Hardest day so far
 

I nearly drank today I'm so ashamed to say that after 13 days of fighting,getting healthy,and cleaning up the destruction I cause after I drink I came so close today and now I'm scared for tomorrow...I went to see my mum which is an hours drive away from my home...she drinks and after being there for 5 min's she asked for her usual lift to the shop...I dont see my mum often we can go months with no contact but when I did see her it would revlove around alcohol so today was hard and it was a sunny day the usual triggersI knew I couldn't drink there but decided I couldn't do this anymore and would drink when I got home I've mentioned before that I'm coming upto 40 soon and my av is telling me don't bother just start after my birthday everyday all day it's whispering but last time I drank which is only 13 days ago but somehow feels like a lifetime ago was awful the worst it's ever been I could have lost everything...I realised today I can't deal with my feeling when I vist my mum we have so much underlying things we never dealt with but we also have so much love for each other...anyway ..something happened on the drive home i was driving through beautiful countryside and looked at my gorgeous son sitting next to me and the craving went..I know it will be back tomorrow but for today I won... I need a plan for tomorrow but for today I won so screw you av and here's to another night of decent sleep which is starting to be my favourite thing about sobriety so goodnight everybody sorry for my rambling

Good job of not giving in to that craving! There is nothing to be ashamed of, it's always better to reach out to people in recovery when you are struggling.

I'm glad you didn;t give in Louise. There's no shame in 'nearly drinking', You won :)


My relationship with family is difficult too - I made the decision not to see them too often until I felt stronger in my recovery - when I did see them I made sure I had a 'staying in recovery' plan for before during and after.

When I was getting sober I made a commitment to post here everyday, even if it was a good day and specifically if it was a bad one.

It kept me sober - but I had to have a recovery plan tat had more in it than just SR :)

What else are you doing for recovery apart from posting here? :)

D

Everytime you resist the Av it gets easier. Good for you! Soon sobriety will be the normal and the AV will just be a creepy next door neighbor who you just want to avoid.

You are doing great! Hang in there! :c011:

The part about the craving going away when you were focused on your son sounds like something you can used to your advantage. It's not just a distraction, but something that will serve both of you well for years to come.

Well done for not drinking I have a similar relationship with my mother regarding unresolved issues and it can be heavily triggering. Hopefully the AV won't be as strong as you think tomorrow since you give it a good beating today :)

Boy can I relate to your situation, Louise. My sister just called telling me she's coming to visit next month. We haven't seen each other in 8 years. She's never been a problem drinker to my knowledge but she loves to drink, that's for sure.

Thanks for starting this thread. I will keep an eye on the comments.

I'm curious why you said you couldn't drink at your Mothers? Was it because you told her you are not drinking and you wanted to prove to her that you can do this? I think if she knows you are not drinking she could hold off from drinking during your visits..that would be a nice thing to do.....

Yes, eventually we have to deal with others drinking but so early in your recovery I want others to respect you.

I hate to say this..but you do sound fixated on waiting till after your birthday to stop drinking....and I wish you could reset your mind to think...Wow this would be the first sober birthday in forever.

But...good job making it thru the craving today..and you can only take one day and sometimes one minute at a time....