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Uh oh...Retail Therapy? Or overspending....lol

Old 07-16-2019, 06:41 PM
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Uh oh...Retail Therapy? Or overspending....lol

Still better than drinking.

I had a bad day...this a-hole arranged a memorial service for my sister.

I have no idea what his intent is...he wasn't even close to my sister..anyway to long to go into...but that really had me ripping mad...because I haven't allowed myself to grieve for her..and there were 2 people that visited her when she was alive and that was me and her partner that lived with her...

And my knuckles are killing me from the spigot on my fathers hose as I have been trying to drain his 4ft above ground pool.

So after I left his house today with all this on my mind....I changed my sheets (always makes me happy) and then decided to throw my spread away (burn holes...from drinking and falling asleep with cig)....and I drove and bought a new bed spread..sheets...pillow cases and a cozy blanket.

I am a happy girl right now but I know exactly what I DID..I replaced drinking today with shopping (with money I don't really have)...bad...but I feel good and i won't be hungover....LOL
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Old 07-16-2019, 06:51 PM
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Sounds to me like you practiced excellent self-care, Missy.

Enjoy your new bedding!
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Old 07-16-2019, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Opivotal View Post
Sounds to me like you practiced excellent self-care, Missy.

Enjoy your new bedding!
Thank you very much! And possibly I will sleep well...I haven't slept well the whole 22 days.
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Old 07-16-2019, 07:30 PM
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Hey Missy. I’ve been there. Trading alcohol addiction for other addictions - shopping, chocolate, sugar, even over exercising. But I had read some book, one person’s opinio, that the way she got through it was to allow herself anything at all as long as she didn’t drink. So I followed that advice. Though my weight bounced around and I spent too much money, I stayed sober. Ultimately, I worked deep on my inner self and stopped searching for things outside myself to make me happy and bring me peace. We are all a work in progress.

Maybe you need those new sheets to push your old self away and embrace your new sober self
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Old 07-16-2019, 07:48 PM
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Hi Missy

Try not to get too upset about the memorial service - it could be this guy has good motives- I know I have lots of close deep and enduring relationships my family know very little about.

D
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Old 07-16-2019, 08:49 PM
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I'm sorry about the problems with the memorial service for your sister.

I always feel happy when I have fresh sheets too. I think you shopped for bedding that will look good in your bedroom and will feel comfy. Perfect!
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Old 07-16-2019, 09:27 PM
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Sheets for you. Food for me. That's my vice now.lol. Keep coming back
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Old 07-16-2019, 11:42 PM
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Linen sheets are life changing. Just sayin.
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50 View Post


Maybe you need those new sheets to push your old self away and embrace your new sober self
This was EXACTLY the thought I was having...I said to self: The NEW YOU deserves new sheets...I worked HARD thru my last detox.

Still 3 weeks later...my skin is awful..bags under eyes..people think I am still drinking because of the toll the alcohol took on my body this time...I can't and won't go back to it....

So I bought the new sheets to solidify that I am "new".
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Missy

Try not to get too upset about the memorial service - it could be this guy has good motives- I know I have lots of close deep and enduring relationships my family know very little about.

D
Um...this guy is worried about going to jail...he has been stealing from my Mother and Father for 5 years and he knows my other sister and I are onto him....my Dad LOVES this guy..and my Dad has dementia so he can't see what is happening.

I am going to the bank today with my Durable Power of Attorney to cancel the credit card he opened with my Dad in my Dads name but my Dad does not have this card!

This guy is always overstepping boundaries and was NEVER close to my sister...my sister hated everyone in my family including HIM because no one ever cared about her or visited her except me....
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I'm sorry about the problems with the memorial service for your sister.

I always feel happy when I have fresh sheets too. I think you shopped for bedding that will look good in your bedroom and will feel comfy. Perfect!
Even my son who could usually care less...said they were REALLY NICE...
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:58 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberRican View Post
Sheets for you. Food for me. That's my vice now.lol. Keep coming back

Hi SoberRican..FOOD for me too....lol.....sheets and food....lol
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:59 AM
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
Linen sheets are life changing. Just sayin.
I didn't see Linen sheets....just cotton and polyester...I got cotton because that is all my Grandmother bought.
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Old 07-17-2019, 09:16 AM
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Sounds like you have a right to be hopping mad at this guy. Maybe he thinks if he arranges this service you won't have the heart to get him away from your dad? Is there legal recourse you can take beyond the POA?

