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Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by HarvW 
[left]Thanks for the replies. I get it. I’ve “stopped” more times than I can count. Actually I’ve gone dry every January since 2007. Most years I make it to March 17th. Some years I don’t but always at least a month sober. When the drinking kicks back in however, it seems to get a little worse each year. The day drinking is new over the last few years.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by HarvW
Thanks for the replies. I get it. I’ve “stopped” more times than I can count. Actually I’ve gone dry every January since 2007. Most years I make it to March 17th. Some years I don’t but always at least a month sober. When the drinking kicks back in however, it seems to get a little worse each year. The day drinking is new over the last few years.
Sometimes I feel like I need scare of some kind to wake me up. I know that’s a stupid thing to say but I always talk myself into drinking again. I’m going to try to make this day one. I’ll probably be on here a lot as I know this is gonna be tough. Thanks for any help or advice.
Sometimes I feel like I need scare of some kind to wake me up. I know that’s a stupid thing to say but I always talk myself into drinking again. I’m going to try to make this day one. I’ll probably be on here a lot as I know this is gonna be tough. Thanks for any help or advice.
It's incredible how many scares some of us have - that DON'T "wake us up." I went thru many (many) things that might have prompted others to be DONE.
That's the word- DONE.
You have to stop, then you have to stay stopped, and as most of us have found, some plan (program, whatever you call it) to live in real recovery (very diff than a thing like Dry January).
It's simple- and incredibly not easy.
Glad you are here - it is terrifying to stop for a lot of reasons. But that's the first thing you have to do. Up to you if you "want to be sober more than you want to drink."
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
I'm glad you're here Harv - welcome 
I was ambivalent about quitting when I got here - even tho my drinking nearly killed me....but I read a lot and posted a lot and I became convinced that abstinence was something I needed to try...
12 years on and I'm still glad I did
D
I was ambivalent about quitting when I got here - even tho my drinking nearly killed me....but I read a lot and posted a lot and I became convinced that abstinence was something I needed to try...
12 years on and I'm still glad I did
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
I see people in line at the gas station with a 12 pack and I think "that would just get me started" - usually 18 or more a day. Don't despair, you can do it. I was really bad at one point, but I am much better now. No alcohol in over 13 months. One day at a time, and find something else to do besides drinking beer. I find walking helpful. Best wishes in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 8
Y'all, I need help. I haven't even read all of the posts above because they would make no sense to me right now as I've had 8-10 drinks tonight. I have 8-10 drinks EVERY night. Sometimes more. I have a full time job that I excel at. I have a family that I take care of. But I feel like CRAP because every, single, night I drink. Every. Single. morning. I say I won't drink tonight. But every. single. night. I get home and it starts. I don't know why. I'm not depressed. I'm not stressed. It's just habit. Very bad habit, How do I break it??? And don't give me the "just stop" or "just do something else". It doesn't work! I'm a productive member of society who just has this problem in the evening...!!! And it's harming my health, my weight, my sense of well being.. Oh, and most nights I come home from work and walk 4 miles, then start drinking while I'm fixing dinner. So it's not like I come home and start drinking immediately...I try to be healthy first! LOL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 534
HarvW- Day drinking is a seriously bad sign. I'm glad you are here and think of something else to do this weekend, rather than stopping at store on Friday for beer. Maybe a road trip with wife?
Ilovedogs--Replace a drink with a drink is what helped me tremendously at first with the "habit" of drinking alcohol. Keep a glass of something good close by.
I enjoyed the ritual of making a martini, shaking it and pouring into a beautiful martini glass. 7 martinis later, I was skipping the shaker and drinker warm vodka.
Or a gin and tonic, with limes cut into perfect wedges. After 10 of those, I was drinking warm gin, no tonic and who needs limes?
So, after re-hab, I started making myself delicious drinks---fresh juice and tonic water, using a nice crystal glass, and keeping it by me while I cooked or watched TV. It REALLY helped with the HABIT of reaching for a drink.
Maybe that will help you?
Ilovedogs--Replace a drink with a drink is what helped me tremendously at first with the "habit" of drinking alcohol. Keep a glass of something good close by.
I enjoyed the ritual of making a martini, shaking it and pouring into a beautiful martini glass. 7 martinis later, I was skipping the shaker and drinker warm vodka.
Or a gin and tonic, with limes cut into perfect wedges. After 10 of those, I was drinking warm gin, no tonic and who needs limes?
So, after re-hab, I started making myself delicious drinks---fresh juice and tonic water, using a nice crystal glass, and keeping it by me while I cooked or watched TV. It REALLY helped with the HABIT of reaching for a drink.
Maybe that will help you?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 534
HarvW- Day drinking is a seriously bad sign. I'm glad you are here and think of something else to do this weekend, rather than stopping at store on Friday for beer. Maybe a road trip with wife?
Ilovedogs--Replace a drink with a drink is what helped me tremendously at first with the "habit" of drinking alcohol. Keep a glass of something good close by.
I enjoyed the ritual of making a martini, shaking it and pouring into a beautiful martini glass. 7 martinis later, I was skipping the shaker and drinker warm vodka.
