Broken
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Broken
I went nearly 2 months and I drank last night i have no idea how I'm going to beat this I just don't want to have to live with this anymore I feel so ashamed and I 100% lost my partner last night I was abusive I'm such a bad person I just don't want to be here anymore
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
The key thing for me was realising and accepting to my core that I’ll never “beat this”. It’s a battle that can only be won by total and utter surrender in my experience. Total and utter acceptance of my alcoholism was/is fundamental to my recovery and once I surrendered to my powerlessness I began to take back power little by little. Though this power is very much acceptance of my lack of power in the world which is a beautiful
thing.
Recovery is about action and change and putting sobriety above all else in one’s life. See a setback not as a failure but as natures way of showing you that you need to add additional things to your recovery. It was obviously meant to happen as it happened so just learn the lessons from it 🙏
thing.
Recovery is about action and change and putting sobriety above all else in one’s life. See a setback not as a failure but as natures way of showing you that you need to add additional things to your recovery. It was obviously meant to happen as it happened so just learn the lessons from it 🙏
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Hi Louise
you went 2 months - that proves you can do this.
Think of it this way - you're in you're rocket pulling away from Planet Addiction - you've taken off - now you need to achieve escape velocity and escape the planets gravitational pull
What had you been doing for those 2 months? what worked? what can you add to that now to leave Planet Addiction behind forever?
D
you went 2 months - that proves you can do this.
Think of it this way - you're in you're rocket pulling away from Planet Addiction - you've taken off - now you need to achieve escape velocity and escape the planets gravitational pull
What had you been doing for those 2 months? what worked? what can you add to that now to leave Planet Addiction behind forever?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Hi Louise.
I'm not a bad person but the drunk me was a nasty piece of work. That drunk me hasn been around for nearly two years. That's because I 100% got rid of that person by doing a little bit every day to make sure he doesn't show up. You can do the same.
You will be feeling raw today. Every day alcohol free will get you feeling better.
I'm not a bad person but the drunk me was a nasty piece of work. That drunk me hasn been around for nearly two years. That's because I 100% got rid of that person by doing a little bit every day to make sure he doesn't show up. You can do the same.
You will be feeling raw today. Every day alcohol free will get you feeling better.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Louise39 
I have no idea how I'm going to beat this I just don't want to have to live with this anymore
You sound desperate. If you didn't have an answer to my question, perhaps you are desperate enough to try something. Could be as simple as being more active on Sober Recovery. Or perhaps you need personal guidance in the form of a formal substance abuse program. Out patient, in-patient if required.
How do you beat this? By shrugging off the despair and doing whatever it takes to be sober. If you really don't want to live the way you are living, start making the changes to live the way you want to.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
If alcohol didn't make us sick and kick our behinds after making us a bunch of false promises no one would be here.
What are you trying to get relief from?
Detox is a holy terror and if you can get help anywhere for a few days DO IT.
Then you can contemplate your next course of action, be it a program, therapy, whatever.
In my opinion no on should have to go through this alone
What are you trying to get relief from?
Detox is a holy terror and if you can get help anywhere for a few days DO IT.
Then you can contemplate your next course of action, be it a program, therapy, whatever.
In my opinion no on should have to go through this alone
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If you are having trouble doing this on your own there are many people out there who want to help you. Here, at AA meetings, therapy, your family doctor. There is a way out.
Keep reaching out, keep working at it. I know the despair of blowing up a relationship due to drinking, it is hard - but if you stop drinking this won't happen again.
We're here. Keep posting, keep reading.
Keep reaching out, keep working at it. I know the despair of blowing up a relationship due to drinking, it is hard - but if you stop drinking this won't happen again.
We're here. Keep posting, keep reading.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by brighterday1234
The key thing for me was realising and accepting to my core that I’ll never “beat this”. It’s a battle that can only be won by total and utter surrender in my experience. Total and utter acceptance of my alcoholism was/is fundamental to my recovery and once I surrendered to my powerlessness I began to take back power little by little. Though this power is very much acceptance of my lack of power in the world which is a beautiful
thing.
Recovery is about action and change and putting sobriety above all else in one’s life. See a setback not as a failure but as natures way of showing you that you need to add additional things to your recovery. It was obviously meant to happen as it happened so just learn the lessons from it 🙏
thing.
Recovery is about action and change and putting sobriety above all else in one’s life. See a setback not as a failure but as natures way of showing you that you need to add additional things to your recovery. It was obviously meant to happen as it happened so just learn the lessons from it 🙏
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Louise,
I am so sorry that you are in it right now. I also lost my marriage and I was hiding drinking, emotional numb and horrible. But I see now that it was everything aligning for me to reach my bottom and say enough is enough. You have to get through this and come out the other end, a better person. Just focus on you right now, you will NEVER be able to be yourself in a healthy relationship unless you seek help.
Please, remember that you have a family here that will listen. I'm here. I understand and we all do to some extent, what it is like to lose everything. That's where the clarity comes in, and you may not fathom it now, but you will feel grateful for this one day.
Here for you.
I am so sorry that you are in it right now. I also lost my marriage and I was hiding drinking, emotional numb and horrible. But I see now that it was everything aligning for me to reach my bottom and say enough is enough. You have to get through this and come out the other end, a better person. Just focus on you right now, you will NEVER be able to be yourself in a healthy relationship unless you seek help.
Please, remember that you have a family here that will listen. I'm here. I understand and we all do to some extent, what it is like to lose everything. That's where the clarity comes in, and you may not fathom it now, but you will feel grateful for this one day.
Here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Hi everyone I don't know how I got through yesterday but I've been sick and sweated it out all night I don't feel like I have any alcohol in me so I guess Im back on day1 I'm just grateful to be standing here in the rain and as you said dee I did 2 months I know I've got this. ...I learnt from this binge that I can't do this on my own and I actually don't want to anymore I felt like I had a relapse because I thought I cracked it I stopped coming on here everyday I started being around my friends who are drinkers thinking I was cured I've realised today that being sober has to be life now and that I need to actively work at it
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