ulfr

i cant seem to stay away from the christian forums that hate lgbt people
Am addicted to them they said can stop my voices and save me
but i need to stop being around LGBT people and be saved i just want the voices to stop not matter what medication i take they will not go away i have been on 6 different meds that dont work at all and they have gave me other to help me but it will not make the voices to go
am going crazy with them...i can no longer cope with them i have told the psych who got me to try another med that's done nothing and i have another appointment with her in September but it seems so far away i cant keep living like this anymore without drinking or taking drugs cutting or od's i can go to the crisis house for a few days but i cant stay there and they will not put me in hosptial because i have my husband who is my carer who isnt meant to have time to him or sleep
i cant do this any longer my husband doesnt get a break at all apart from getting under 4 hours of sleep a night or no sleep sometimes what the **** ? he be better off if i was dead but i am not allowed to kill myself

ThatWasTheOldMe

It's perfectly normal to be LGBT - it's just how your brain is wired. Hang out here.

ThatWasTheOldMe

By the way, bigots that tell you you're a "sinner" or say there's something wrong with you have absolutely no evidence for making that assertion. That's why they're bigots - they hate anyone different.

They're the same people that wanted to injure sit-in protesters during the Civil Rights era. It makes them feel significant by hurting you. They're not significant - they're pos bigots.

Anna

You know it's destructive for you to hang out on the anti-lgbt websites. They have an agenda and it's not to help you.

I'm really sorry that the medications you've tried are not working and your appointment is so far off. Do make use of the crisis center if you need to. They have helped you before and they will help you again.

Verdantia

Hi, Pink Emo. There is nothing sinful about being LGBTQIA. God created us all and loves us for who we are, not who we love. I am a Christian and those who claim to know the will of God in this matter are quite mistaken and harmful, toxic people that you do not need to be interacting with. They do not have your best interests at heart, and their words are cruel lies. Give them up, and stick around here. As you know, there is much love and support in SR compared to those other hateful sites that just bring you down and make you feel even worse. I will be praying that the voices go away, and for your peace and comfort. You are perfect as you are in the sight of Jesus.

Newbeginning421

There are a lot of things in the bible that is considered "sinful" behavior and LGBT falls under that. Eating shellfish and wearing two different types of fabric is also a sin. There will always be people who do not like certain lifestyles and unfortunately the LGBT community has been targets in the past. Who cares what the Bible Thumpers have to say. People can believe whatever they want but why engage such people? You said you are addicted to it. While I do not hear voices I know alcohol and drugs tend to make psych problems worse. I have BPD and i know self harm and suicidality has been a real struggle for me in the past . If you are struggling post here and stay away from the darkside as I have found there are many warm hearted people here that would love to help you.

Newbeginning421

Just read through some of your old post and see you have BPD as well. I think i could really be of help if you want to PM me as I have found things a major thing being DBT that really has helped stabilize me. A little over 90 days ago I felt exactly as you did

DriGuy

You need to be around socially and emotionally healthy people right now, and that's just a start. Resentments are not good for recovering alcoholics.

ulfr

Am going to stay here more than that forum here is better anyway i get more support here than i do there
i am easliy led i do anything people tell me to do its an danger for me to be online at all i am immature and mostly act like a teen rather than a 42 yearold
my minster and husband try to keep me safe but am inpossable sometimes and pain in my own backend ...unsure why i do what i do my voices also tell me what to do i want to people please everyone including the people on the forums and my voices and God i cant please everyone and everything
newbeginning421 i think i will pm you about the DBT Stuff thank you all for supporting me

ScottFromWI

Just a thought pink, but maybe you could have you husband block the website sites that are troubling to you on your computer? That way you wouldn’t be able to access them at all, even if you had the urge to do so.

ulfr

We tried blocking them i end fighting about it so my husband doesnt block the sites anymore

DriGuy

I've never mentioned this, but part of the reason I joined this forum is similar to yours.

First, it's a topic that is of interest to me for obvious reasons, and there are still things I can learn from people like me to benefit my life in sobriety.

Second, I'm drawn to forums as a social media, but I've only got time for one, so I have to pick wisely.

Third, the forum I came from before was a political forum, and as you are drawn to Christian forums, I'm drawn to political forums, but the risk in each is that these two similar issues can be toxic and bitter. They shouldn't be, and they don't need to be, but be that as it may, we can be drawn into them.

I'm not an expert on forums. I've only participated in 3 of them over the years, but I knew enough about myself that toxic and bitter environments are not good for my emotional well being or my serenity or sobriety. Like you I am drawn to them. I get involved in the toxicity, and even more into the total nonsense of extremists, and I am worse off for it. I hated to leave that last forum, but like a bad marriage, I had to wrench myself from it's grip. For what it's worth, I got rid of my cable and television about 6 years ago, because it was an annoying source of toxic noise that became a source of irritation.

This place almost seems like a refuge. It's closely monitored, forbids political discussion because of it's toxic nature, and remains focused on it's primary purpose of helping... ourselves as well as others. It is monitored well so that trolls can't find anything to do here.

One thing I'm not clear about. Maybe I did not read closely enough, but others seem to assume you are LGBT, but from what I read, I can't tell if being LGBT or hating LGBT's is the issue for you. At any rate LGBT has nothing to do with recovery. Alcoholism affects all walks of life, social class, fame, power, and sexual orientation. If you are an alcoholic, you may find what you need here.

Dee74

Not all forums are healthy - I don't think the other forum is healthy for you Pink Emo..

You can always fill in someones backstory by clicking on a persons name and reading past threads

I think identity can have a lot to do with recovery.

It must be hard to be wanting to be a Christian but to also identify sexually as something a particular forum or church has issue with.

Thats the kind of thing that sends people looking for solutions like drink and drugs.

It's not a good solution of course, but I get it.

D

ulfr

Sorry i should explaned that i am a transgender male sometimes i put women in my avatar i'll try not to do that
i just confuse everyone i have changed it now to a guy with pink hair