5 minutes of time. I give time time, something I never did.
I have a notebook filled with the sayings and thoughts of my peers, who touch and teach every day. These fellows, including the ones here, continue to humble and guide me, whether they know it or not.
I act on kindness first and do not wish to get found out, it is for me and my soul. I am affectionate and express myself and my feelings. I am self-aware and can catch my thoughts and shut them down with positive thinking. I can stay out of gossip and say, "It's not really my business." I can tell people I am not qualified, that I am still figuring out my stuff and know that is ok.
I got a job, a good one, where I will be happy and fulfilled and in a good environment.
I am able to be present and show up for my niece, five months old and impressionable and damn if I don't give her the best impression of myself and this gorgeous life and all she can do.
I am there for my elderly dog, who suffered with me and loved me unconditionally through it all, who sat while I cried and is the reason I didn't take my own life multiple times. I believe with all of my being that he was waiting for me to be ok, and when the day comes that he shall change form and leave his body, I will be present for him and there for him as he was always for me.
I am there for my parents now, fully and ready to be there for them as they grow older and take care of my sister so they can have peace of mind. I will love them and let go of all past and not worry about the future, and I will enjoy every moment, gain it all back.
All of this and more, is what I see within my first 30 days. Damn. What a gift. All I had to do was let go.
Goodnight,
Nicole
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
You have received many gifts in 30 days....its amazing the psychic change we experience and the fact you are capturing your experience in notes is a good thing to look back on to see how far you have come..
Congratulations on making it 30 days!
Congratulations on making it 30 days!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 141
Congrats NicLin! You sound so good....I remember reading your first posts a month ago and something about them resonated with me (I was just a few weeks in when I read your posts). You sound like you’re in such a better place than a month ago. Thank you for posting and I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
NicLin.
Congratulations! You are truly an inspiration and a miracle. What caught my eye in your beautiful post is when you say you are present. You have been given the gift of sobriety, and I feel your gratitude. Thank you for posting and for the hope you share. I had a sponsor just like yours and the lady truly helped save my life. God bless you and yours.
Congratulations! You are truly an inspiration and a miracle. What caught my eye in your beautiful post is when you say you are present. You have been given the gift of sobriety, and I feel your gratitude. Thank you for posting and for the hope you share. I had a sponsor just like yours and the lady truly helped save my life. God bless you and yours.
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