Been planning to quit drinking tomorrow... for months. Can't get through day 1. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-14-2019, 03:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7

Been planning to quit drinking tomorrow... for months. Can't get through day 1.


I have been a drinker for awhile. About 20 years. After my divorce about two years ago, I fell apart. I went from drinking 1-3 nights a week with friends to drinking every day, sometimes starting early in the morning. My life has gotten better, my depression has decreased, but I still keep thinking I don't really need to quit, just cut down. I was able to control my drinking in the past. I am into working out and fitness. I did a fitness challenge for 90 days where I only drank 1 Saturday per month. It went great. I want to start cutting down by only drinking on Saturday nights if I go out with friends. I keep pushing it back because every day something seems to come up where I feel I should have a few drinks and relax and start tomorrow. I know how this sounds. I just can't imagine doing total abstinence. I am thinking of committing to thirty days and going from there. I just got a new job that will keep me really busy so that will be helpful. The last year I had inconsistent work and too much time on my hands! This should really help me. I am sure of it! Any advice is appreciated.
Femaleinflorida is offline   Reply With Quote
Femaleinflorida found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Femaleinflorida For This Useful Post:
Ghostlight1 (08-14-2019), least (08-14-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), ReadyAtLast (08-15-2019), soberclover (08-14-2019), sugarbear1 (08-14-2019), undertow321 (08-14-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 04:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 81,571
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome to the family. Quitting for a month is a noble goal, but why not make it for 3 months, so you'll really see how different living sober is from the drinking life. At any rate, I hope our support helps you get sober.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Ghostlight1 (08-14-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 04:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
nez
Member
 
nez's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,049
My drinking was progressive. My abstinence is also proving to be progressive. I went from having trouble imagining never drinking again, to having trouble imagining that I would ever drink again. That is freedom. Not drinking is perfectly acceptable behavior and there is nothing wrong with. I repeat...there is nothing wrong with not drinking. I can't say the same thing is true for me about drinking.
nez is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to nez For This Useful Post:
Abraham (08-15-2019), least (08-14-2019), Lucinda2 (08-30-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Outonthetiles (08-21-2019), ReadyAtLast (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019), Zebra1275 (08-14-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 04:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 990
Why not repeat the fitness challenge? Can you do that? Sounds like you did good then....

I know it is hard to stop....I have been where you are...and kept saying tomorrow...tomorrow...I just had to really have a tomorrow "finally"....and how I got thru that was NOT PRETTY......Horrible withdrawals (I had)Ö..

But for me at 55 now...it was continue to drink and die.
Or quit and live....
Misssy2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Misssy2 For This Useful Post:
Mags1 (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 04:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Hello and welcome . um thats cool on your intentions however like some said give sobriety a longer test run if you will. Me I'm at 102 days and I wouldnt trade it for the world. I cut that ball and chain out of my life. And no regrets. But it is different strokes for different folks. Keep coming back
SoberRican is offline   Reply With Quote
SoberRican found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SoberRican For This Useful Post:
least (08-14-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), someday147 (08-14-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 04:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by soberrican View Post
i cut that ball and chain out of my life.
i love this
Misssy2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Misssy2 For This Useful Post:
Mags1 (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 05:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Obladi's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 4,218
Blog Entries: 9
Of course many here are going to say quit for good and get it over with. But that's a daunting thought for many people, hence the slogan "One day at a time."

I think committing to thirty days is an awesome idea. Like you, I couldn't even manage facing that 1 day for the longest time. I also used to be able to control my drinking, but that ship sailed quite some time ago and it's never coming back. Do the 30, then reassess. I'll bet you'll feel great and be motivated to continue.

What's your quit date? How about tomorrow (assuming you've already started today)? That would be an awesome way to start the weekend, wouldn't it?
__________________
Speaker said, "The reality is that only one of you in this room is going to make it." I'm going to be The One.
- Sentiment courtesy of Middlest
Obladi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Obladi For This Useful Post:
Bethany57 (08-15-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Numblady (08-15-2019), Patterson (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 06:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 201
FiF,
I continued to drink for a very long time after admitting to myself that it was a problem. I drank while pondering, ďAm I an alcoholic?Ē I drank while reading about sobriety. I drank while reading the stories of others. I drank while watching myself get older. And on and on.

