Right back to drinking... even harder.
 

Right back to where I was. Even more depressed. Even more angry, arrogant and disrespectful to those that love me. I wish God would just take my life already so I can end this cycle.

You are not thinking clearly. Pour out the alcohol, get some rest and things will look better tomorrow. Trust me, everybody here has relapsed. It is not the end, just a bump in the road to sobriety.

Yep, completely agree with this. We've all been there & relapses hurt. What's important - actually, SUPER important - is what you do next. Best wishes & take care

I hope you'll make use of our support to help you get sober for good. :) A sober life is worth the effort it takes to get there. :)

I think that alcohol will always continue to take us further down. I hope you can stop drinking and I know that your perspective will change.

Shame is a vicious cycle. Shame=Pain=Drink=Shame.
None of us are perfect. Forgive yourself. Pick yourself up and start anew. Find something that you value in life and make it a purpose. Maybe go so far as to ask God for help.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS."
God’s grace is power enough because when we swallow our pride, accept our imperfection and give God control, we are empowered with new strength. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Mathew 5:5 That’s the paradox of depending on God: The more you’re weak, the more you depend on him. And the more you depend on God, the stronger you get.

Don't wish for God to take your life...wish for God to take the alcohol away so that you can see clearly that there is a better life available to you....

I found it a month ago....and I'm not going to give it up.

I was like you....I saw no way out the last 6 years...I got sick of being sick.

You sound sick of being sick...please bargin with yourself on a quit date and give it a shot.....Glad you posted.....Sorry you are feeling horrible.

But it is ALL THE ALCOHOL.

Thats the booze talking . put the bottle down. Kick it to the curb. You wont regret it I promise. Keep coming back

Hi,

I am sorry you are going through so much pain. You are not alone.

I work from home and stupidly lost another job-

no income/no funds to pay rent. Lost my cell phone. Drank all my

roommates alcohol and just stayed in my room and drank the pain away.

Not even knowing what day it was. This was last week. I stopped

(alchohol will stop working ) sweated it out. tossed and turned no

sleep insomnia and if I did doze jolted awake with shame and reality.

Heart racing , chest tight- I finally feel human. I have finally took baby

steps to look for a job- that I can fit in recovery to take care of myself.

I really wanted to die this time. But the thing is I still had my life- I am

still here . For some reason I have ONE more chance

for that I am very grateful. I have to do this for myself. Its been 13 years

of fighting this roller coaster. This was utter despair. Every person I

walked by I wanted to be THEM! Not to live in this misery-of being so

weak and full of dread from poisoning myself. I am two days sober now-

I had one beer Sunday- ( just to sleep :( I feel good. A bit depressed

but so much better. I hope you feel better . It'll take you a few days but

you will not be in the despair you are in now- You still have your life!

I can get a new phone/job (hopefully) /maybe even my dignity back . But

I have to be clear headed and sober to deal with the mess. So many

people pick up a drink and die tragically. I did not die- I am blessed. I

need to recover .....There is hope for us that are still breathing and

posting here

:grouphug: