LostinBavaria

Hi everyone out there! So, I'm totally new to this but it was reading your comments, tips and experiences that spurred me on to try and quit for good. Today I threw out my smoking paraphernalia and am on a train to a hotel in the woods, away from weed and regular smoking opportunities for 4days. I've had a relationship with smoking on and off since my teens but in the last few years, it's become more than that, it started taking over. I moved to a new country 7 years ago, had a baby (quit obviously in between), learnt a new language then my mum died - cancer from smoking and alcohol didn't help either . So following lifelong behaviours - I started drinking more often to deal with this, but hated it and how I felt and sourced some weed to stop drinking - it worked out too well. I have been depressed and miserable trying to stop and my husband although a great guy was quite abusive when he was drunk. now my husband and I are separated, he quit the drink and I realised that only I can change this for me and so here I am running away to the woods!
I know it's possibly too early to write but thought I might need a little help from people who understand and some stuff I needed to get off my chest ! Hope I didn't over share . Thanks for reading. J

C0ntr0ls

Welcome Lost!
Take one day at a time.

Misssy2

Wishing you the best in your recovery....Hope to see you again here posting.

SoberRican

Welcome .come here and share anytime . we dont judge . Keep coming back

Dee74

Welcome aboard LostinBavaria

I smoked weed for 30 years and started drinkign in earnest when I stopped buying weed...I'm not the only one here with an extensive pot history either. Feel free to also check out our Marijuana Addiction forum.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ana-addiction/

D

LostinBavaria

Thanks for the support and feedback. I feel right now that I am just distracting myself, constantly so I don't want to smoke. And is that what it means to stop? - a life of deferring and distracting but always the gut feeling that I won't have that warm, fuzzy embrace of a smoke to take any stresses away. Am so weak, I just feel there's something missing without it. How do you get past it?

Pressmetilihurt

I am so grateful for this place. I'm glad you're here.the more the merrier.

Dee74

support helps - and time.

Nothing is better than better a sober life you love and discovering that there;s actually not anything missing without a smoke - in fact you'll find you'll get a few pieces of your life back

It took me a little time to stop thinking in an addictive way - the warm fuzzy embrace kind of thoughts are a lot like Stockholm Syndrome (where you develop warm feelings for your kidnapper, jailer or assailant) to me now.

Your head will clear on that score if you keep away from drinks and drugs - but til then you have to force yourself think past the rosy glow of memories and focus instead on the reasons why you wanted to quit in the first place.

Like I said, support helps - so reach out when you need to

D

NicLin

Welcome and keep posting!

LostinBavaria

Hi all, still coping without my precious smoke. Dee, I do like your analogy of Stockholm syndrome! Very true. I feel I have been battling with myself and my captor for so long. I found a notebook today from 2017/18 where I had written about stopping and how to do it-scary how the years go by... I would like to use the 12 steps so am reading about how to approach it but I live in Germany so naturally sessions would be in German but to express myself properly, I need English. Is it possible to join MA online?

LostinBavaria

Ok, struggling right now with cravings now. Want to run to the bar to grab a drink to cope with no smoke but I know it's not the answer. Damn it, can't stop the tears and getting angry. It's only day 2 -how will I cope when I get back to the daily routines , hiding in a hotel room at the moment. Scared of delving into the reasons behind my addictions.

Dee74

MA has online meetings - most methods do.
http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/find-a-meeting/

Dee74

The first week is rough - no doubt about it - but the second week should be easier.

You might feel that you're not strong enough right now - thats the thought of thing we tell ourselves to smoke again.

You will feel better soon - no doubt about it.

I wouldn't add alcohol to the mix - it's too easy to get another addiction that way.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...hout-weed.html (Reasons Life is Better Without Weed)

D