Or a gin and tonic, with limes cut into perfect wedges. After 10 of those, I was drinking warm gin, no tonic and who needs limes?
So, after re-hab, I started making myself delicious drinks---fresh juice and tonic water, using a nice crystal glass, and keeping it by me while I cooked or watched TV. It REALLY helped with the HABIT of reaching for a drink.
Maybe that will help you?
Ilovedogs--Replace a drink with a drink is what helped me tremendously at first with the "habit" of drinking alcohol. Keep a glass of something good close by.
I enjoyed the ritual of making a martini, shaking it and pouring into a beautiful martini glass. 7 martinis later, I was skipping the shaker and drinker warm vodka.
Or a gin and tonic, with limes cut into perfect wedges. After 10 of those, I was drinking warm gin, no tonic and who needs limes?
So, after re-hab, I started making myself delicious drinks---fresh juice and tonic water, using a nice crystal glass, and keeping it by me while I cooked or watched TV. It REALLY helped with the HABIT of reaching for a drink.
Maybe that will help you?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
I just think I’m finally seeing it’s going to catch up to me
Oh yeah, no doubt about it, your alcohol consumption is going to catch up with you big time, and teach you that you are not immortal.
You've been drinking with your wife for 25 years, so I'm assuming you are in your mid to late 40's. You've reached the age where the amount of alcohol you need to consume to feel good has increased, and at the same time your body's ability to deal with the amount of alcohol you've consumed, has decreased. And you can not change either one of those trends. (A previous post mentioned kindling, you should google that).
Alcoholism is progressive, and morning drinking soon gives way to 'round the clock drinking. For help with the physical addiction, seek some medical advice. Be honest with your Doctor and tell him about your drinking.
The second part of getting sober is involves changing your behavior and attitudes. I think that it's harder than getting by the physical addiction. Behaviorally, quitting drinking presents a whole new set of challenges. What helped me with that aspect was AA and spending many hours every week on this website. It's a huge project that involves life changes, but it is so worthwhile.
I've been sober now for many years, and life is so much better. If I can do it, so can you!
Oh yeah, no doubt about it, your alcohol consumption is going to catch up with you big time, and teach you that you are not immortal.
You've been drinking with your wife for 25 years, so I'm assuming you are in your mid to late 40's. You've reached the age where the amount of alcohol you need to consume to feel good has increased, and at the same time your body's ability to deal with the amount of alcohol you've consumed, has decreased. And you can not change either one of those trends. (A previous post mentioned kindling, you should google that).
Alcoholism is progressive, and morning drinking soon gives way to 'round the clock drinking. For help with the physical addiction, seek some medical advice. Be honest with your Doctor and tell him about your drinking.
The second part of getting sober is involves changing your behavior and attitudes. I think that it's harder than getting by the physical addiction. Behaviorally, quitting drinking presents a whole new set of challenges. What helped me with that aspect was AA and spending many hours every week on this website. It's a huge project that involves life changes, but it is so worthwhile.
I've been sober now for many years, and life is so much better. If I can do it, so can you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Originally Posted by ilovedogs3801
Y'all, I need help. I haven't even read all of the posts above because they would make no sense to me right now as I've had 8-10 drinks tonight. I have 8-10 drinks EVERY night. Sometimes more. I have a full time job that I excel at. I have a family that I take care of. But I feel like CRAP because every, single, night I drink. Every. Single. morning. I say I won't drink tonight. But every. single. night. I get home and it starts. I don't know why. I'm not depressed. I'm not stressed. It's just habit. Very bad habit, How do I break it??? And don't give me the "just stop" or "just do something else". It doesn't work! I'm a productive member of society who just has this problem in the evening...!!! And it's harming my health, my weight, my sense of well being.. Oh, and most nights I come home from work and walk 4 miles, then start drinking while I'm fixing dinner. So it's not like I come home and start drinking immediately...I try to be healthy first! LOL
so...what have you tried in the past?
why do you think nothings 'worked'?
what are you prepared to try now?
If it's just a habit you should be able to break it - it should be a little uncomfortable but nothing agonising - nothing so hard that you end up doing exactly what you didn't want to do again and again for months or years.
maybe it time to start thinking of this as less of a habit and more an addiction?
I know - you only drink at night - I started that way too,
It's easy to downplay the seriousness....but you can drown in 6 inches of water just as much as you can in 6 feet, Ilovedogs.
There is a life after drinking, if you want it ilovedogs
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 17
Man, the support and advice here is great. Everyone post/ reply is a little different but I can relate to something in all of them. That’s how I felt at the one and only AA meeting I’ve been to, like over five years ago. It was during my annual “dry January “ phase so I had no problem staying sober after and didn’t feel the need to go back. Of course when spring hit the beer pounding started. And like I said previously, it seems to get worse every year after my 1-2 month sobriety. The day drinking (always Mondays) the last few years has opened my eyes.
I also have a friend that got sober 12 years ago without ever doing AA. He’s the one that sent me to this site.
I gotta figure out what works for me. Unfortunately, my wife (drinking buddy) is my biggest concern. I know that sounds strange and there are probably lots of opinions on it but...
