Day 1 again
 

I’m really suffering today , the guilt is just as bad as the hangover. It’s crippling. I just can’t seem to get it together at the weekend. Week days are fine it’s the boredom and having some drinks makes the chores bearable. Feel hopeless and I just don’t know what to do .....
Thanks in advance for any support.

Hi, Charlie. I know exactly how you feel as i am in the same boat today. Extremely sick and guilt-ridden. I was too sick to go to work so i had to call in. If they find out i was drinking and thats why i missed work i will be fired. They know i have a drinking problem. I dont know about you, but i find myself questioning whether or not im an alcoholic when im sober. Then i drink and i know without a doubt i am. I hope you feel better soon. I hope i do too. Hopefully we will feel better tomorrow and can start taking our sobriety as seriously as it is.

I’m sorry to hear that Katlyne. Yes ! I have conversations in my own head about how I’m not as bad as others or I don’t drink in the morning etc delusional trying to rationalize m actions. I hope you feel better soon . I’m trying to eat something and sip water , I’m so sooo dehydrated. Thank you and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day . I hope work goes well for you!

Thank you, Charlie! I am about to heat up some soup. Im dehydrated also. Hopefully, i will be able to hold it down. If i could manage to sleep a bit more i think it would help...but i feel too miserable to even do that. I think its the anxiety as well.

Glad you found your way back. Many don't.

This isn't your first go at this, and you've made similar posts to SR and have gotten plenty of advice. So, I am guessing you do have an idea what to do.

Are you truly ready to implement those changes in your life? Are you really so sick of the cycle of day one, sober a while, then drinking, only to feel hopeless again that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober?

It starts with commitment. The commitment to never drink again. Then it takes action. Doing whatever it takes to see your decision to quit to success.

Yes more than likely, I never had such bad anxiety. That panic over nothing starts in my stomach. Just keep telling myself it will pass and after a good nights sleep things should be better . I can’t do this again and again and the thing is I know I have it in me to do this ! So infuriating .
Soup is good , do you have any electrolyte drinks? They will help . I’ll check back with you tomorrow katlyne. Sending good wishes!

Yes DGC!
This is definitely not my first rodeo. It’s time to get serious. I’m so tired of this it’s not funny. I get confidence and stop checking in here and then try to moderate.

This isn't my first rodeo either. I have used the very same words. I get serious for a few months, then off the wagon I go.

But I know in the back of my mind and in my stomach that the end (of my drinking career) is over and done with and I am willing to commit to a life free of alcohol. I hope you too.

Sorry your feeling like crud. Not to sound bogus but you know all this is self inflicted. I get it. Boy did I ever. That being said. Something had to give I couldnt be going on that vicious cycle over and over. Stuff got old. And I'm like when is going to end... Said a little prayer and then boom . it started. Things were in motion. But had to go thru the butt whipping withdrawals they sucked big time. But the only thru it is to stop boozing period. And prepare yourself. Water. Rest. Light food. Soups and stuff. Repeat. Hang around here. If you not the AA type like me. Read. Listen to audio aa speakers on you tube. Really cool stuff. Just hang in there. You have victory in you . I know you do. Keep coming back

I’m glad you’re back Charli. What have you tried in the past? It took me a while to finally get sobriety right. I tested the moderation theory more times than I care to count with the same result, it doesn’t work.

I found that looking at recovery as making positive changes to my physical and mental health was really helpful. The most important thing I did was take drinking off the table no matter what. I found other coping mechanisms for difficult times, or to just de stress: walking out in nature helps me clear my head, mindfulness activities have helped me stay grounded in the present moment, this was a big one for me, I used to feel guilty about the past, and stress about the future, neither of these things were helpful. The only thing I have control over is the present moment, so I focused on making positive choices in the moment, and then did that again and again. Gratitude and posting in SR are also huge parts of my recovery.

You can do this, spend some time thinking about how.

Glad you guys both made it back - this can be your last awful day one! Hope you stick with us.

I'm glad you made it back Charli - welcome back :)

D

Seriously, this weekend....do not do chores...I know this feeling....If you have to recover...doing chores is something that is a trigger for you...put them off...or pay someone (family member or friend) to do the dishes or straighten up the house....Or just don't do IT.

Just rest this weekend...and drink fluids and eat if you can.....

Last time I was recovering....my house was a **** hole...and I did not care because I was half dead...no one cleaned it for me....

It took about 2 weeks of sobriety for me to be able to start to catch everything up...laundry, dishes, changing sheets...picking stuff up off floor, washing floors, toilets, sinks.....tub...yard, garbage...and it took about 1 week to get all that straight....

But I am sober now 41 days...I do a little at a time every morning or night when I have time..and life is so much better.

I really think you have to change your "chore" routine...because that is setting you off when you really don't want to drink.