nez

Nothing is free, even alcoholism comes with a price. Each individual alcoholic gets to determine the price of their alcoholism. Sorting clothes and teaching religious lessons are part of sobriety lesson 101. Learning to do things that you don't want to do, which is how life operates at times.

When I first started trying to be sober, I didn't really want to give up drinking alcohol. I just wanted to stop all the crap that was happening in my life. Guess what, in order to stop the crap, I had to give up drinking alcohol, which I didn't want to do. Sobriety lesson 101.

The first time I went cold turkey, I had a seizure from acute alcohol withdrawal. Got an ambulance ride to ER, IVs in the arms, etc. I didn't want it. I couldn't afford it, etc. Sobriety lesson 101

I went to rehab. (paid for by grants available to county mental health). For the first 72 hours at rehab I was not allowed to go outside the house except for the patio out back. If I set foot off of the patio, I would be kicked out of the program. I thought it was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Taking walks was my therapy for when the anxiety of trying not to drink got to be too much for me to handle. How could they take that away from me? I thought they were supposed to help me! They were. They were teaching me sobriety lesson 101.

I am an alcoholic. I want what I want. WTF do I know anyway. Years of getting what I wanted qualified me to post on this forum as an alcoholic. In recovery I have learned it is far more important to get what I need, whether I think I want it or not.

Delilah1

I know insurance can be frustrating, but if you don’t have any insurance or the means to pay you can fill out Medicaid right in the ER. If you are worried about physical withdrawals and seizures I think the safest place for you is the Ear. They cannot refuse you treatment, and if you end up with a bill you can work with Medicaid, or pay them little amounts whenever you can.

The help is there if you truly want to stop, if you aren’t ready it is very easy to come up with reasons why you continue to drink.

The Salvation Army really is a good issue, and if you do some folding while there I think that would be a nice way to give back.

I hope you find the inner strength to commit to sobriety, it is worth it, you are worth it.

Misssy2

Pedilyte….makes me feel better faster.

Dee74

Please refrain from medical advice guys.

If the OP is not interested in seeing a Dr that's his call however much some of us may disagree with that call - but it's not our job to play doctor instead - that's against our rules.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...al-advice.html

The responsible advice for anyone scared of having a seizure is see your Dr and that applies no matter what country you're from.

Dee
Moderator
SR

WinterCamper

As bad as things are now TWTOM, they will only get worse. There is no quick end through drinking if you get hopeless enough and frustrated enough. It is a slow, gruesome, painful and lowly death. That is all that awaits you if you don't get medical care. It won't be cinematic and the closing music won't play.

An ER doesn't care at all if you have money to pay. They won't even ask and the people who work there don't even want to know. They will help you. They have to but they also want to. Go get detoxed by medical pros and then we can figure the rest of it out together here on SR.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Yeah it has more electrolytes - so it's psuedo-food to an adult. It's food food to a toddler that's sick and needs fluids.

MantaLady

Just wanted to comment on your OP in that you listed a load of countries that have a solution which doesn’t include insurance or money. I live in the U.K. and I can tell you you are kidding yourself if you believe the NHS system we have helps alcoholics. There is no money for addiction, waiting lists for rehabs are years and years long, waiting lists for seeing an addiction counsellor or therapist are also years and years long. Also the criteria for getting help means you almost need to be on deaths door before any help will be offered at all, and even if your offered it whilst you have gotten to the worst place alcohol could take you you’ll still go on a years long waiting list.

The biggest lesson I have learned in sobriety is that when I am looking for the solution all I need to do is look in the mirror. I am both the cause and solution to what pains me. I can chose to drink or not drink, I can choose how I let the world affect me, I can choose to be positive or negative, I can chose to follow a program of recovery or not to, I can choose to ask for help / go to meetings or not to, I can chose to accept help / advice where it is offered from whatever source or I can or refuse it and push it away, I can choose to save myself as no-one is coming to save me.

Addicts have a problem for every solution l, I know I did and it kept me trapped for years. When your ready to see the light you will. I wish you all the best xx

kk1k5x

This is gold, TWTOM.

I needed to echo this, because you seem to be only looking for ways how things cannot be done. Whilst that's well and good for quippy scientists of yesteryears to say, it's absolutely useless and detrimental for someone in search of a way out of addiction.

