When it’s so bad only a drink will do-what can I do? Weekenders 19 - 22 July 2019
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Morning weekenders. Happy Friday - I'm in!
It's 200 days today for me today and this has come with mixed feelings. I felt quite ill at ease yesterday and binged on chocolate and cake - silly because I've been super healthy since quitting. Hope its not a sign of a deeper malaise setting in... maybe I'm not doing enough...
Thanks Mags for the thread. When I was drinking, I used alcohol as my navigation aid. If anything was stressing me or there was a decision to be made I would get myself to one of my regular pubs and sit with a solitary pint to 'ground me' before proceeding. I felt as if I needed it. Now a cup of tea, a healthy meal or a relaxing swim tend to level me out.
I do believe I had a 'ping' moment on New Years eve just after my last drink. I sat alone in my room feeling miserable with fireworks going off outside the closed curtains, thinking of how much I now hated alcohol and mourning everything it had taken from me. This was new point of resolve and I haven't touched a drop since. The question of 'what if things get really bad' hasn't really been addressed yet but I am determined in myself that I would never drink.
Anyway, I'm seeing my parents this weekend which will be nice. As usual I'll have a mix of work and leisure and that's no bad thing. I'll be keeping up with the thread - keep it coming!
Warm wishes to all. Forwards.
It's 200 days today for me today and this has come with mixed feelings. I felt quite ill at ease yesterday and binged on chocolate and cake - silly because I've been super healthy since quitting. Hope its not a sign of a deeper malaise setting in... maybe I'm not doing enough...
Thanks Mags for the thread. When I was drinking, I used alcohol as my navigation aid. If anything was stressing me or there was a decision to be made I would get myself to one of my regular pubs and sit with a solitary pint to 'ground me' before proceeding. I felt as if I needed it. Now a cup of tea, a healthy meal or a relaxing swim tend to level me out.
I do believe I had a 'ping' moment on New Years eve just after my last drink. I sat alone in my room feeling miserable with fireworks going off outside the closed curtains, thinking of how much I now hated alcohol and mourning everything it had taken from me. This was new point of resolve and I haven't touched a drop since. The question of 'what if things get really bad' hasn't really been addressed yet but I am determined in myself that I would never drink.
Anyway, I'm seeing my parents this weekend which will be nice. As usual I'll have a mix of work and leisure and that's no bad thing. I'll be keeping up with the thread - keep it coming!
Warm wishes to all. Forwards.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Interesting, alcohol had me so blind, I didn't see what it took away until I sobered up.
Exciting Friday for me, my friend invited me to join him for a flight right after work tonight. We are flying over to a small town to a BBQ fund raiser then back in a small Cessna. I've learned quite a bit about piloting from my friend.
Exciting Friday for me, my friend invited me to join him for a flight right after work tonight. We are flying over to a small town to a BBQ fund raiser then back in a small Cessna. I've learned quite a bit about piloting from my friend.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Congratulations on 200 days Forwards 
Enjoy the sky Dragon.
Busy day for me.
How can anyone plan a meeting at 08h00 on a Friday morning or any morning for that matter...
And worse is the late friday afternoon meetings....
Frogs
Enjoy the sky Dragon.
Busy day for me.
How can anyone plan a meeting at 08h00 on a Friday morning or any morning for that matter...
And worse is the late friday afternoon meetings....
Frogs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Dragon, just don't eat too much or he'll have to dump fuel over the forest.
I think letting in those thoughts like "hope I don't slip" or "what if things get really bad" are thoughts I can't really afford. I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days drinking or not - and there have been some spectacularly bad days, drinking or not.
I am not about to go back to those early days of sobriety, if I even would make it back. Those were bad with a side of awful. Just no. I'm not sure I would survive another drink.
Friday, huh? I have to run an errand that takes me into the city. It's always interesting, I may hit up a couple tourist traps. It is the peak of tourist time in Seattle, though. Hm, maybe just the errand and come home.
