Regret & Remorse - Do they, will they ever go away? Weekenders 16 - 19 August 2019
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Yes, Happy Birthday Vman.
I just made a serendipitous discovery reviewing one of our software projects which was a nice way to end the day. Thanks to all for another weekend successfully navigated.
Here's a positive article from the BBC today for a late night read:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49355057
Maybe times are changing...
Goodnight all. Forwards.
I just made a serendipitous discovery reviewing one of our software projects which was a nice way to end the day. Thanks to all for another weekend successfully navigated.
Here's a positive article from the BBC today for a late night read:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49355057
Maybe times are changing...
Goodnight all. Forwards.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,754
Originally Posted by Forwards 
Yes, Happy Birthday Vman.
I just made a serendipitous discovery reviewing one of our software projects which was a nice way to end the day. Thanks to all for another weekend successfully navigated.
Here's a positive article from the BBC today for a late night read:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49355057
Maybe times are changing...
Goodnight all. Forwards.
I just made a serendipitous discovery reviewing one of our software projects which was a nice way to end the day. Thanks to all for another weekend successfully navigated.
Here's a positive article from the BBC today for a late night read:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49355057
Maybe times are changing...
Goodnight all. Forwards.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
I enjoyed the article above. I’m always happy to read society is finally done glamorizing benders and blackouts. That lemongrass ginger NA beverage sounds delicious.
This weekends topic was deep for me. At two weeks I’m not ready to plunge into my own forgiveness. I did spend over 5 hours in the gym since Thursday and two hours of yoga. This morning I meditated on forgiveness during yoga. I had a thought “ I am not who I was”. I think maybe the guilt n remorse is instant karma. We pay for our actions with heavy guilt and remorse maybe as an evolutionary response so we don’t repeat our harmful actions again. That’s kind of how I’m able to frame it right now and not overwhelm myself. I did awful things drunk, and drank heavily for awful things I did sober and drunk. I can’t be that person anymore. Still not forgiving myself but able to put it in perspective.
Im up late on a Sunday. I may be tired tomorrow at work, but I won’t be hungover, anxious and overwhelmed with guilt. Good night SR, happy start to the work week tomorrow. We made it through sober.
This weekends topic was deep for me. At two weeks I’m not ready to plunge into my own forgiveness. I did spend over 5 hours in the gym since Thursday and two hours of yoga. This morning I meditated on forgiveness during yoga. I had a thought “ I am not who I was”. I think maybe the guilt n remorse is instant karma. We pay for our actions with heavy guilt and remorse maybe as an evolutionary response so we don’t repeat our harmful actions again. That’s kind of how I’m able to frame it right now and not overwhelm myself. I did awful things drunk, and drank heavily for awful things I did sober and drunk. I can’t be that person anymore. Still not forgiving myself but able to put it in perspective.
Im up late on a Sunday. I may be tired tomorrow at work, but I won’t be hungover, anxious and overwhelmed with guilt. Good night SR, happy start to the work week tomorrow. We made it through sober.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,627
Mariposa, people who matter will forgive and forget, my husband has done to me, but the hardest forgiveness came from me. We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, we need to be kind to ourselves.
And you reminded me of a memory of my dad. He was the nicest man sober. A really nice dad. But drunk he was the nastiest person on Earth, or so it seemed. Mum called him Jekyll and Hyde. When mum died and a few years later he remarried and he toned his drinking down. My step mum would never put up with that behaviour and he knew it.
So the last few years of his life he was a lovely man, a good husband and a good dad.
And you reminded me of a memory of my dad. He was the nicest man sober. A really nice dad. But drunk he was the nastiest person on Earth, or so it seemed. Mum called him Jekyll and Hyde. When mum died and a few years later he remarried and he toned his drinking down. My step mum would never put up with that behaviour and he knew it.
So the last few years of his life he was a lovely man, a good husband and a good dad.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,172
NA wine is OK for risotto, that's about it imo.
Congratulations on 5 hours in the gym mariposa, that is very impressive.
I hope everyone made it through the weekend OK, if not make this your last drinking weekend.
It's a bit too soon for me to be going back to work after my hernia op even though my job is sedentary but I am getting cabin fever at Saoutchik Towers. I might take a taxi into work for a couple of hours ourside of the rush hour.
Congratulations on 5 hours in the gym mariposa, that is very impressive.
I hope everyone made it through the weekend OK, if not make this your last drinking weekend.
It's a bit too soon for me to be going back to work after my hernia op even though my job is sedentary but I am getting cabin fever at Saoutchik Towers. I might take a taxi into work for a couple of hours ourside of the rush hour.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Another sober weekend in the bag! Sat here with little Max on my knee, purring like a machine and suckling on his favourite blanket, he’s very hungry but we’re off to the vets for “trouble nugget” removal in 30 mins so he can’t have any food. x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Mags1
I got excited more than I should when I saw non alcoholic wine... For me I leave well alone.