I did the same thing for years. Trying to get rid of the consequences of drinking without getting rid of the drinking. What you are currently doing is standing in one spot and lamenting the lack of teleportation devices - instead of taking the bus, train, or whatever other mode of transportation available. This specific 'teleportation tantrum' shows that while you talk about wanting to go from A to B, you silently add a 'terms and conditions apply' clause in between the lines. That's why the 10+ people offering you train and bus tickets get sent away, because no one is offering you their teleportation device. Then you pout and google some more information about what's going to happen when, instead of taking action, you opt to rather deal with the totally avoidable consequences.

Look, I know it's freaking difficult. The amount of 'moderation research' I did for years is my personal testament to it. Whatever trick or scam I tried never worked. I always ended up depressed, feeling worthless and with yet another truck load of new problems caused by drinking. Cerebral just DOESN'T WORK in the beginning. Don't take it from me, as I'm in very early sobriety, but trust the people here who have years of sobriety under their belt. None of them 'thought themselves sober and happy', they acted and slowly-slowly MADE themselves sober and eventually happy. Or at least (a lot) happier than they were whilst drinking, if absolutes don't float your boat.

Maybe there are lamps you can rub Aladdin-style and your issues will be solved. I highly doubt that though, so ... stop waiting for teleportation, take 'the bus passes' people are offering to you and just start moving towards point B. Your own posts show what a ******** point A is.

I wish you strength

August252015

My $0.02 for the stage you are: go to the ER and screw the bills. It's not ideal, but once I got sober and got a (low paying) job I began to make and stick to (very small) payment plans.

To echo others, what do you want us to say? You have to quit. Whatever the consequences. If you want to live, that is.

FreshStartOk

Yes unfortunately it's not great in the UK anymore. I managed to get two day detox in hospital, but that's not possible in many places. They're slowly dismantling the NHS so service is not going to get better (hope that's not medical advice? Feel free to delete if it is.)

dpac414

biminiblue

"teleportation tantrum" - kk what a great turn of phrase.

TWTOM,

Do or do not.

Happiness awaits. Or you can keep doing what you're doing. Sounds awful, though.

BackandScared

Many posts here are invaluable, at least for me. Not sure it works for you TWOM. You seem very smart. I have read some of your posts and you also know a lot about alcohol, probably more than most.

Here is the trick. We are all smart; what differentiates us is our different fields of ignorance. We are ignorant of different things. Your rational/ information equipped approach to alcohol consumption is not making it for you. It does it for many. Some people read the Allen Carr book on quitting smoking, realise nicotine does nothing good for them and start a nicotine free life feeling great from day zero.

Others (me included) read the book and thought: no **** Sherlock. I know all this. I know there is nothing good smoking is bringing into my life. I bought the book because I already know. I have stopped smoking several times; I always get back to it. I am now taking Champix, expecting the 'miracle' to happen. If I cannot make it, I will go for something else, but options are narrowing down fast.

You know you want to stop and you know a lot about what is not working. You either try it again changing your view about it, or you have to keep trying something else. At least it gives you hope.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Well I'm not drinking now. But theres really no reason to be awake anymore - or to exist for that matter.

least

There is a reason for you to exist, you just can't see it right now.

Newbeginning421

Serious Idea why not try staying sober for a year commit to a year and try to fix the things in your life. Just make a one year commitment if things are not better in a year go back to drinking and do whatever you please. Just give recovery a real shot. If you prefer the boozing life can always go back to it, it will always be there

ThatWasTheOldMe

The way I see it, I have two choices.

1. Go back to drinking and be happy when I'm drunk.
2. Stay sober and have constant suicidal / "you're a no good worthless loser" thoughts.

I've tried getting help for depression. I got more help separating money from my wallet.

I've tried just staying sober - even at 13 months I couldn't handle it. I have no friends, no family, hate my job, I'm broke because of suffocating debt.

least

You have us! We may be cyber friends, but we're real people who really care about you and your well being.

BackandScared

I hope you get better. Hard to see how you can have any hope of making a depressant you fully know, help you in your quest for happiness. However, despite the depression you are suffering and explains your dark outlook regarding the future, your AV is still stronger than your depression. It still tells you that you can be a happy drunk by continuing with your treatment of large doses of depressants.

It is very difficult to help someone with depression. It is a horrible beast, but perhaps you could try again. I wish you lluck.

Newbeginning421

Was your life better at 13 months? Or is it better when you are drinking. It is your life and up to you but no way things will get better if you continue to drink.