I think letting in those thoughts like "hope I don't slip" or "what if things get really bad" are thoughts I can't really afford. I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days drinking or not - and there have been some spectacularly bad days, drinking or not.
I am not about to go back to those early days of sobriety, if I even would make it back. Those were bad with a side of awful. Just no. I'm not sure I would survive another drink.
Friday, huh? I have to run an errand that takes me into the city. It's always interesting, I may hit up a couple tourist traps. It is the peak of tourist time in Seattle, though. Hm, maybe just the errand and come home.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
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This online Gal Pal is a Critical Care EMT. In her past, she would lead Teams into Urban Situations so unsafe, their back-up carried AR-15 Semi-Autos while wearing Body Armor. EMTs had become the new 'Targets' to take out in Hostage, and other, situations.
She makes the point I've never forgotten regarding our fundamental differences: some Folks run away from danger, and others run toward it. She and her Peers are in the latter group. Over the Years here on SR, it strikes me that some Sobriety Epiphanies are credited to powers outside us. Others - and I'm one - trace our Ping Epiphany to an Inner Source. In just another ordinary blitzed Evening in January 2014, I had my own Terrestrial 'it's now or never' moment. I was going down. I'm the sort to run toward danger, and I read every Day of similar Folks. They face off and talk down School Shooters. They help lift flaming Cars off crash victims, or help others out of Plane emergencies. In a like manner, no one was gonna drag me into Sobriety, or Rehab. It was all down to me. Digging deep to apply that stark realization after being black-out blitzed again was my 'Ping'.
Over in 'Secular' here, we Rational Recovery types don't permit ourselves to think in terms of 'if I slip'. That's just our AV trying to hang on by any sleazy means necessary. Cheating on my Wife; kicking my Dog; or drinking again are all Scenarios that simply never will go down. Cuz I sez so. Hence, my blue Sig Line below. It is entirely possible to mentally compartmentalize drinking again into the locked Closet of 'just ain't gonna happen'. This conviction is not 'White Knuckling'; it's running toward and triumphing over the danger of an Alcoholic Death. As in 'The Wizard Of Oz', it turned out I had the power all along to click my Heels together 3 times, and go back to Kansas [Sobriety].
From a special version of the Tull Disc 'Thick As A Brick' found in a Frankfurt Record Shop, I got clues of where Ian Anderson's Salmon Farm on the Strathaird Peninsula of Skye was. So, we took the Ferry to Skye [no Bridge back then] during a subsequent trip, and found his Estate House after referencing an old Hotel Lobby Map. Driving around the Topography seen below didn't suck!
Welp, it ain't 114 F [45 C] here today as it was the other Day in Palm Springs CA. But, it's hot enough to pop up to ~11,000' with MesaDog and go Fishing today while MesaMate enjoys a Chick Day Out w/a Gal Pal.
~ 'Raising Steam' ~ Jethro Tull ~
This online Gal Pal is a Critical Care EMT. In her past, she would lead Teams into Urban Situations so unsafe, their back-up carried AR-15 Semi-Autos while wearing Body Armor. EMTs had become the new 'Targets' to take out in Hostage, and other, situations.
She makes the point I've never forgotten regarding our fundamental differences: some Folks run away from danger, and others run toward it. She and her Peers are in the latter group. Over the Years here on SR, it strikes me that some Sobriety Epiphanies are credited to powers outside us. Others - and I'm one - trace our Ping Epiphany to an Inner Source. In just another ordinary blitzed Evening in January 2014, I had my own Terrestrial 'it's now or never' moment. I was going down. I'm the sort to run toward danger, and I read every Day of similar Folks. They face off and talk down School Shooters. They help lift flaming Cars off crash victims, or help others out of Plane emergencies. In a like manner, no one was gonna drag me into Sobriety, or Rehab. It was all down to me. Digging deep to apply that stark realization after being black-out blitzed again was my 'Ping'.
Over in 'Secular' here, we Rational Recovery types don't permit ourselves to think in terms of 'if I slip'. That's just our AV trying to hang on by any sleazy means necessary. Cheating on my Wife; kicking my Dog; or drinking again are all Scenarios that simply never will go down. Cuz I sez so. Hence, my blue Sig Line below. It is entirely possible to mentally compartmentalize drinking again into the locked Closet of 'just ain't gonna happen'. This conviction is not 'White Knuckling'; it's running toward and triumphing over the danger of an Alcoholic Death. As in 'The Wizard Of Oz', it turned out I had the power all along to click my Heels together 3 times, and go back to Kansas [Sobriety].
From a special version of the Tull Disc 'Thick As A Brick' found in a Frankfurt Record Shop, I got clues of where Ian Anderson's Salmon Farm on the Strathaird Peninsula of Skye was. So, we took the Ferry to Skye [no Bridge back then] during a subsequent trip, and found his Estate House after referencing an old Hotel Lobby Map. Driving around the Topography seen below didn't suck!
Welp, it ain't 114 F [45 C] here today as it was the other Day in Palm Springs CA. But, it's hot enough to pop up to ~11,000' with MesaDog and go Fishing today while MesaMate enjoys a Chick Day Out w/a Gal Pal.
~ 'Raising Steam' ~ Jethro Tull ~
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Bim said:
I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days drinking or not - and there have been some spectacularly bad days, drinking or not.
Same here. I have all the evidence I will ever need that I can get through *whatever*, sober or not. So there's no reason to drink.
You don't want to go to Pike Place Market in the height of tourist season, Bim? Whyever not???
I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days drinking or not - and there have been some spectacularly bad days, drinking or not.
Same here. I have all the evidence I will ever need that I can get through *whatever*, sober or not. So there's no reason to drink.
You don't want to go to Pike Place Market in the height of tourist season, Bim? Whyever not???
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Mesa -
I'd say my initial ping came from something *other* than myself, but in the same moment, I also knew I had to draw a line in the sand and never ever step over it. I didn't trust that the ping was enough in and of itself. It was a starting point, and I'm thankful for it. It shifted my thinking enough, for just long enough, for me to have the clarity of thought to do the next right things, which for me were to get myself into outpatient treatment ASAP (within a week) and get my butt to AA so I could see sobriety in action.
I'd say my initial ping came from something *other* than myself, but in the same moment, I also knew I had to draw a line in the sand and never ever step over it. I didn't trust that the ping was enough in and of itself. It was a starting point, and I'm thankful for it. It shifted my thinking enough, for just long enough, for me to have the clarity of thought to do the next right things, which for me were to get myself into outpatient treatment ASAP (within a week) and get my butt to AA so I could see sobriety in action.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,185
Great pic Mesa, that's a handsome ketch or sloop.
The weekend proper is about to start properly for me as it's hometime. That said I am going in for a few hours tomorrow. It's optional in as much as no one is making me go in and I will not be paid for it but I need to get some admin type work done without being constantly interrupted or sidetracked. During my drinking years I would intend to go in but on waking up with a hangover I would leave it all until Monday. Sobriety is a boon when making an effort to be a responsible grown-up.
I had a lousy nights sleep last night so I am going to give Crazy Golf a miss tonight. I might even watch the highlights of those lightweights at the British Open Golf Tournament.
The weekend proper is about to start properly for me as it's hometime. That said I am going in for a few hours tomorrow. It's optional in as much as no one is making me go in and I will not be paid for it but I need to get some admin type work done without being constantly interrupted or sidetracked. During my drinking years I would intend to go in but on waking up with a hangover I would leave it all until Monday. Sobriety is a boon when making an effort to be a responsible grown-up.
I had a lousy nights sleep last night so I am going to give Crazy Golf a miss tonight. I might even watch the highlights of those lightweights at the British Open Golf Tournament.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Originally Posted by Mags1 
Kaily, we’ll get your arms if you reach up! 