I don't think there is a single thing wrong with your purchase. Sometimes we need to cast off old "things" that remind us of the past, and get fresh new ones. New bedding is a wonderful gift to yourself. I hope it helps you sleep.

I spent way too much money in the beginning. I kept telling myself it was just money that I would have spent on booze but it got a bit out of control for a while there, LOL. After some time working on myself and getting at the underlying reasons I drank, the spending leveled off, because I got better at finding ways to feel good that didn't have anything to do with alcohol, food, or spending. Like Fearless said, we are works in progress.
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Old 07-17-2019, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by MLD51 View Post
Sounds like you have a right to be hopping mad at this guy. Maybe he thinks if he arranges this service you won't have the heart to get him away from your dad? Is there legal recourse you can take beyond the POA?
Thank you...I don't have the heart to get him away from my Dad until and unless my Dad is incoherent and doesn't know what is going on....this is the only reason we have not pressed charges on him for stealing from my Dad.

This guy does SO MUCH for my Dad...just took him to NH on vacation but my sister looked at my Dads credit card that we are aware of...and even thou he is seemingly appearing he is paying for everything...my Dad paid for all the breakfasts on vacation.

No I can't stop him...from doing the memorial with POA...but I just think it is kinda funny no one will go..except HIM and my DAD...she didn't have ANY friends...and certainly none that this guy is aware of.

We just got the funeral done not even a year....I don't know what his intent "could" be doing this...except to have my Dad and US continue to think he is a "great" guy and not press charges on him.

I have been asking more questions lately (since being sober) and I know he is nervous.

Thanks for writting and listening.
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Old 07-17-2019, 11:08 AM
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OK I understand the situation a little better now. So he is sort of your dad's carer then? That seems to be a pretty common story - you trust someone to care for a family member and then they take advantage of the whole family. That's awful. I can understand not wanting to do anything much about it until your dad is unaware - that might make him just really mad at you. Maybe if you just keep letting this guy know you are watching, he will stop it.
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Old 07-17-2019, 11:31 AM
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Missy, I am in the same boat. Except my vice is makeup. The amount of makeup that I have bought over the past few months is embarrassing. I look great though

Also, sorry about the situation with your dad and that a-hole. It sounds like you're taking some steps to take care of it though?
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Old 07-17-2019, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Misssy2 View Post
Um...this guy is worried about going to jail...he has been stealing from my Mother and Father for 5 years and he knows my other sister and I are onto him....my Dad LOVES this guy..and my Dad has dementia so he can't see what is happening.

I am going to the bank today with my Durable Power of Attorney to cancel the credit card he opened with my Dad in my Dads name but my Dad does not have this card!

This guy is always overstepping boundaries and was NEVER close to my sister...my sister hated everyone in my family including HIM because no one ever cared about her or visited her except me....
Under those circs, you're right to worry

D
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by MLD51 View Post
OK I understand the situation a little better now. So he is sort of your dad's carer then? That seems to be a pretty common story - you trust someone to care for a family member and then they take advantage of the whole family. That's awful. I can understand not wanting to do anything much about it until your dad is unaware - that might make him just really mad at you. Maybe if you just keep letting this guy know you are watching, he will stop it.
OMG NO..he is not my DADS carer...He shows up 1x a week and takes him out to dinner....he takes him on vacation 1x a year...My sister and I are main carers..I'm there 6-7 hours a day until my sister gets home from work (poor thing) and feeds him dinner and her kids....and then I show up next morning.

Carer? that made me so mad...but you did not know....lol
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Old 07-17-2019, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by dpac414 View Post
Missy, I am in the same boat. Except my vice is makeup. The amount of makeup that I have bought over the past few months is embarrassing. I look great though

Also, sorry about the situation with your dad and that a-hole. It sounds like you're taking some steps to take care of it though?
Yup..makeup too...me....(you look great..LOL).....I still don't look great after 3 weeks of sobriety...I really did a doozy to myself this time....Maybe I should buy MORE makeup....haha..

I'm buying everything today I bought a set of pliers but i need them to drain the lawnmower...but I still was searching the hardware store for something ELSE to buy.
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