Nearly 8 months and it is starting to make sense
 

So there I was, sat in a meeting yesterday. A friend had told me how they felt about people who don't share in meetings an I am guilty of over thinking and winding myself up at a meeting to the point where I am too scared to speak. I had her words in my head.

Opposite me was an old timer (Well she wasn't that old, just had a few years sobriety under her belt!) who has made comments about my not sharing in the past. Things like "Oh you can read this and that way we can at least hear what you sound like" as she gave me the steps to read.

So my anxiety doubled. The meeting started, the shares flowed and then we were there, 6 minutes to go, just me and one other person who hadn't spoken.

So I am sitting there looking at my feet, trying to not be noticed as usual and suddenly I heard a voice saying "My name's Dave and I am an Alcoholic"

Everyone said "Hello Dave" in unison... At that point I suddenly realised the voice was mine, I had spoken. Oh ****.

Oh ****.

Now I had to say something, anything. And then the words of my friend and also sponsor bounced around my head.

It doesn't matter what you share or how eloquent you are, most people won't remember what you said 30 seconds after you spoke but you need to speak from your heart and not your head. Speak what you feel not what you think everyone wants to hear.

For the first time (I have shared several times at other meetings) I realised that I can really unburden myself, clear my head just by saying something that means nothing to anyone but me.

I would like to thank my friend for her words of wisdom , my Sponsor for reinforcing those words and the Old Timer for making me open my mouth....

And thank you all for listening.

Hey you broke the ice. Good job. Should be gravy now😁 cant wait fer me to say I got 8 months .working on it tho. Day 73 keep coming back ✌

That's great Dave!!!

And I didn't speak for a long time (dunno, couple months?) and now I share plenty....though often times I remember that my act of service to others might be just my presence as someone else listening to them.

We def need sponsors and other people to prompt us in different ways!

You're figuring out a balance! Keep up the great work.

Definitely the quickest and most fulfilling 8 months of my life and I am sure that you will make it, your mindset is definitely right and you should be proud of your 73 days.. One day at a time. That is all I have been doing and suddenly I am over 200 hundred days... Ok so it took me a while to share but, lol... Well done on your sobriety and keep the faith in yourself...

Things are sounding great livingonwishes - congrats :)

D