Sick and tired of being sick and tired, you know the drill.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Sick and tired of being sick and tired, you know the drill.
I want my life back! I can't believe how alcohol has so much control over me! I've been drinking nightly for over two years, a bottle of wine and two shots of vodka, or a bottle and a half of wine. I'm probably lying to myself and it's been more. Every morning I wake up and tell myself I'm done with drinking. My looks have faded (dehydrated), bags under my eyes, and I've missed one too many days of work. I've missed out on so much of life sitting on my couch after work watching Netflix drinking, having to click rewind the next evening cause I don't remember what I've watched.
I'm lonely and depressed. I'm divorced, my kids are adults now, youngest going to college in the Fall. My Mother has stage 4 COPD and is on hospice. I'm tired. Drinking helps me fall asleep, of course not good sleep as we all know. I can't afford to go to Detox/treatment and I could loose my job if I do. I can't pull through the withdrawals, fatigue, anxiety, lethargic, brain fog and shaking.
I'm just going to keep on praying to the higher power that he will get me through this and my final quit day is soon to come. I'm only 40 and I know I have so much more life to live! This disease will kill me, it did my Dad, if I can't get control of it!
Thank you for reading my story. Any advice/tips/prayers are always welcome.
I'm lonely and depressed. I'm divorced, my kids are adults now, youngest going to college in the Fall. My Mother has stage 4 COPD and is on hospice. I'm tired. Drinking helps me fall asleep, of course not good sleep as we all know. I can't afford to go to Detox/treatment and I could loose my job if I do. I can't pull through the withdrawals, fatigue, anxiety, lethargic, brain fog and shaking.
I'm just going to keep on praying to the higher power that he will get me through this and my final quit day is soon to come. I'm only 40 and I know I have so much more life to live! This disease will kill me, it did my Dad, if I can't get control of it!
Thank you for reading my story. Any advice/tips/prayers are always welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I was once in similar circumstances.
I checked into a treatment center and have done what they told me (be an active participant in AA) ever since I completed treatment.
My life has changed completely.
Hang around here and you will hear many more stories of peoples whose lives have been restored to them.
I checked into a treatment center and have done what they told me (be an active participant in AA) ever since I completed treatment.
My life has changed completely.
Hang around here and you will hear many more stories of peoples whose lives have been restored to them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Well you are in the prime of your life and can’t spend it on the couch drinking. Things are difficult but alcohol will only make them worse. Maybe mix up your routine. Try getting to AA at night, counseling, the gym, cooking, go browse things for your child’s dorm. When life is stressful it’s easy to turn to alcohol to numb the feelings but they only get worse. I’m 40 also, and 40 hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m doing my best to counteract the clock. Drinking didn’t help me at all. I put on 15 lbs the minute I turned 40, white hair started showing up and my eyelids were droopy. Alcohol will not make me any younger and will age people fast. You will love how your skin looks once you stop dehydration nightly, and your body starts to absorb nutrients and burn fat now that it’s not constantly having to detox from alcohol. Give it 2 weeks, you will be amazed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Hey speak of the devil I'm 40 years old as well! I have 27 months of sobriety, my last drink was at age 38 1/2.
First I want to repeat something I said in the weekender. Initially in sobriety I was profoundly sad that I had thrown away my 20s and 30s. It really stung me to realize that the entirety of my young adult life had been wasted being drunk. Although I was happy that I was finally committed to sobriety, that is time that unfortunately you never get back.
As I've progressed in my recovery and had more time to pray, meditate, let go of resentments and practice gratitude I have changed my perspective. Life is beautiful for me now. I am happy, healthy, and sane for the first time ever and it is all because of diligently working my program.
On top of that I now have a little bit more wisdom that can only be learned through life experiences. I'm not an old sage by any means but I think I've learned a thing or two along my crazy path in this world.
It is never too late. My 20s and 30s sucked but my 40s are starting off awesome and I believe it will only get better. There is no reason it can't get better for you either.
First I want to repeat something I said in the weekender. Initially in sobriety I was profoundly sad that I had thrown away my 20s and 30s. It really stung me to realize that the entirety of my young adult life had been wasted being drunk. Although I was happy that I was finally committed to sobriety, that is time that unfortunately you never get back.
