Having to start again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
Having to start again
I got badly drunk last night and am very ashamed and upset about it.
What on earth possessed me last Thursday to buy all that booze?
The negative effect of it on me was instantaneous. A very poor attempt at moderation.
I never want to go through this again.
What on earth possessed me last Thursday to buy all that booze?
The negative effect of it on me was instantaneous. A very poor attempt at moderation.
I never want to go through this again.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
You are seeing first hand the danger of relapse. They are harder to pull out of then they are to fall into. So in the coming days and weeks, when you accumulate some sober time, don't toss it away. Those days are precious.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
What possessed you?!? Addiction my friend, that’s what possesses us. We have to be forever diligent. That urge to buy and drink alcohol doesn’t just go away. We can’t wait until it goes away to quit. We have to fight it. And the fight starts long before the urge. The work we do (AA, praying, reading, medication, working with others) is all like making deposits into an account. And every time we have an urge, we have to make a withdrawal. If you don’t make enough deposits, when it comes time to make a withdrawal you won’t have enough in the bank and you will use.
Start today making deposits, it is your only defense agains coming up short on the day you need to make a withdrawal and eventually drinking again.
Start today making deposits, it is your only defense agains coming up short on the day you need to make a withdrawal and eventually drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Stable 
I got badly drunk last night and am very ashamed and upset about it.
What on earth possessed me last Thursday to buy all that booze?
The negative effect of it on me was instantaneous. A very poor attempt at moderation.
I never want to go through this again.
What on earth possessed me last Thursday to buy all that booze?
The negative effect of it on me was instantaneous. A very poor attempt at moderation.
I never want to go through this again.
This is the baffling feature of our alcoholism. The utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how strong the desire or wish to do so.
Does this describe you roughly?:
“If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.
Once in a while he may tell the truth. And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count. AA Big Book Page 23.
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