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Relapsed badly

Old 07-27-2019, 08:21 AM
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So, there is an explanation for this. Primates evolved where eating fruit was a valid form of nourishment. But sometimes the fruit was fermenting a bit - so over time, a portion of those evolving primate populations developed a taste for the fermenting fruit.

That's why alcoholism exists - at least it's a strong hypothesis. Subconsciously, your brain begs for alcohol so your body can be nourished - but it's just an evolutionary remnant. In reality, alcohol kills your cells - the only reason you can metabolize it is because primates have the appropriate enzyme in their liver.

Alcohol literally kills any cell it touches. It's like ingesting paint thinner - except your liver can take care of it.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:21 AM
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Riding it out but there have been times today where I would have welcomed death. I have been there before but every time it is a different experience in terms of symptoms.

The worst is my skin crawling, it is like a pins and needles sensation. Even in my face.

I am feeling a little afraid.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:32 AM
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Can you hold down water? Are you worried about seizures? Do you need to call 911?
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:37 AM
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I have no experience with your symptoms. Mine were limited to very high blood pressure and crazy heart rate. I was scared as hell too (which could not help neither the blood pressure nor the heart rate).

I am sure others will come with more insight than me, but I would try to make it to an emergency department. It will also guarantee you are not alone in case things go wrong. At worst you are sent back home after being in a safe space for a few hours. Keep posting.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:37 AM
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Stay with us StrugglingTo. A few more hours and the worst of it will have passed. Make it to the night. You won't sleep a wink but you will be back on your journey and you will be able to think. Keep posting here.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted by soupcon View Post
Can you hold down water? Are you worried about seizures? Do you need to call 911?
No, water stays down for up to 30 minutes, then nausea appears out of nowhere and I vomit.

I'm terrified of a seizure. I don't know if I need medical care or not. I went cold turkey once and it was reasonably easy. By day three I was feeling more or less okay. But on that third day I had a seizure and the pain I felt after it was excruciating.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:47 AM
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Please get an ambulance and get to an ER Now! You need professional attention. I have been in your shoes with the exact same symptoms. Please don't take a chance. You need to safely detox. Then we will help you to stay sober.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:48 AM
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StrugglingTo it sounds like you might need some medically supervised detox help. Is that an option for you?
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:50 AM
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What is stopping you from seeking medical help strugglingto? You will be in a safer space. You will calmer. That's already better. If you wait too long you might not be able to ask for the help you might need.
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Old 07-27-2019, 10:01 AM
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I am worried about the very strong possibility of more seizures. You need medication. Can you call somebody, anybody to get help now before you are too weak

to do so?
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Old 07-27-2019, 11:26 AM
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What is going on now?
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Old 07-27-2019, 11:36 AM
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Hope you are hanging on StrugglingTo. Keep hanging on.
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Old 07-27-2019, 12:26 PM
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Same thing happened to me. I was in the class of June, got to 31days then decided 2 bottles of wine was a night 'off'- about 9days later and I was back here.....at day 1.

Like everyone - I didn't know why I did it. I was feeling so much better mentally and physically. Then I started drinking again and everyday I drank, I felt even worse. It was also most like I knew it was making me feel crap, but didn't care. Everyday I drank, I also had the runs. Why did I put myself through this?!?

So I came back to SR. And now sober a week. I honestly think if I think about touching alcohol again, I will remember 9days of the runs and believe me, recovering from that wasn't quick or easy. Being in work and having that sort of pain and being uncomfortable just made me constantly ask myself "why do this ever again?!?"
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Old 07-27-2019, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by WeThinkNot View Post

Control is an illusion for alcoholics. "I thought I was doing well" is an example of how cunning, baffling, and powerful this affliction is.

I learned my lesson the hard way and now I know that I can never have a sip of alcohol for the rest of my life. Perhaps you can learn from this episode as well.
You speak some real wisdom, WTN.

Very well said.
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Old 07-27-2019, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by soupcon View Post
What is going on now?
I managed to drink some fruit juice and keep it down. Still sweating but feel a little better. Far from okay but less sick
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Old 07-27-2019, 01:58 PM
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This is a very good sign. I am so glad the juice has stayed down.
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Old 07-27-2019, 02:00 PM
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That is such good news. So glad you feel a bit better, Strugglingto. Now if you can just get completely better and also remind yourself that a month without alcohol is a great achievement, you might be able to allow yourself a little optimism in your life. Sounds like you've just been to hell and back but you don't ever need to go there again. Remind yourself: you did a month. With the help of SR you can do that, and more, again. When I joined SR 5 weeks ago - after a countless number of false starts - I vowed to post everyday even if I didn't have much to say. And although I didn't really believe it would, it's made the difference for me. Truly hope you'll make the same vow.
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Old 07-27-2019, 04:04 PM
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Hang in there, friend.
I know the symptoms you describe all too well. Especially the hot then cold part. I would freeze and overheat multiple times a night.
If at all possible, stock up on some sports drinks (for the electrolytes) or mineral water. After all the vomitting and detoxing your body is beat and needs its stuff replenished.
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Old 07-27-2019, 04:08 PM
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A sober month gave you the experience of what life can be like sober.

What's your plan to get back to that point?
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Old 07-28-2019, 01:37 AM
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Please keep us updated. Is today day 2 or day 3? How are you feeling?
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