As I've progressed in my recovery and had more time to pray, meditate, let go of resentments and practice gratitude I have changed my perspective. Life is beautiful for me now. I am happy, healthy, and sane for the first time ever and it is all because of diligently working my program.
On top of that I now have a little bit more wisdom that can only be learned through life experiences. I'm not an old sage by any means but I think I've learned a thing or two along my crazy path in this world.
It is never too late. My 20s and 30s sucked but my 40s are starting off awesome and I believe it will only get better. There is no reason it can't get better for you either.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I quit when I was just turning 40.
The bottom line is you can fill a page with excuses not to stop - but in the end the only real solution is to stop.
If you can;t do that on your own, t hings like AA or SMART or any other meeting based approach will help, as will SR.
Why not check out our Class of July support thread,. Its for everyone quitting this month - all you need to do to join is post in it.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-13.html
If you're worried about withdrawal the only really safe thing to do is see your Dr about it.
It takes change and commitment, and a little leap of faith - but it's worth it Free
The bottom line is you can fill a page with excuses not to stop - but in the end the only real solution is to stop.
If you can;t do that on your own, t hings like AA or SMART or any other meeting based approach will help, as will SR.
Why not check out our Class of July support thread,. Its for everyone quitting this month - all you need to do to join is post in it.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-13.html
If you're worried about withdrawal the only really safe thing to do is see your Dr about it.
It takes change and commitment, and a little leap of faith - but it's worth it Free
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Better late than never. Age 48 for me. . cant dwell on the past. Learn from it move on. I see now you realize booze has a grip on you. You can break the chain. Have You tried going to your HR tell them your sick and need help? Now that will put you in the radar. But if they care about their employees. They will understand. This is your life you're talking about cuz you keep going on that path ultimately you know what's going to be the ending
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I quit at 50. I was having a ton of mental and physical issues.
You at least know what you are dealing with. I had to learn.
Quitting hurt like nothing I can explain. I drank way harder than you off and on.
I could drink a nearly a fifth of vodka in one night, followed by several strong beers. Than I would go a few days with no drinking, thinking I didn't have a problem because I could stop for a few days or longer.
Wrong wrong wrong.
The only answer for me was quitting drinking. Now this clean life is way better. I deal with everything very well. I feel like I need to watch out driving and things because life is so good.
The suffering I experienced caused some ptsd. I use the ptsd to stay clean. I exercise to get the natural dopamine that the booze sapped. This is why folks get addicted.
It takes a long long long time for the dopamine to return to normal. Exercise sped up the process. I also get in shape while I get my natural high I so badly crave still.
We addicts will crave the buzz. Maybe after some more time I wont crave the buzz, but for now I do.
When I quit I felt like hell, but it turns out I had way more energy then my mind led me to believe. It was because I was used to being weak.
Hope this helps you in some way. Trying to help folks is good for dopamine as well.
Thanks.
You at least know what you are dealing with. I had to learn.
Quitting hurt like nothing I can explain. I drank way harder than you off and on.
I could drink a nearly a fifth of vodka in one night, followed by several strong beers. Than I would go a few days with no drinking, thinking I didn't have a problem because I could stop for a few days or longer.
Wrong wrong wrong.
The only answer for me was quitting drinking. Now this clean life is way better. I deal with everything very well. I feel like I need to watch out driving and things because life is so good.
The suffering I experienced caused some ptsd. I use the ptsd to stay clean. I exercise to get the natural dopamine that the booze sapped. This is why folks get addicted.
It takes a long long long time for the dopamine to return to normal. Exercise sped up the process. I also get in shape while I get my natural high I so badly crave still.
We addicts will crave the buzz. Maybe after some more time I wont crave the buzz, but for now I do.
When I quit I felt like hell, but it turns out I had way more energy then my mind led me to believe. It was because I was used to being weak.
Hope this helps you in some way. Trying to help folks is good for dopamine as well.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
"Better late than never. Age 48 for me."
Same here but I quit 3 weeks before I turned 48 so hopefully I will live my last 2 years of my 40's sober. 48 aint that old. We got this rican. And you got this too free. Just stop buying and drinking alcohol and see where it takes you. Give it some time. You cant even choose if you dont experience being sober for awhile. If your anything like me you will soon learn its not that big of a deal to be sober. I know the AV says it will suck and be impossible. I'm here to say its wrong. Its actually pretty cool feeling good and saving money and your health and gaining respect back. theres not alot to miss from drinking. Like nothing at all. Look as hard as you can but I bet you wont find a single person saying they wish they were still drinking. Dont believe the Addicted Voice hype.
Same here but I quit 3 weeks before I turned 48 so hopefully I will live my last 2 years of my 40's sober. 48 aint that old. We got this rican. And you got this too free. Just stop buying and drinking alcohol and see where it takes you. Give it some time. You cant even choose if you dont experience being sober for awhile. If your anything like me you will soon learn its not that big of a deal to be sober. I know the AV says it will suck and be impossible. I'm here to say its wrong. Its actually pretty cool feeling good and saving money and your health and gaining respect back. theres not alot to miss from drinking. Like nothing at all. Look as hard as you can but I bet you wont find a single person saying they wish they were still drinking. Dont believe the Addicted Voice hype.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
I know thats real. Like now day 69 for me. And I went on bike ride saw a garage sale. Bought a smoky Joe in the box . charcoal and fire starter. For 15 bucks. Thats a come up. However the moral of the story is if I was still in my lunicy I would be thinking shoot thats a case of beer feel me. That's how messed up a boozer mind is.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 20
Aww I really feel for you. You're having a difficult time. Support groups could help you feel less alone. As someone else said is it worth having a chat at work with someone? I've struggled to work with brain fog. You can't afford rehab but are there any charities that could offer support/treatment?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You nailed it, you are 40 and have much life left to live. I didn't come to that realization until i was 50. Start living life, you won't regret it. That being said, I am sorry about your plight and don't blame you for turning to alcohol. But it doesn't have to be that way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
I was just like you two years and eleven months ago today, at age 39. I came here, again, posted, and didn’t drink that day. The next day, rinse, repeat. And the day after. Then, I joined the class of August 2016 here. I posted, read, didn’t drink. Days added to weeks. Weeks to months.
My life changed. So completely did my life change you wouldn’t know I was the same person. I know, though, and I’m grateful.
You can do it too. Try not drinking today, and join the class like Dee suggested. It can’t hurt, right? You won’t regret it, right?
My life changed. So completely did my life change you wouldn’t know I was the same person. I know, though, and I’m grateful.
You can do it too. Try not drinking today, and join the class like Dee suggested. It can’t hurt, right? You won’t regret it, right?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I suggest getting help from your doctor to get thru withdrawals safely and comfortably. Drinking does not help you sleep, you just pass out. 
Since I got sober, I get the best sleep ever and wake up feeling good.
I hope you'll take a leap of faith and stop drinking. Life is way better sober.
Since I got sober, I get the best sleep ever and wake up feeling good.I hope you'll take a leap of faith and stop drinking. Life is way better sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
BY LAW...they can not fire you for this....IF you are seeking "help" ...so you can go to detox and take time off...but it will always be a "thing" after that with work everytime you call out even if it is for a legit thing...their minds go to alcohol.
I went to detox at one job 8 x in 9 years...The medical dept at work told me it was a LAW that if you are getting help they can NOT fire you...so I started going....
It finally took in 2005 and I had 8 years sobriety.
I started drinking again 6 years ago....but I am currently sober...a little over 2 weeks...GO FOR IT....YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT...and your JOB is safe anyway.
I went to detox at one job 8 x in 9 years...The medical dept at work told me it was a LAW that if you are getting help they can NOT fire you...so I started going....
It finally took in 2005 and I had 8 years sobriety.
I started drinking again 6 years ago....but I am currently sober...a little over 2 weeks...GO FOR IT....YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT...and your JOB is safe anyway.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by SoberCAH 
I was once in similar circumstances.
I checked into a treatment center and have done what they told me (be an active participant in AA) ever since I completed treatment.
My life has changed completely.
Hang around here and you will hear many more stories of peoples whose lives have been restored to them.
I checked into a treatment center and have done what they told me (be an active participant in AA) ever since I completed treatment.
My life has changed completely.
Hang around here and you will hear many more stories of peoples whose lives have been restored to them.
I am going to stick around here, I need to get out of this miserable cycle! I drink now to help with the withdrawals not because I actually want to drink. I'm tired of this! Thanks for your post!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Dee74
If you're worried about withdrawal the best thing, hands down, is to see a Dr, Free.
D
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