I have no use for fake alcohol. Water, coffee or tea. That's it for me. Water at restaurants. Makes it easy (and cheap!)
Good luck little Max. Aww. Poor little guy. When I worked at the animal shelter I had many foster animals that were in recovery from those operations. Head scratches for you, Max.
Head scratches for sao too - if you think it would help. I can't imagine going into work if I didn't have to.
Yes. Sober Monday. No regrets, no remorse - except I did too many squats and now I have muscle pain.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,805
Belated Happy Birthday, VMAN!
Room, I remember feeling like I'd never forgive myself, and neither would anyone else. That was right before I quit drinking, and for a while after I did. I felt like the lowest of the low, and just could not imagine any grace in my life. But I was going to AA, and I heard other peoples' stories of how they were, and how their lives had turned around, and I had hope for the first time in a long time. And I joined here after about a month sober and got even more reassurance that things would get better, and I might someday find some peace. And I did. When we are still drinking, or newly sober, it can really seem bleak. We are not thinking straight, and the depressive effects of alcohol can be really rough for some (most?) of us. But for me, once I got the booze out of my system and started to put some distance between me and the bad behavior, it really did improve. Took time, Took work. Wasn't super fun or easy. I had some really really bad days along the way. But now, I am at peace most of the time, and can put things in perspective much better. I hope you (and everyone else who may be reading and feeling hopeless) can achieve lasting sobriety and find the peace I have.
I was away from SR all weekend, as I usually am. It was a busy weekend, not as relaxing as I generally like my weekends to be. Went to a nice wedding on Saturday, Man friend and I left the reception right after dinner, before the dancing started. I was tired. I wasn't afraid of the drinking at the wedding (it was not "that" kind of wedding, really) I was just ready to be home alone by then. Before that, I was at the American Legion post I'm a member of because it was the 100th anniversary of the American Legion as a whole, and of our post. Then I had to mow my lawn, and do some other things around the house. Yesterday was more stuff around the house, and a very long walk and then lunch with man friend. All in all, a nice weekend.
Room, I remember feeling like I'd never forgive myself, and neither would anyone else. That was right before I quit drinking, and for a while after I did. I felt like the lowest of the low, and just could not imagine any grace in my life. But I was going to AA, and I heard other peoples' stories of how they were, and how their lives had turned around, and I had hope for the first time in a long time. And I joined here after about a month sober and got even more reassurance that things would get better, and I might someday find some peace. And I did. When we are still drinking, or newly sober, it can really seem bleak. We are not thinking straight, and the depressive effects of alcohol can be really rough for some (most?) of us. But for me, once I got the booze out of my system and started to put some distance between me and the bad behavior, it really did improve. Took time, Took work. Wasn't super fun or easy. I had some really really bad days along the way. But now, I am at peace most of the time, and can put things in perspective much better. I hope you (and everyone else who may be reading and feeling hopeless) can achieve lasting sobriety and find the peace I have.
I was away from SR all weekend, as I usually am. It was a busy weekend, not as relaxing as I generally like my weekends to be. Went to a nice wedding on Saturday, Man friend and I left the reception right after dinner, before the dancing started. I was tired. I wasn't afraid of the drinking at the wedding (it was not "that" kind of wedding, really) I was just ready to be home alone by then. Before that, I was at the American Legion post I'm a member of because it was the 100th anniversary of the American Legion as a whole, and of our post. Then I had to mow my lawn, and do some other things around the house. Yesterday was more stuff around the house, and a very long walk and then lunch with man friend. All in all, a nice weekend.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by STDragon
OK, NA beer I can understand. NA wine maybe (IMO it's horrid) but NA gin? really?
"Nico von Stackelberg, analyst at Liberum, says: "There's a significant rise in alcohol-free drinking across the western world, including the US. In terms of economics, it absolutely makes sense to be involved.
"Younger people do not want to be seen as drunk on social media. Heavy episodic drinking is not deemed to be cool. Importantly, the industry does not want excessive consumption and spends millions to avoid such behaviour," he adds.
Research shows that the young are drinking less. A report in the medical journal BMC Public Health and carried out by University College London showed that the proportion of 16 to 24-year-olds who do not drink alcohol has increased from 18% in 2005 to 29% in 2015."
Forwards.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,805
That is excellent news, Forwards. My son is 17, and he and his friends do not drink, even though underage drinking has long been a "thing" where I live (I grew up here, too). It used to be the cool kids who drank underage here. I was not a drinker in high school - I didn't start until I got to college and was of legal drinking age. He tells me that it's really not that common anymore, and that he and the kids he knows don't think it's cool. So that's hopeful.
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