Slaybells247

WOW cravings are strong today. I thought there was supposed to be some sort of pink cloud to keep me going LOL. Is it weird to wake up after a full 8 hours of non-interrupted sleep, feeling great, hands stable and to think, "maybe being hungover wasn't that bad!"Man the crazy things that goes on in my head.

I am getting a big above ground pool installed today - a little early birthday present to myself that I bought a month ago and thus off for 2 days. I love to day drink on my days off and it doesn't help the AV says "celebrate- you are getting your pool!... PLUS, how do I enjoy my pool without a frosty beverage???"

I'm staying strong because I know that 1 drink = 10+, and I will only enjoy the day buzz for a mere hour before it turns into a day long chase. Now I only have to tell myself that 100 more times today...

SoberRican

I feel ya. But like you said. All that thinking of booze for a time slotted hour then what? Cant enjoy pool cause your going to the bathroom .etc chasing the drink. ....stay strong . one day at a time

Anna

Day 12 is great. I never experienced the pink cloud feeling and I think it was actually better that way. My recovery was just kind of slow and steady.

So, the pool is a great gift to yourself and it's going to be brand new. You do not ever have to have any memories of being around the pool with alcohol in your hand.

tomls

I think we can all relate. Everything I did when I was drinking was just something that I was doing while I was drinking. Drinking came first then maybe I would do something else or try to anyway. Pretty much my whole life until I found this place called SR.

biminiblue

Boy. ^^This. And not only the chase, but the horrible after-effects of misery at 3AM and into the next day.

Your pool will be so nice with a glass of sweet tea.

Slaybells247

Yes, thank you Anna! It's like my brain is a balance beam right now. One side feeling sad & a little angry about never experiencing floating in my back yard with a drink (I purchased when I was still active and fantasized about this) and then the other feeling grateful that it's new and thus not a dedicated trigger spot.

Appreciate all of your posts and support. I feel a little more accountable now... at least for today

MLD51

If you have to tell yourself 1000 times, it's still worth it. I am over 4 and a half years sober now, and I have had to remind myself one drink = 7,8,9 about 3000 times I figure. I have never for one minute regretted being sober. You won't regret it, either. And yeah - your new pool can be a trigger-free zone - pretty soon you will forget that you ever thought it would be nice to float with a cocktail. You can float with a different cool, frosty beverage and enjoy it even more.

Dee74

I never had a pink cloud either - but I did have relief that I'd never have to drink again.,

The more things I faced sober, good and bad, the better I got at sober living

sorry today is not great slaybells but I hope tomorrow will be better

D

Verdantia

Good job on day 12, Slaybells. You're so correct that the enjoyment of the buzz lasts only a short while, but the guilt, shame, and hangover for me carried on far, far longer. I never had 'pink cloud' euphoria, either--the last time I quit drinking, on day 12 I was recovering from trying to kill myself in a suicidal, drunken car wreck, so not having a pink cloud was kinda understandable. I agree with MLD51 that I have not regretted one second of my sobriety, and it's been 3 years, 7 months. I also concur that 1 drink is totally unrealistic, and once I get started there is no telling where it will end except it will undoubtedly be a ghastly destination. Wishing you a better day tomorrow. The pool will be awesome and so enjoyable in this summer swelter.

Sober369

Swimming sober is great. Swimming drunk is very dangerous, especially if you're alone. Enjoy your pool, it sounds wonderful.

least

When you have some solid sober time, you won't feel that constant urge to drink. Being sober will be the new normal and drinking will be the last thing on your mind. It gets better, as long as you stay sober!