Misssy2

It feels amazing to be able to say YES to something I want to do.

I don't have to worry that I will be feeling like sh*t that day or even worse being on my deathbead from recovering from alcohol on that day.

I have always loved the zoo since I was little....We are lucky that as I was growing up we had 2 in close proximity....One is shut down and they moved my favorite elephant "Fanny" across the planet.

I have been saying for a week I want to go to the zoo...and I looked up the prices and they are OUTRAGEOUS...BUT???? I would buy a 12 pack if it costs 17.95 if I was drinking. I easily spent 35 a day on liquor and cigarettes.

But I had no one to go to the zoo with...I take care of my Dad...I thought of going alone but I need a "push" for everything.

I was talking about how expensive the F-ing ZOO is....to my 30 year old son who lives with me....we have been building a relationship since he has been back here living with me because he had seizures.

I FORGOT he was my kid that ALSO even when 15 wanted to go to the zoo.

So he says....I will go to the zoo...Want to go right now? I will pay???

I couldn't go because it is "Take it Easy" at this point with Caregiving for my Dad DAILY...

But I immediately SAID...Next week after church?!!! And he said Yea..thats great!

We are both very excited I think...and he is not a Mamas boy....we argue ALOT....but this is one thing in common and I can say YES...because I am not drinking and I KNOW I will NOT BE DRINKING...

Its a really amazing feeling to be able to plan ahead...instead of sitting in dread when I tell someone I will do something and I end up drunk instead or hungover.

I'm sure he is wondering If I will really go..its only been 40 days.

SoberRican

Good for you. The way I see it also is when we were in our lunacy. We wouldnt hesitate to go get our booze and smokes. Then feel kind of bad we didbt go to zoo or whatever. But then say oh well I got my booze and smokes I'm good. That would of been me 92 days ago. Shoot this weekend I spent over 300 bucks on gifts and food .something to show for ....and enjoy. And I have no qualms about it. Screw that pay for something thats gonna kick ya in the hiney later.....no thanks. And with that I'll keep coming back

PhoenixJ

When some say it- they make it sound like a cliché, yet 'one day at a time' is important to me to follow. Arguably giving up booze was relatively easy compared to the crap in my head- all the 'what if's', the tendency to catastrophise, to expect failure because of my terrible past. With mindfulness being the 'in' thing, it is what I remind myself lots of times every day...today is what I have. I try to learn from the past, not live there, plan for the future- but do not wait for it- and do what I can do today. So even though you say it has 'only' been 40 days, what a miracle that is....most memories I have has the subtext ' and that was with alcohol'. I think you are doing great. The zoo trip is important for a lot of reasons, we only grow when we move out of our comfort zone, and you are planning new things.. the only way to make new memories.

Support to you.

brighterday1234

instant

It’s incredible how special things can be.