I didnít decide to quit for good, and I didnít decide I was an alcoholic. Drinking was doing me no favors, so I set it aside and worked to do something different.

I donít have to experience the most dreadful consequences of problem drinking to make a change. ďRock bottomĒ is not a requirement. I was still ďfunctioning ď, but being a bit higher up on the hill still meant I was careening towards the bottom.

I encourage you to read the vast experience here. And as nez wisely said, sobriety has its own momentum. 2 years in, and I wouldnít have it any other way. And 2 years ago, I couldnít imagine saying that.
Best wishes,
-bora
__________________
My house burned down. Now I can better see the rising moon.
Mizuta Masahide
boreas is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to boreas For This Useful Post:
Abraham (08-15-2019), least (08-14-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 06:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 212
I am of the mind that if you think you might have a drinking problem, you probably do. That being said, I can certainly relate to the feeling of not really wanting to quit, thinking I could moderate, white knuckling through "moderation" and being miserable.

It's a lot easier to just not do it. You save so much money, and since you're into "fitness" (I'm athletic myself), you will see big returns in the form of better physical performance, better body image, better skin -- everything. People were randomly telling me how great I looked and asking what had changed within two weeks of quitting. I'd just shrug, say thanks, and say I was on a diet or whatever, but it felt really good.

Committing yourself to 30 days is a good idea, but you might want to consider that everything you love to do drunk, you can do sober without the hangovers and shame and all the other crap.
__________________
I do not drink. I have no reason to drink and a million reasons not to. I'm so glad I don't drink! I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind.
ImNotThatGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ImNotThatGuy For This Useful Post:
least (08-14-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Patterson (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 07:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 181,430
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome to SR femaleinflorida

I couldn't imagine total abstinence either but my drinking got to a point that I had change or die.

I didn't die...and I found that not only did I survive not drinking, but I thrived

I hope you'll find that too

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
least (08-15-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019), Zebra1275 (08-14-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 09:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 10,053
Here is the highlight of my day today.

I didn't drink.

I'm going to go to bed sober in a few minutes, and tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and spend the day not drinking. Just by accomplishing that one thing, for one day at a time, my life is pretty great.

Now, I have a multitude of other things I've accomplished, and continue to accomplish in my life. But none of that matters if I drink, because alcohol can sabotage my life very quickly if I let it. I know myself well enough to know that if I have one beer, it won't be enough. And beer itself won't be enough, I will need to add vodka to the party. And soon I will circling the drain and running the risk of losing everything I value in life.

To avoid this devastating scenario I only need to do one thing. Don't drink today (and everyday when you wake up, it's "today" so you do it again).
Zebra1275 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (08-16-2019), biminiblue (08-15-2019), least (08-15-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), MLD51 (08-15-2019), Obladi (08-15-2019), ReadyAtLast (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-14-2019, 09:31 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 415
Like Dee said, I couldnít imagine total abstinence either but...

I gave up a number of times for anything from a few days to a month. I always relapsed. Now Iíve totally quit, I donít see those earlier attempts as failures. Instead they prepared me for quitting for good.

With the above in mind, if youíre aiming to quit for a month, thatís a good start and a real achievable target. It will be an unpleasant month Iím afraid, and Iíd imagine the odds are against you, although Iíd be delighted if you proved me wrong. At the end of that month, youíll be better off (and healthier) to plan ahead.

The reality for a heavy drinker is you need to quit 100%. However, I didnít achieve that first time. Itís incredibly hard to stop, and anyone whoís done so deserves high praise. But youíll be way happier than youíll ever imagine. Good luck 👍

Hodd is offline   Reply With Quote
Hodd found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Hodd For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-15-2019), least (08-15-2019), Mags1 (08-15-2019), Obladi (08-15-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-15-2019, 04:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 181,430
Blog Entries: 1
how are things femaleinflorida?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
least (08-15-2019)
Old 08-15-2019, 08:17 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
Day 1 done

