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Why I should/should not drink on this trip:

Old 07-21-2019, 12:31 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Sick n tired
 
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Think you know the answer to this don’t you. The first five reaseond to pick up are just the lies of the AV alcohol is just one big fake promise. You can get through this and have fun sober. Imagine that no consequenses tovdesl with afterwards.
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Old 07-21-2019, 05:27 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Sorry if it’s self indulgent, but I’m going to go on and use this thread to check in and keep myself accountable for the next week. It’s not exactly riveting stuff, but it helps me knowing I’m going to come here and post.

Yesterday there was traffic in several parts of Louisiana, which meant our arrival here
was delayed. And the hotel is right by a freeway, so there was no place to walk and it was getting late anyway. So yeah, after spending the day in the car, no walk.

Things Not Going My Way is one of my top reasons to drink, especially when one of my favorite ways to unwind isn’t happening. So my AV was really filling my head with some bright ideas.

Then we went out to eat at a restaurant nearby, and I had a nice steak and some roasted asparagus (because keto), along with a tall glass of iced tea.

After that I learned that my son had brought his xbox from home, so I helped him kill a bunch of aliens then went to bed sober.

Today is more driving, ending at our destination. The hotel we’ll be in tonight is near the beach. Even if it’s late, I’m getting my walk, and I won’t drink.
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Old 07-21-2019, 08:44 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Keep posting please - I'm enjoying your journey and your (sober) vacation with you.
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Old 07-21-2019, 08:54 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Oh dear god, today was rough. Not sure how I’m going to make it through the rest of this trip. But we’ve arrived in Florida, and my kids are way excited to be here. I’ve picked up on those feelings a bit and am starting to get into things.

Tomorrow will be tough. I have to take care of some business regarding my stepdad’s will. Also, it’s just hitting me ... the sadness over losing him. And now what to do for my mom? She can no longer live independently.

One thing at a time though, and it’ll be okay. Right? Whatever happens, we will go to the beach. Everything looks fine when you’re sitting on the beach.

Anyway, I’m rambling and tired, but glad to be sober. G’ night.
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Old 07-21-2019, 09:29 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hi Bonnie

the only way to learn to live live to the full, without alcohol, is to do just that.

You'll get some bad times., but a lot of good times too - and we're here for support through both

I found I was stronger and more capable than I ever knew - but I needed to stay sober to find that out.

You will too - you don't need alcohol - you don't need to 'take the edge off' that way - think of some healthy alternatives to relax.

D
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Old 07-22-2019, 04:16 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Thanks Dee. I guess this is my first big challenge since getting sober. Mostly things have been going smoothly the past several months, but I was going to have to face a few challenges sooner or later. I’m going to be feeling pretty smug when I get through this sober.

This morning I woke up before sunrise, had some coffee, and went for a walk on the beach at first light. Throughout my years as an adult, I’ve traveled to many beaches. This was the first time I’ve ever woken up hangover free and taken morning stroll. It was awesome.
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Old 07-22-2019, 05:04 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I grew up in Florida and sunrise on the ocean is gorgeous.

You can make it through this, BF. Just remember the same things we say about drinking parties apply to your current situation.

If it gets to be too much you can always excuse yourself from the conversation and go outside and breathe. There are lots of instances in life where I walk away rather than get worked up.

Have an escape plan. Put pretty pictures on your phone and look at them if stressed. Carry a list stating why you quit.

I have things with me to keep my hands busy. Sometimes it's just a pine cone or a rock or shell, but something to fidget with always helps me.

Breathe. . .in. . . .https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/
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Old 07-22-2019, 08:12 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Dee said this and it jumped right out at me:

I found I was stronger and more capable than I ever knew - but I needed to stay sober to find that out.

This, all day long. Once you do some really hard things sober, and realize how capable you really are of getting through ANYTHING sober, it gets so much easier. Every time you face a challenge and don't turn to alcohol, you get stronger. Work those sober muscles.

Last year after my dad died, I had to handle everything, from 400 miles away. There was literally no one else to do it. I also still had a life of my own to deal with. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. Oddly, I had almost zero thoughts of drinking until it was all over. But there was no way I was going to do that, and it was just because I was so TIRED.

You can get through this, Bonnie. Keep posting here, remember to eat, rest, and breathe, and you'll be so happy when you realize you can do hard things sober.
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Old 07-22-2019, 07:19 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Thanks guys. The encouragement is really helping me.

Today was good. Except for the part when I cried in front of people (because we were talking about my recently departed stepdad), and now everyone suspects I’m human.

Other than that, things went remarkably well today. 1000 times better than I even hoped. We had a nice visit with my mom. It was funny — I had to remind her who Mr Bonnie was, and she was so happy for me and our marriage. Of course we’ve been married for over 20 years, but she was so happily surprised. And she got a big kick out of the kids; it was so good for her to be around them. She doesn’t remember much, but it was fine; she is happy and in good spirits.

All the other issues and concerns are working out. I’m getting the feeling that everything is actually, for real, going to be okay.

Anyway, tomorrow is about fun. We’re taking Mom out to lunch, then after we drop her back off, the family and I will head for the beach. I’m really looking forward to a relaxing day.

Not out of the woods yet, but things are looking good.
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