Newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 4
Newcomer
Hi 
I have been "sober curious" I guess you could say for about the last year or so. I 100% am uncomfortable with the amount I (at this point, used to) drink. I have toyed with sobriety for weeks at a time, and of course I feel unstoppable at those times.
This past month has been my most successful. I have only drank 4 times in the last month, which I have not been able to say for the last 11 years or so. The idea of total sobriety is very appealling to me, but I have learned that I cannot do this alone. I get very lonely and feel isolated in my struggle, especially when all I hear is "you're fine! you're being dramatic! you don't have a problem!" Well, I feel that I do, in that I do NOT like what alcohol does to my mental health and relationships, and I truly cannot stop drinking once I start. I'm not someone who can have "a couple beers" or "a glass or two of wine." It doesn't work, and the truth is, I don't WANT to do that. I'm a drinker who drinks to get drunk, to have fun, to feel confident. And I want to do that without the substance.
It has been VERY challenging and lonely for me. I'm hoping to connect with some new people who are in the same mindset as me.
XOXO, simplyspirited
I have been "sober curious" I guess you could say for about the last year or so. I 100% am uncomfortable with the amount I (at this point, used to) drink. I have toyed with sobriety for weeks at a time, and of course I feel unstoppable at those times.
This past month has been my most successful. I have only drank 4 times in the last month, which I have not been able to say for the last 11 years or so. The idea of total sobriety is very appealling to me, but I have learned that I cannot do this alone. I get very lonely and feel isolated in my struggle, especially when all I hear is "you're fine! you're being dramatic! you don't have a problem!" Well, I feel that I do, in that I do NOT like what alcohol does to my mental health and relationships, and I truly cannot stop drinking once I start. I'm not someone who can have "a couple beers" or "a glass or two of wine." It doesn't work, and the truth is, I don't WANT to do that. I'm a drinker who drinks to get drunk, to have fun, to feel confident. And I want to do that without the substance.
It has been VERY challenging and lonely for me. I'm hoping to connect with some new people who are in the same mindset as me.
XOXO, simplyspirited
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Hey! Welcome to the forum.
It's really cool that you've realized and acknowledged that you have an issue around alcohol. People always say here that if you find that alcohol is causing problems in your life, then you probably have a problem. We don't have to necessarily fit the stereotypical drink all day alkie to want or need to get sober.
If you read around for awhile, you'll see that people talk about sobriety plans or programs that they use to stay sober. Maybe start thinking about what one might look like for you? Many people have to make serious changes in their lives.
I feel like we are similar, in that I never hit a "rock bottom" or had a watershed moment. I drank like you, couldn't stop once I started, drank to get drunk, etc. Then all of a sudden I realized I was drinking insane amounts every single night and needed to stop. Alcoholism is progressive, and if you believe you have a problem, its very smart to start now. I believe that my problem would have escalated if I hadn't decided to get sober.
If you put in the work, you will realize that you can have all of those things (well, except the drunk) without alcohol. Fun, confidence, happiness, and more. And I have found that just drawing the line with people has had the best results. I don't drink. Full stop. Doesn't matter why, doesn't matter how I got to that decision, I just don't drink anymore. They'll either accept it and move on, or they maybe shouldn't be your friend.
Have I sold you?
Anyway, read around, get to know people. There is a weekend thread that starts up every Thursday that provides support over the weekend if you're interested. Cool group of folks.
It's really cool that you've realized and acknowledged that you have an issue around alcohol. People always say here that if you find that alcohol is causing problems in your life, then you probably have a problem. We don't have to necessarily fit the stereotypical drink all day alkie to want or need to get sober.
If you read around for awhile, you'll see that people talk about sobriety plans or programs that they use to stay sober. Maybe start thinking about what one might look like for you? Many people have to make serious changes in their lives.
I feel like we are similar, in that I never hit a "rock bottom" or had a watershed moment. I drank like you, couldn't stop once I started, drank to get drunk, etc. Then all of a sudden I realized I was drinking insane amounts every single night and needed to stop. Alcoholism is progressive, and if you believe you have a problem, its very smart to start now. I believe that my problem would have escalated if I hadn't decided to get sober.
