Misssy2

IS HARD! But drinking would for sure make me worry MORE I think...and would also give me more anxiety....which my anxiety is thru the roof anyway.

I keep my phone volume off...cause the phone gives me anxiety....and in the past my kids...everytime they called me it was a big problem....so I just have volume off.

I was waiting for medical test results and Dr said he would call me only if he had to....and the tests were 2 weeks ago...and I forgot about them....and today he left me a message that he wants to discuss my test results.

All my systems in my body reved up...heart racing...pulse...trouble breathing...bad anxiety...and so I called back but he had left the office so he can't talk to me tomorrow.

In the past I would have went right to the liquor store...and that was NOT the first thing that I thought of today. ...However I did think of it eventually...

And then I told myself...that is OLD HABIT...that is how you squash the "fear"....and you can't now....it is really hard to have feelings and fear.....

I am not having cravings to drink...but I do have cravings to stop feeling like this....I just keep telling myself...Whatever..at least you went to this DR.....and at least medicine is better now adays….and drinking will not change whatever he is going to tell you....and drinking is not going to FIX whatever is wrong...but I have to constantly tell myself these things.

My stomach literally is tied up in a big knot...But I bet that I will just go to bed at normal time..take normal meds..and wake up and "deal" with whatever it is tomorrow.

I am PROUD of my coping skills right now....

I could convince myself to drink very easily.

AnvilheadII

waiting for news from the doctor is almost criminal! it's very hard to keep the mind from going a thousand different places with a thousand bad outcomes.

most excellent job of seeing that alcohol won't fix or change a thing, but could make things a whole lot worse.

hit that pillow sober and you will be able to deal with tomorrow with a clear head. wishing you the very best. no matter what!

babycat

Oh girl, literally the EXACT same thing for me two days ago!!! It is the worst! Waiting is the worst. Like when someone says they need to talk to you, just freaking say what you have to say! Anyway, good on you for staying sober. I so understand just wanting that terrible feeling to go away. You are doing awesome!! I have read all your threads and I could not be prouder of you. I think if you had really bad news, your doc would be a bit more emphatic as to how much he/she needs to talk to you. That was how I felt when I got the message from my doc that they wanted to go over my results 2 days ago and I was not able to speak to her till today. And, happy to report my results are pretty good. Will require some very minor surgery, but overall, nothing too serious. I hope and think the same for you!!!!

Misssy2

I smiled because you answered and I smiled because you understood....most will..but you were the first one and in this panic mode...it helped.

I need to drop the panic mode...but like you said..my mind goes....and I use the computer and I really think of the worst...and then am I imagining these new symptoms? LOL....

If I was drunk...I would be texting everyone and saying OMG...something is wrong with me...looking for attention....There is someone I want to text cause I don't want to be nervous alone...but this is less personal and very helpful here on SR.
thank you.

Verdantia

Hey, Missy. I'm so proud of you for dealing with real life instead of drinking and just feeling more anxious--drinking is always the wrong decision. Wishing you peace and comfort and good results to your tests.

Misssy2

Your post made me LOL because that is exactly what I said to my phone and startled my 80 year old DAD yelling at my phone ....Just "f-ing say what you want to talk to me about!".

My Dad has dementia and it freaked him out..he said who are you yelling at? You scared me?

I was then on edge and I called back Dr 2 hours later to see if he got my message that I got HIS message to call me back??? They said he left for the day...

And the EDGNIESS ramped up big time and that is when I thought of alcohol....
And that is when I started to REDIRECT my thoughts very quickly.

I'm glad your tests came back ok....I know mine is something too..but like you said....it PROBABLY will result in less than I am thinking!

Misssy2

Thank you a lot...it feels good to have people care....without me having to be drunk and text everyone....

I'm able to stop..think and breathe...if I was drinking...No..I wouldn't be able to stop or think....

babycat

Yes, everything in our head is almost always a million times worse than the reality. Hang in there!!! I know, far easier said than done.

Misssy2

I have just told myself with your help and others...that....

Honestly, I have good Dr....whatever is wrong...I went...found it.....(where I wouldn't have went if I was drunk)…..and it will be ok.

TY

babycat

Exactly.

Dee74

Hoping for a good result Missy

D

Tetrax

Nice work utilising your coping skills to deal with anxiety. The more we do it sober the more we know we can! Let us know how you get on. Wishing you well