Pinky1

Just curious....................
Has anyone had a mother who became an alcoholic when they were in their late teens and they said awful things to her because of her alcoholism? Then she got sober but they went onto being an alcoholic themselves. Have they regretted the nasty things they have said to her?

entropy1964

Are you saying that has my alcoholic parent apologized to me for their behavior?

Pinky1

Yes I am but also as an alcoholic now have you regretted the things you said to her? If that makes sense

doggonecarl

I think regret is a normal human reaction. However, if you are being debilitated by feelings of guilt and blame, then that's not normal.

Whatever you said happened a long time ago if you are talking about your teen years, Pinky. I doubt there is a single one of us who hasn't done something as a teenager we now regret. But it doesn't help dwelling on the past.

entropy1964

Hmmm. So in other words it sounds like you are saying you have empathy for where she was at that time, now that you are an alcoholic as well.

If she is open to it, maybe a conversation where you can openly talk about what happened for you as a child when she was drinking. That you now understand better where she was and regret some of the stuff you said. However, sounds like you were young, probably angry, so I wouldn't stress about that too much. And if she hasn't owned her behavior toward you, maybe just letting go of the past is best.

But if something is eating at you, get it off your chest. What harm can it do?

Numblady

That sounds tough but to look on the positive side it sounds like your own alcoholism has given you a different perspective. I’m guessing the best way to mend fences if any need mending is to work on your own sobriety and see what follows. Sending you loads of support.