Same same same
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Same same same
Same same again. Day three feel so grumpy fed up. I know how it goes, how I feel day one, two, three etc. So fed up why do I do it. Really irritable not wanting a drink just full of anger and hate my life etc. Want to crawl into a cave and stay there for a week. All because I don’t ever learn. So fed up picking arguments etc. The lovely cycle of alcoholism. Well no more I’m not giving up on recovery I will not let this be my life. Sorry just venting just fed up to my back teeth with it all. Then few weeks will pass and I will have forgotten this and my emotions will be more settled then that’s when it creeps in again. This is acctually boring now and so predictable agggggghhhhhh I’m in bad mood today
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by eve123 
Same same again. Day three feel so grumpy fed up. I know how it goes, how I feel day one, two, three etc. So fed up why do I do it. Really irritable not wanting a drink just full of anger and hate my life etc. Want to crawl into a cave and stay there for a week. All because I don’t ever learn. So fed up picking arguments etc. The lovely cycle of alcoholism. Well no more I’m not giving up on recovery I will not let this be my life. Sorry just venting just fed up to my back teeth with it all. Then few weeks will pass and I will have forgotten this and my emotions will be more settled then that’s when it creeps in again. This is acctually boring now and so predictable agggggghhhhhh I’m in bad mood today
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
So, my suggestion would be to add something to your plan for those early few weeks so that you don't drink again. Maybe you could come up with something new/different to add to your days that would help to keep you sober and strong. 
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I wasn't born a drunk. I learned it from my life experiences.
My new life experiences have taught me that drinking has hurt me horribly.
I learned here that the only way out is to suffer. I can do fun things etc. But I carry a burden of addiction for the rest of my life.
It will always be there. I have gotten used to all of my issues, but the whole time getting drunk insidiously looms.
I distract myself, get caffeine, adrenaline etc. But it looms.
I call it growing up.
Me and my wife used to right now and then when I was a drunk. We still fight now. She doesn't give a hoot that I quit drinking at this point.
The shine has worn off.
Waking up sober for the rest of my life is a proud good thing.
When I started here I struggled sometimes from moment to moment every day.
Those days are proudly gone forever.
I am a born again non drinker.
Suffering was my only way out.
Thanks.
My new life experiences have taught me that drinking has hurt me horribly.
I learned here that the only way out is to suffer. I can do fun things etc. But I carry a burden of addiction for the rest of my life.
It will always be there. I have gotten used to all of my issues, but the whole time getting drunk insidiously looms.
I distract myself, get caffeine, adrenaline etc. But it looms.
I call it growing up.
Me and my wife used to right now and then when I was a drunk. We still fight now. She doesn't give a hoot that I quit drinking at this point.
The shine has worn off.
Waking up sober for the rest of my life is a proud good thing.
When I started here I struggled sometimes from moment to moment every day.
Those days are proudly gone forever.
I am a born again non drinker.
Suffering was my only way out.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Hey face it us boozers are hard headed. I know I was. Then one day after a binge . I wholeheartedly pleaded with my higher power to help me . I surrendered. Then it happened . but just like all else say we had to go thru the motions with his strength of course. The withdrawal etc. That was 85 days ago. And for that I am forever grateful. You can have What I have I will gladly share . you got to give it away in order to keep it. And with that I'll keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
The nature of addiction is that all of the previous consequences are forgotten once the person starts to return to physical health. It talks about this brilliantly in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Without working a solid recovery program which is initiating personal/spiritual growth, change and regular contact with other alcoholics in recovery we are without defence against the first drink in my experience e.g. the time arises where the previous negative experiences, however terrible, are simply completely forgotten and you pick up again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
My belief is that abstinence based on consequences is not sustainable in the long term.
"My wife is getting fed up with my BS, she is going to take the kids and leave if I don't stop."
"My boss has already given me a few warnings that my job performance is slipping, I have to stop drinking now for real."
"That last withdrawal was nearly fatal, if I put myself through this again I'm going to die."
That last one was me in the earliest days of sobriety. But I knew that even if I managed to string together months or years of abstinence that those memories would be fleeting. That leaves the door open for the pesky AV to start whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Trying to convince you that it wasn't so bad. You've got it under control now.
I used fear of consequences only in the beginning and made it one of my earliest goals to learn sobriety. I needed to learn and I needed to learn QUICK. Today my mindset isn't based on fear of consequences. Now I remind myself that I am a good if imperfect person worthy of loving myself and respecting myself. Booze has no more business in my life anymore.
"My wife is getting fed up with my BS, she is going to take the kids and leave if I don't stop."
"My boss has already given me a few warnings that my job performance is slipping, I have to stop drinking now for real."
"That last withdrawal was nearly fatal, if I put myself through this again I'm going to die."
That last one was me in the earliest days of sobriety. But I knew that even if I managed to string together months or years of abstinence that those memories would be fleeting. That leaves the door open for the pesky AV to start whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Trying to convince you that it wasn't so bad. You've got it under control now.
I used fear of consequences only in the beginning and made it one of my earliest goals to learn sobriety. I needed to learn and I needed to learn QUICK. Today my mindset isn't based on fear of consequences. Now I remind myself that I am a good if imperfect person worthy of loving myself and respecting myself. Booze has no more business in my life anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it's not about relying on remembering how BAD it was, it is about committing to not drinking at all again ever. not today, nor tomorrow, nor 5 months from now. not for weddings, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, or getting fired. not for any reason, or excuse, or feeling, or event. not an option.
Not.An.Option.
full surrender and acceptance. we kick off the shackles and start walking towards a life of freedom from obsession and addiction.
Not.An.Option.
full surrender and acceptance. we kick off the shackles and start walking towards a life of freedom from obsession and addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 21
Hang in there... we’ve all experienced good days, and bad ones. On those bad days it is *hard* not to focus on the bad. That’s a downward spiral for sure. There are good days ahead! Know that and know you’ll get there.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thank you everybody. I am truly fed up of this cycle now. But I know I need to take big action. I know that bad cravings will come and that my emotions are going to be difficult for weeks now and although I’m able to stay sober for weeks months at a time I then slip up and it’s always the same. I’m getting ready to do this I have honestly had enough now. This is not how I want my life to be. Will stick close to SR. I just want with all my heart to grow and recover I’m done this time. Thabks folks your all ace
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