’s
:
’s:
Originally Posted by Willow68
I haven’t had a ping either Kaily, but if we hang out here on SR long enough hopefully the ping will be contagious and we’ll get pinged too
I’d like this sobriety to stick
I’d like this sobriety to stick
In all seriousness I still can't absolutely guarantee I will never drink again. I don't know why, I have no plans to drink, unwanted thoughts yes frequently.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hmmm I like it Kaily, almost like a virtual ping.
I have heard that saying “fake it till you make it” so many times in my life.
And while I value honesty above many things, I think sometimes we just have to get in there and do things even when we don’t feel like it, or don’t have the confidence that we can make it.
A bit like after Mum and Dad died I had to make myself get out of bed, make myself shower, make myself get dressed, make myself eat, make myself go for a walk etc. I didn’t want to. But I had to tackle the grief and depression, and by going through the motions, it slowly became e bit easier (it’s still a bit of a struggle if I’m honest but I’m getting there I think).
Also like public speaking. Whenever I have to do it, I quake in my shoes, my heart races, my mouth is dry, I am petrified. But apparently from feedback, I appear confident, calm and engaging when I speak. So for me, it’s as if I work on becoming confident, behave in a confident way, I will be confident outwardly and this will build my confidence until it seeps into my psyche so I feel confident and I become confident.
So I’m hoping this is going to happen with sobriety.
I am abstaining from drinking, working on being sober, behaving soberly, living soberly, so in theory sobriety will seep into my psyche as a way of being and I will become a lifelong sober person...
I have heard that saying “fake it till you make it” so many times in my life.
And while I value honesty above many things, I think sometimes we just have to get in there and do things even when we don’t feel like it, or don’t have the confidence that we can make it.
A bit like after Mum and Dad died I had to make myself get out of bed, make myself shower, make myself get dressed, make myself eat, make myself go for a walk etc. I didn’t want to. But I had to tackle the grief and depression, and by going through the motions, it slowly became e bit easier (it’s still a bit of a struggle if I’m honest but I’m getting there I think).
Also like public speaking. Whenever I have to do it, I quake in my shoes, my heart races, my mouth is dry, I am petrified. But apparently from feedback, I appear confident, calm and engaging when I speak. So for me, it’s as if I work on becoming confident, behave in a confident way, I will be confident outwardly and this will build my confidence until it seeps into my psyche so I feel confident and I become confident.
So I’m hoping this is going to happen with sobriety.
I am abstaining from drinking, working on being sober, behaving soberly, living soberly, so in theory sobriety will seep into my psyche as a way of being and I will become a lifelong sober person...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Caught up on one page. I will have to read back to find out about pings.
Hope that you sleep well tonight, Sao.
Willow, sobriety will soon be an ‘essence’, who and what you are and will always be. It is very cool when that happens. Watch for it.
Hope that you sleep well tonight, Sao.
Willow, sobriety will soon be an ‘essence’, who and what you are and will always be. It is very cool when that happens. Watch for it.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Sad news. For those of you that remember Cloud, the therapy hamster, he just passed away a few moments ago. Dear daughter, tho expecting it, was devistated. We have him in a box and will bury him tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
Count me in!
I didn't have a ping, either. I mean I had one...... it's just that I kept drinking for 3 years, so I'm not sure it counts!
I feel like sobriety is a series of back and fourths, 2 steps forward, one step back. It's progress, not perfection. That ping 3 years ago did lead me slowly down the path of sobriety whether I realized it or not. The next year I drank less, then less, then not at all, then relapsed and now here I am on my 26th weekend sober.
I didn't have a ping, either. I mean I had one...... it's just that I kept drinking for 3 years, so I'm not sure it counts!
I feel like sobriety is a series of back and fourths, 2 steps forward, one step back. It's progress, not perfection. That ping 3 years ago did lead me slowly down the path of sobriety whether I realized it or not. The next year I drank less, then less, then not at all, then relapsed and now here I am on my 26th weekend sober.
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