More on that to follow. No time to get into it now.
Thank you again, everyone.
I also have a friend that got sober 12 years ago without ever doing AA. He’s the one that sent me to this site.
I gotta figure out what works for me. Unfortunately, my wife (drinking buddy) is my biggest concern. I know that sounds strange and there are probably lots of opinions on it but...
More on that to follow. No time to get into it now.
Thank you again, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 31
I too needed a “scare” because I went from a drinking problem to a normal drinker for over a year. Now I’m not saying that’s good as this is about sobriety but it was a hell of a lot better than being a drunk.
The MOMENT I started sneaking some cheeky little day beers while I am working from home I was terrified because it has spiraled from there to back to the problem drinking. Basically the day drinking instantly took me from over a year of consuming alcohol in a “normal” way to back to the darkness.
I should have have never went back to drinking at all obviously but boy oh boy understand that seemingly innocent beer with lunch or whatever is a real devil in disguise.
The MOMENT I started sneaking some cheeky little day beers while I am working from home I was terrified because it has spiraled from there to back to the problem drinking. Basically the day drinking instantly took me from over a year of consuming alcohol in a “normal” way to back to the darkness.
I should have have never went back to drinking at all obviously but boy oh boy understand that seemingly innocent beer with lunch or whatever is a real devil in disguise.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Earlier in my quit, say maybe about a week into it, my ex wife and I went to visit the nephew who is a bartender at a local sports bar over lunch.
I notice a lot people drinking beers around the bar with their lunch and one gentleman with whiskeys, casual business clothes and his laptop working.
I eventually asked the nephew about the people drinking and was informed all but one owned their own business and they are all there everyday like clock work. Not judging but I couldn't understand this even tho I was a big drinker.
I notice a lot people drinking beers around the bar with their lunch and one gentleman with whiskeys, casual business clothes and his laptop working.
I eventually asked the nephew about the people drinking and was informed all but one owned their own business and they are all there everyday like clock work. Not judging but I couldn't understand this even tho I was a big drinker.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by C0ntr0ls
Earlier in my quit, say maybe about a week into it, my ex wife and I went to visit the nephew who is a bartender at a local sports bar over lunch.
I notice a lot people drinking beers around the bar with their lunch and one gentleman with whiskeys, casual business clothes and his laptop working.
I eventually asked the nephew about the people drinking and was informed all but one owned their own business and they are all there everyday like clock work. Not judging but I couldn't understand this even tho I was a big drinker.
I notice a lot people drinking beers around the bar with their lunch and one gentleman with whiskeys, casual business clothes and his laptop working.
I eventually asked the nephew about the people drinking and was informed all but one owned their own business and they are all there everyday like clock work. Not judging but I couldn't understand this even tho I was a big drinker.
I speak of this like it’s the past. The last time was only four days ago. This weekend is going to be hard.
I am going to start a new thread about how to handle quitting with my drinking buddy... my wife.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by C0ntr0ls
Harv,
Don't think too far ahead, just think about now/today. I can get myself in knots if I start thinking about drink in the future. This is what has/is working for me now. This may change in the future.
Don't think too far ahead, just think about now/today. I can get myself in knots if I start thinking about drink in the future. This is what has/is working for me now. This may change in the future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Callas
Perhaps do it for your weight then. Surely it would be nice for you to be in good shape.
I am going to work on that as a substitute for drinking I think.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: GRAYSLAKE
Posts: 17
I was emotionally in the same place as you a few years ago. I'd dry out a bit for a couple days and get right back to it for another 4-5 days. Every. Week.
I reached a point where I realized there were only two directions available to me:
1. My life would be ruined, slowly or quickly, it didn't matter
2. I would get help, get sober, and reevaluate life
I was unbelievably fortunate in that I got off the elevator before it hit the bottom. You don't need a disaster to "scare" you, what you need is the complete and utter realization that there are only two directions from here- into disaster or into recovery.
From this point in a drinking career forward, drinking will never be as fun as it used to be. It will become gradually more miserable and bring less joy. You know it as you read it.
The good news is that you're getting help right now, and you did not get this exact help before. That means that your next step doesn't have to be the same step that you used to take, it can be a new step in a different direction. This means that you CAN stop drinking.
You've got the right idea: Just take another step towards the life you want for yourself. You can get there eventually, despite the many times it feels like you're on a treadmill!
I reached a point where I realized there were only two directions available to me:
1. My life would be ruined, slowly or quickly, it didn't matter
2. I would get help, get sober, and reevaluate life
I was unbelievably fortunate in that I got off the elevator before it hit the bottom. You don't need a disaster to "scare" you, what you need is the complete and utter realization that there are only two directions from here- into disaster or into recovery.
From this point in a drinking career forward, drinking will never be as fun as it used to be. It will become gradually more miserable and bring less joy. You know it as you read it.
The good news is that you're getting help right now, and you did not get this exact help before. That means that your next step doesn't have to be the same step that you used to take, it can be a new step in a different direction. This means that you CAN stop drinking.
You've got the right idea: Just take another step towards the life you want for yourself. You can get there eventually, despite the many times it feels like you're on a treadmill!
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