If you put in the work, you will realize that you can have all of those things (well, except the drunk) without alcohol. Fun, confidence, happiness, and more. And I have found that just drawing the line with people has had the best results. I don't drink. Full stop. Doesn't matter why, doesn't matter how I got to that decision, I just don't drink anymore. They'll either accept it and move on, or they maybe shouldn't be your friend.
Have I sold you?
Anyway, read around, get to know people. There is a weekend thread that starts up every Thursday that provides support over the weekend if you're interested. Cool group of folks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Welcome to SR!
I'm here because I'm an alcoholic and can't drink like a normal person meaning have a few and stop. I can't have even one or it would be game on.
Once I start, I'm all in and then blackout. Wake up in the morning and wonder who I called or texted the night before.
My “eventual” thought process for me was if I was asking myself do I have a drinking problem, then I probably do because I'm asking myself about it.
Life is so much better to me without the beer in my life.
I'm here because I'm an alcoholic and can't drink like a normal person meaning have a few and stop. I can't have even one or it would be game on.
Once I start, I'm all in and then blackout. Wake up in the morning and wonder who I called or texted the night before.
My “eventual” thought process for me was if I was asking myself do I have a drinking problem, then I probably do because I'm asking myself about it.
Life is so much better to me without the beer in my life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome to the forums.
You sound exactly like me. Alcoholism is not only progressive and chronic, it's also very predictable what it does to the alcoholic.
I can relate to you totally because that was me ten years ago.
I drank to get drunk. I never had a couple of drinks in my life and I never intend to.
It's all or nothing for me.
I hope you can ignore the naysayers and do what's right for yourself.
It took me a long time to quit. I hope you can spare yourself some misery and quit for good. And great going on cutting back, that's a great start.
I hope you stick around here. There's a lot of us who know what you're going through.
Best to you.
You sound exactly like me. Alcoholism is not only progressive and chronic, it's also very predictable what it does to the alcoholic.
I can relate to you totally because that was me ten years ago.
I drank to get drunk. I never had a couple of drinks in my life and I never intend to.
It's all or nothing for me.
I hope you can ignore the naysayers and do what's right for yourself.
It took me a long time to quit. I hope you can spare yourself some misery and quit for good. And great going on cutting back, that's a great start.
I hope you stick around here. There's a lot of us who know what you're going through.
Best to you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
Hi simplyspirited - we're so glad you're here.
I was just like you, too. I drank for decades, always trying to achieve moderation. I couldn't imagine giving it up completely - after all, it had once been manageable and fun. Thinking I had control was an almost fatal mistake. I failed to acknowledge when my social drinking turned into alcoholic dependency. In the end, I was drinking all day - with a life in total chaos. This won't ever have to happen to you. You've taken a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life - and you will make it off the merry-go-round.
I was just like you, too. I drank for decades, always trying to achieve moderation. I couldn't imagine giving it up completely - after all, it had once been manageable and fun. Thinking I had control was an almost fatal mistake. I failed to acknowledge when my social drinking turned into alcoholic dependency. In the end, I was drinking all day - with a life in total chaos. This won't ever have to happen to you. You've taken a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life - and you will make it off the merry-go-round.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Welcome to SR. I, too, had people who undermined my addiction. Like you, I knew what effect alcohol had on me, that I had a problem, and that I needed a solution.
At that moment, I tossed aside everybody else’s thoughts and ideas and took control of my own life and put down the drink. 14 months and still going strong.
You’ve got this. Really glad to see you here!
At that moment, I tossed aside everybody else’s thoughts and ideas and took control of my own life and put down the drink. 14 months and still going strong.
You’ve got this. Really glad to see you here!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
You have many of the symptoms of an alcoholic according to the Alcoholics Anonymous definition in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s a great read available for free online.
If you're an alcoholic and continue to drink and not work a recovery program things will continue to get worse. If you’re an alcoholic and stay sober and work a recovery program things will continue to get better 🙏
If you're an alcoholic and continue to drink and not work a recovery program things will continue to get worse. If you’re an alcoholic and stay sober and work a recovery program things will continue to get better 🙏
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