Why I should/should not drink on this trip:
 

So i have a stressful trip ahead, leaving tomorrow. Lots of relatives with drama, big decisions, etc. They live in a resort town so I’m bringing the family, and we’ll try to work in some time for fun stuff. Basically, triggers everywhere, and I’m worried about handling it.

Why drink (according to my AV):
1. I won’t have to deal with cravings
2. I’ll be more relaxed when I interact with certain people
3. I’ll need to unwind
4. Less anxiety
5. I could go right back to being sober afterward.

Why not drink:
1. I won’t have to deal with hangovers
2. I won’t act stupid/obnoxious/rude/oblivious when I interact with certain people
3. I’ll need to think straight
4. #4 on previous list is a lie. So are #s 1-3. And especially #5. What BS.
5. My kids like me sober
6. I like me sober
7. Early sobriety kind of sucks and I don’t want to start over
8. If I drink, then I won’t make time for fun stuff. It’ll just be stress-drink-stress-drink. Better to have stress-fun-stress-fun.
9. I don’t want to mess up my keto diet. So, vanity.
10. If I do go off my diet, it’ll be for ice cream.
11. I can swim in the ocean to unwind. If I drink, I’ll probably just end up looking at the ocean, too buzzed and stressed out to enjoy it.
12. The stressful stuff might not even be that bad. Unless I drink, then it’ll really suck.
13. I have enough to deal with without throwing shame into the mix
14. I need to be strong and available to people who need me to be present
15. Alcohol sucks
16. At least 100 more reasons

Yeah maybe it’s a “no” on the drinking. I hope I can hold strong. I might be checking in here a bit though.

trust me, it will be 1,000 times EASIER if you ditch the maybe and just commit to NOT drinking, period. a firm commitment is the best way to deal with any cravings as well. nope, not gonna happen, not now, not in ten minutes so Go Away!

i hope you make that choice.

1 - until the next day when the cravings come back again
2 - maybe for a short period, but after you get drunk ( which you will ) you will likely do something you will regret anyway
3 - Lots of ways to unwind besides drinking
4 - Actually your anxiety will be worse the next morning
5 - Not everyone does - and you never know when you'll hit the point of no return,.

So to me it sounds like you actually have 0 reasons to drink?

Hi Bonnie great list !!! Im only at end of day 3 and no you really don't want to be back here, i never want to be back here

You defnitely have convinced yourself. Good going. Hope the trip is fun and enjoy.

I agree with the sentiment that when you accept you wont and cant drink it makes things so much easier. In a situation like that , if you can keep yourself occupied when those first couple of drinks are out, and then you start to see people getting tipsy, it can help remind you that you dont want to go there.

5. I could go right back to being sober afterward.

This jumped out at me in a big way.

When I relapsed I believed that I could/would just drink for short time and get right back to my sober life.

It ended up taking me 22ish years to find my way back.

Sobriety is way too precious to throw away on the off chance that I would be able to control the length of my relapse.

:grouphug:

my switch is definitely broken, too, Bonnie!

My days of testing it are over :)

You've got this :grouphug:

Vacations are so much better sober!

Also if you drink in a sunny, salty place, your hangover will be worse because you’ll be doubly dehydrated.

But the best reason to not drink is because drinking prevents you from actually living, which you’ve illustrated here. So zero reasons to drink, fifteen+ to not!

Have fun!

I believe you can do this Bonnie :)

D

You got this Bonnie....

Maybe try and fit in an early morning walk along the seafront each day before everyone else wakes. Take it in and remember you wouldn’t have done that if you’d drunk the day before.

It’s a beautiful world we live in when we remember to slow down and really look ❤️

I have the world's worst inlaws. Ok I totally do not, but we are not close. When I drank so much worse. Being sober around them, the relationship is 1000x better. They are still a massive pain in my ass, but better.
Be sober, hang out here. :)

Hey Bonnie!
Wishing you extra strength and smiles on your trip. ♡

The undeniable feeling of accomplishment you will have when you return from this trip and had not drank! It will make you stronger.

If you do drink there are so many negatives but the biggest one I saw was your "children" ...letting them down...confusing them on a family vacation when you have done so well ...would be terrible for them...

Stay strong...fight this fight and enjoy your vacation....

Keep posting please - I'm enjoying your journey and your (sober) vacation with you.

Hi Bonnie

the only way to learn to live live to the full, without alcohol, is to do just that.

You'll get some bad times., but a lot of good times too - and we're here for support through both :)

I found I was stronger and more capable than I ever knew - but I needed to stay sober to find that out.

You will too - you don't need alcohol - you don't need to 'take the edge off' that way - think of some healthy alternatives to relax.

D

I grew up in Florida and sunrise on the ocean is gorgeous.

You can make it through this, BF. Just remember the same things we say about drinking parties apply to your current situation.

If it gets to be too much you can always excuse yourself from the conversation and go outside and breathe. There are lots of instances in life where I walk away rather than get worked up.

Have an escape plan. Put pretty pictures on your phone and look at them if stressed. Carry a list stating why you quit.

I have things with me to keep my hands busy. Sometimes it's just a pine cone or a rock or shell, but something to fidget with always helps me.

Breathe. . .in. . . .https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/

Dee said this and it jumped right out at me:

I found I was stronger and more capable than I ever knew - but I needed to stay sober to find that out.

This, all day long. Once you do some really hard things sober, and realize how capable you really are of getting through ANYTHING sober, it gets so much easier. Every time you face a challenge and don't turn to alcohol, you get stronger. Work those sober muscles.

Last year after my dad died, I had to handle everything, from 400 miles away. There was literally no one else to do it. I also still had a life of my own to deal with. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. Oddly, I had almost zero thoughts of drinking until it was all over. But there was no way I was going to do that, and it was just because I was so TIRED.

You can get through this, Bonnie. Keep posting here, remember to eat, rest, and breathe, and you'll be so happy when you realize you can do hard things sober.