Thank you to everyone who posted and gave me encouragement. It's 9pm and about to go to bed without having had any alcohol today 😁 It was a busy day off and on so that helped. I gotta keep busy, always feel like I need to be being productive, usually the only time I can let myself relax is sitting down to have some drinks but anyways...I found myself stressing about a couple things I can't do anything about, including not knowing for sure where I am going to be working this fall. I did an interview two days ago and anxious about if I'm getting the job or not. Anyways, I drank lots of water, green tea, water with ACV, and a strawberry soda. I almost drove to the store to just buy two beers but it was raining, and by the time it stopped I had decided that would be stupid. I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would but I'm sure I'll have more stressful days coming up. I'm sick of disappointing myself and really want to follow through on getting myself in a better place mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Thanks again guys!!!! Much appreciated.
Femaleinflorida is offline   Reply With Quote
Femaleinflorida found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Femaleinflorida For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (08-16-2019), DJ1 (08-16-2019), least (08-15-2019), Obladi (08-16-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-15-2019, 08:48 PM   #15 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 81,571
Blog Entries: 32
Day one is tough, so glad you got thru it sober. Do it again tomorrow. After a while, it will be the new normal.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-15-2019, 10:00 PM   #16 (permalink)
nez
Member
 
nez's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,049
Way to go Femaleinflorida!!! Congrats on day 1. Try not to worry and stress too much. Rejoice in the accomplishment of today. Whenever I start to run into the future and begin to stress and worry, I just remember that neither stress nor worry will take away tomorrow's challenges, but they will take away my chances for peace today.
nez is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nez For This Useful Post:
least (08-15-2019), Sapph21 (08-20-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Old 08-16-2019, 03:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
Obladi's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 4,218
Blog Entries: 9
Great Job!!!

Read Nez's post again - maybe even print it out so you can pull it out of your wallet and read whenever. It's a great way to approach sobriety & life in general.

Day 2, here you come!

O
__________________
Speaker said, "The reality is that only one of you in this room is going to make it." I'm going to be The One.
- Sentiment courtesy of Middlest
Obladi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2019, 04:07 AM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 
Callas's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 586
Zebraís post is profound. With drinking even good achievements pale into insignificance. The shame, horror and anxiety overpowers everything.
Callas is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Callas For This Useful Post:
Zebra1275 (08-18-2019)
Old 08-16-2019, 04:50 AM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
Midwest1981's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,248
FemaleinFlorida- welcome to SR and great job getting through day 1.

When I quit I couldnít imagine never drinking again. I didnít really want to give it up for life but after several months sober and realizing how much better I felt mentally and physically I couldnít imagine ever drinking again.

I have a hard time sitting still too. I go to the gym every day and burn off my extra energy. I joined the classes and met friends. I love getting in the pool too. I learned how to relax without drinking. Hot tea in the evenings, a good movie or book, a hot shower etc. Just think about all the things you can spend the extra money on. (School, trips, self care)

At first take it day by day. Remember HALT. Donít let yourself get hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. That way it is easier to beat those cravings. I am three years sober but I still donít go near the alcohol isle If I am hungry because I want those carbs!!
Midwest1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2019, 03:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
New Day 1

So....I was thinking about just drinking on Saturdays and I went out with the guy I'm dating and met my best friend (who drinks a lot regularly) for kareoke. I know I need to only drink light beers but when I am telling myself this is the only night for a week I'm going to drink, I go overboard. I drank IPAs and blacked out at least the last hour before I went to bed. My brain just can't do this anymore. I feel like such an idiot when I back out. It doesn't even take many drinks for me lately. So anyways.... Today is day 1. I started an 8 week fitness challenge today and no alcohol is part of the nutrition plan. I'm determined to stick to this plan. My birthday is coming up in about 6 weeks and I want to feel mentally and physically strong. I really need to post and use this site for support regularly. Also journaling helps me. And meditation. I know what I need to do. I just need to consistently do it!!!!
Femaleinflorida is offline   Reply With Quote
Femaleinflorida found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Femaleinflorida For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-19-2019), HeadEast (08-29-2019), least (08-20-2019), Obladi (08-19-2019), Verdantia (08-21-2019)
Reply

Tags
day1


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:56 AM.